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Hi hotrodhc!
Definitely go with this breeder you've found! ONE cockatiel baby, hand-fed and hand-raised, but fully weaned before you take it home.
Grey cockatiels are (generally) somewhat smarter than the lighter colors, but most people don't consider them to be as pretty. For myself, I think plain grey cockatiels are very pretty. They are also usually the cheapest. One cockatiel will not be lonely if you put it in the busiest room of the house, such as the living room, and if you leave the TV on when you are gone for the day. Any bird you own will need care every day, not like a cat or dog that you can leave at home with plenty of food and water for 2-3 days, so on long trips away from home you will need someone to stop by the house in the evening to cover the cage and in the morning to take the cover off so your bird can sleep properly, and to change the water every day as well as feed the bird. Better yet, ideally, you should take it with you (in a small travel cage is fine for the occasional few-day trip, just like a hotel room is fine for you for that amount of time) to grandma's house or wherever you're going. Birds need care every day but the care they need is simple compared to a dog. Some people may consider cats to be easier to care for, others may consider birds to be easier to take care of -- to me they're about the same.
As a general rule, your bird should be getting a minimum of 1-2 hours out of the cage every day. If you don't take it out on the occasional 2-3 day vacation or something then I doubt it'll freak out or anything, but then handle it more when you get home. You can handle the bird out of the cge for as many hours of the day as you'd like, but the important thing is to NOT close the cage door when the bird is out! If you leave it open, the bird can go back in the cage when it gets tired.
Tell the breeder your situation, and ask her to pick out the best cockatiel baby for your family in each available color and let you see those to pick between. One grey cockatiel will look pretty similar to another, one lutino will look pretty close to another, and so forth. Of course they are individuals like us, but it's probably best to let the breeder pick out the best example of each color, personality wise, for your situation. The breeder is probably more qualified to pick your bird than you are, but the FINAL choice should come down to you and your kids!
Feel free to bring your kids with you. They will be around the bird, so if the bird can't handle whatever behaviours they have while you're picking it out it probably won't be very happy in your home. You should narrow it down to the final choices, each one of which you'd be satisfied to go home with, then tell the kids it's up to them and let them make the decision. They aren't paying and don't have a concept of price, so they will make the best decision without being biased on pricing (which isn't very much difference, just a few dollars one way or the other usually.)
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