[huntress]

Well IMO allowing any parrot near the baby's face is a huge no no. Birds are in fact unpredictable as you have already expirienced. She does in fact sound like she was spoiled to your attentions and is now on the back burner. She has Chosen your husband and he obviously has not chosen her. She is under allot of stress and has begun plucking. If, as you have said you have no time or willpower to fix what you have created and your husband is not willing. Teathering her to a perch will only make it worse - she is a bird and you are her flock and basically have "flock banished" her and even more so if you leave her locked up or tied up. She will pull all of her feathers out and possibly start on her skin next. I have seen this all too often. I will try to say this in a nice way but it is and it isnt your fault, Your life has changed, and you are most probaly making your dreams come true adopting this baby and this baby is a human being that NEEDS your undivided attention. Your fault part, and one not taught when you buy a bird unfortunatly, is that you didnt properly teach your bird from the start how to have many hours to play happily by itself just as you will have to do with your child. Its far more often way too tempting to cuddle our new babies (feathered or not) to the point where we create monsters and we dont mean to.
Now with all that said, and I fully understand your dilemma, but I dont have children. The same thing happens with young couples and dogs. Dog ends up in a shelter.
If you are honest about the whole thing like you are and stating that you cannot fix "all the details" associated with this. Then the best thing you could possibly do for the bird is to rehome it to a qualified bird person who possibly has another bird or two and no toddlers. Try to meet the prospective owner and see that both members (if there are two) have the same feelings about rescuing and rehab.
If you sell the bird in the newspaper or anything like that you will have to understand that the bird can possibly go right into the same situation. Screen applicants closely or call a "bird shelter" that has a real good standing in the area. Best way to find where one of those is ,is to go on petfinder and see what is out there. click on the shelters names next to the birds they are adopting out and get an address. Call and go visit. Even a shelter with expirienced bird people sounds like a safer place for your bird (and your baby) right now and someone else will be able to work with her and eventually place her in a good home.