[Abyssinian1]

Good grief - this list begs for commentary:

Originally Posted by gbird

TEXAS

The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

Apparently the entry for "Moonshine" has been left intact.

A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

I can see this now: "Would it be alright if I came by on Wednesday at 2.35 am to steal your hubcaps and your car stereo while you slept, or would Thursday work out better for you? I and the rest of the gang can also free up some time on Friday night between carjackings if you're available."

Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos. :excited:

So does this mean that owners of adult entertainment stores selling...er...paraphenalia... are in violation of the law?

NEW JERSEY

It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.

Now that would just be too crewel...

It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.

At least, not without reading him or her Miranda rights.

It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder.

However, wearing a bullet-proof cumberbund is allowed under certain circumstances (See Section 16, Clause 2 "007 Exception").

FLORIDA

Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.

This will allow the drunken college students on Spring Break at Daytona Beach to make their way safely to the shoreline at low tide, ensuring proper migratory and mating patterns.

It is illegal to sell your children.

Hiring them out is still okay, right?

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

Said elephant must also have a 'Wide Load' and a 'This Pachyderm Makes Wide Turns' signs prominetly displayed below the tail. The choice of bumperstickers are up to the owner of the elephant, but cannot obstruct the exhaust system.

Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

In Florida, a strapless gown is unecessary. Everyone there seems content with the swimsuit competition and the talent portion of the pageant...

Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

Not to mention painful and then there is the awkward question as to whether to exchange phone numbers...

You really have to wonder about the person or the incident that this law was written to address.

You may not fart in a public place after 6 PM.

Does this include public restrooms or just the stall portion of the restroom? Is a restroom public if there is a guy there to hand you a towel? Is a paid towel guy considered a member of the public?

The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages.

In fact, I think all pigs should be allowed out to mingle with one another (freedom of assembly).

CALIFORNIA

It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

And your vehicle is a submarine. In which case, I wish you the very best of luck in rolling down the window to get in your pot shot.

No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.

I've been on LA's freeways at rush hour... NO vehicles, driverless or not exceed 60 mph.

NEW YORK

The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

The arrest, arraignment, perp walk, trial and sentencing on this one have to be the fastest on record.

A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.

Is that a Dove Bar in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

NEVADA

It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.

Nothing, however, is stopping you from smoking one by the side of the road.

It’s still “legal” to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.

The only law in this entire list I actually agree with.

ALABAMA

It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.

What about the real moustaches that do the same thing, or does it only cover the wax and fake hair ones?

Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. :toofunny:

There is no mention of mitigating circumstances if the flinger is facing upwind at the time (Section 3, paragraph 5 "The Utter Moron Clause')

You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.

You know, I could make a joke here about hot fudge sundaes... but let's leave this one alone, shall we? Carpetbagging New Yorkers and their Dove Bars...

OHIO

It is illegal to get a fish drunk

If you do, would it be a waste of time to throw him into the tank to dry out?

WASHINGTON

It is illegal to entice girls away from the Maple Lane School for girls.

Why bother with Maple Lane when luring girls away from the "Women's National BodyBuilding and Roller Derby Academy and Reform School" is downright encouraged!

All lollipops are banned.

Except then they are swirled.

It is illegal to pretend that one’s parents are rich.

This rule does not apply to anyone with the last name of 'Gates'.