the odd couple

[porcupina1978]

I am looking for advice, insight, general encouragement or CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Please do not respond if you had Greys that loved you right away, and you can't fathom my dilemna.

I adopted Nora, a 13 year old CAG, about 6 months ago. She has bonded with my husband and doesn't bite me anymore. The scars on my hands are fading slowly. Nora tolerates me, and even lets me scratch her head when she is in the cage. She has been used to living alone, and despite the words of her previous person, we adopted a second bird. (Supposedly Nora also didn't like toys, and this has proved to be false. I was hoping that she would enjoy company because when my husband and I are working then she is alone. We live with 2 other people who will be moving out in the next few months. I really wish I had listened to the advice of people who wrote that it is not easier with a second bird) I found a TAG who is 7 months old and we named her Neke.

I have just taken Neke to the emergency room because Nora bit her toe very hard after Neke landed on her cage. She is still there, and there are a lot of different emotions and thoughts going through my head. I feel very bad for Neke, because she seeks out Nora's company and Nora is often mean to her. (If they are on the play gym and have something to occupy them, they seem to get along okay. ) This is not the first time that Nora has hurt Neke, and shame on me for not being there to stop it from happening. I have a heavy heart because Neke is not strongly bonded with us or with Nora. Neke has been with us for almost 2 months, and I am not sure if I should give her back to the breeder. Neke has a missing claw on one foot, and I have a feeling that she may not be easy to find a home for, although she has a sweeter personality and is much more easy going. (The breeders did not tell this to me, and I ended up finding this out once he drove off.)

Nora is very spunky and headstrong. The practice of being nice to her, and hoping she will be nice back is very, very slowly paying off. However she is more destructive and stubborn, and sometimes it is difficult to know how to respond to her. This is at least her 3rd home and I don't like the idea of shuffling her around yet again, but I don't know how happy she will be if she is alone for 8 hours a day.

My husband, who acquiesced to the idea of me adopting the birds, can even imagine just having one due to the stress. I am over my head, and while he would not force me to give them away, I want to do something to remedy the problem.

The win-win situation is that Nora and Neke can get along better... and my husband and I have better relationships with both of them. However I want the birds to be happy, my husband too, and of course myself.

Does anyone else have a similar story with a happier ending than giving a bird away?

[huntress]

YES! Dont give her back! She is very young and will bond. You have a harder time maybe because she is flighted. I have and older rescued grey thats a meany too and a young grey that Is my pet. They do get along sometimes real well. I only allow periodic supervised interaction. You may never be able to put your two together as they are different in beak size and genus but The older bird will greatly benefit from just having her in the room when you are gone. Concentrate on the Tim as your pet, maybe trim the wings a little (they will grow back if you want) and work on her bonding with you. Nora will be happy if you just provide for her needs and leave the bonding to your husband. Neke is still very much a baby and will be hyper and active and plqayful and in trouble allot. My Young Buckeye is still that way at THREE. My Charlie is the rescue and he is almost 10 now. I was told he didnt like toys either. OK whatever BUT he is set in his ways, will bite right now and new things have to be introduced slow. Like a perch or toy. He now gets along with Buckeye but they can be like brothers and have to be separated before it gets out of hand sometimes. They have seperate cages side by side but not too close to touch and at night they are covered but can see each other. They are comforted by other bird company.

[Jannabellsmom]

I don't have the experience to talk but I just wanted to say that all your feelings are understandable and it would be understandable to feel overwhelmed right now. That said, I think those feelings will pass and you will be able to move on from this. Huntress gave good advice. Even tho I don't have the experience, I still wanted to reply and say, hang on, better times are coming.

[porcupina1978]

Dear Huntress and Jannabellsmom, Thank you so much for the kind support. Neke seems do be doing okay so far, and I will visit her later tonight. Nora just let me give her a headscratch this morning, and that makes up for the fact that I have to watch my fingers. Best regards.