When Do You Know It's Time?

[puppetplanet]

Hello everyone,

This is my first post, but I've been lurking around and reading for a while. I haven't posted prior because I've seen some nasty remarks from some rather passionate Grey owners and I'm not much for putting myself in a situation for being judged. But.... I thought I'd post my questions since I'm very close to finally getting a bird and I figured I'd take the lashing.

One concern is that my bird of choice (Grey) is known for it's preference of bonding with one or few people. I'm worried that my home may not be ideal because I have children (6 & 15), as well as dogs, and a very busy house. Fortunately, I do work from home and think that I would make a very good companion for the bird by having the ability to interact with it (verbally) while I work. I hope that by involving my children in the handling, feeding treats, etc. of the bird in the evenings that it will be more social but I know that even this will not guarantee an outgoing personality trait.

A major concern is that I know very little about this type of bird other than my recent forum & internet readings in the past month or so. I have wanted a grey since I was a teen, but my parents were smart and purchased a lovebird for me instead. My luvie passed away last Winter and I ready for another bird, but I'm worried that because of what I have ready about Greys being "spooked" and forming self destructive habits over various things in their environement that I might be in over my head if something goes terribly wrong. It seems from reading all the "what ifs" and horror stories that you nearly have to be an expert to maintain the birds sanity (and your own!)

I've been to lots of pet stores and handled Greys with various personalities, as well as to a couple local breeders. I'm itching to take the plunge, but how do you know if your making the right decision for the bird and not necessarily just because it's what I want? Am I being overly cautious or paranoid, or are they really that difficult to raise?

Your suggestions are much appreciated,
-Michele

[birdlady49]

First welcome to the board and congratulations on taking the plunge and writing your first post.

I commend you for researching the Greys and visiting several potential new family members. Are you involving your children and other immediate family members as well? It's vital that they not be intimidated by such a "large" bird because a Grey will definitely take advantage of such a situation. They have that "sixth sense" you know!

All family members must be part of the process. The more people involved, the more social the bird may be and the less likely s/he will be to become a one-person bird and develop "undesirable" behaviors.

There are no guarantees of course, but take advantage of the wealth of information out there. The biggest mistake people make is just diving in without doing the research.

[Barb E]

Try finding a mature bird (re-home) that has an outgoing personality.

The more parrots I meet, the more I'm convinced that each one has an individual personality (just like us). Some species have reputations but there are often exceptions to those. For example, I've met greys that were very social and would happily step up for different people even as mature birds.

Before you get another bird you might want to try meeting different birds and asking the owners what they like and dislike about their bird.
Reading is good but it's not the same as actually meeting and interacting with different species.
Is there a parrot club near you? Join or visit at a few meetings if you can. Pet stores are o.k. but you will only meet baby birds and that's not the same as a mature bird.

Go slowly in choosing, remember you will have a parrot for a loooooong time so it's better to be as certain as you can.

Barb

[puppetplanet]

I want to thank you both for your suggestions, I really appreciate it. I haven't brought my children with me to all of the visits because I don't want them to be disappointed each time that I don't bring one home. They know I'm looking right now, but that it may still be a while before I'm 100% sure about bringing one home to join our family.

Barb, I find so many conflicting suggestions about what age bird I should be looking for. I get just as many people telling me to obtain a just weaned or almost weaned baby and start socializing it immediately in order to ensure the personality I'm looking for. They said this helps to avoid the problems that older birds might have developed and may be too advanced for a beginner to try and tackle.

One thing I wonder is.... (thinking out loud here) No matter how much socializing opportunities you give a bird, it's still going develop its own personality, likes, dislikes, etc. Right?

I have looked at a few older ones listed in my local paper, but most already had plucking problems and one in particular had some choice phrases/words it was repeating and I didn't want to bring that home to my children. Articulate commands such as "shut the h$!! up you f@$!ing bird" and Son-of-a-b&@! This one would have been a top choice above all others I had visited because he was a very funny guy that bobbed his head up and down, did dances on the top of his cage, and rolled over to have his belly rubbed. He also barked and howled like the guys poodle.... which I thought was hilarious.

[SDavid]

"Pet stores are o.k. but you will only meet baby birds and that's not the same as a mature bird."

Very true. I would add that (depending on the store) many stores have salespeople that aren't exactly "bird" experts. Another reason that you are doing the right thing by researching as much as you can. Believe me, I've held my tongue many times while overhearing salespeople give prospective bird buyers bad advice. Everything from the birds personality to proper cage size, to handling, the list can go on.

"No matter how much socializing opportunities you give a bird, it's still going to develop its own personality, likes, dislikes, etc. Right?"

Pretty much yes. Bird behavior is not science. There is no such thing as "if you do A, you can expect B." Nothing is definite. I agree with Barb E, I too feel that every bird has (and develops) it's own personality. They're definately not little robots or clones of each other.

I'd say if you start out with the mindset that your most important concern is to give the bird a good home, you may be pleasantly surprised. On the other hand, if you have specific expectations (such as "I wan't my bird to talk, or to love everyone in the house the same, or to never bite") you may be disappointed. If this disappointment might lead you to have to give up the bird then maybe it's not the right bird for you. It's for you to decide.

"I'm itching to take the plunge, but how do you know if your making the right decision for the bird and not necessarily just because it's what I want? "

If I was to answer this question for you I'd say:

You are making the right decision for the bird if you are willing to keep it and care for, love, and nurture it through it's possible worst behavior. I think it was another member of this forum that said that in reference to macaws-and it stuck with me. It's a relationship and a process. There may be ups and downs.

"I'm worried that because of what I have ready about Greys being "spooked" and forming self destructive habits over various things in their environement that I might be in over my head if something goes terribly wrong. "

A little on the subject of self-destructie behavior: Yes, greys can get stressed out by elements of our home environment (there are many). Another major cause of self-destructive behavior is suppression of natural behaviors. You can do alot to help avoid this by being sympathetic to the fact that they are born with natural instincts. This means there are certain behaviors they must do to be physically and mentally healthy. You'd need to provide an outlet for these behaviors as much as is possible in your home. Best of luck to you.

[Isaac-1]

I think there are about 8-10 traits that make up the stereotypical African Grey, some of these traits are good like, being good talkers, having large vocabularies, others are less good.

Few birds get all of these traits, but it seems most get many of them.

I know it often seems Shadow my 16 year old female CAG is a stereotypical grey, however while she may hate change, be easilly spooked, picky eater, etc. She has never had a serious plucking problem, only occasional light plucking when stressed (like when we had a mouse in her room a couple of months ago.), she also will go to multiple people, but not strangers.

Ike

[featherduster]

I have a suggestion for you. I "think" you talking about getting a Congo Grey. ?
Have you considered a Timneh grey? Timenhs are wondeful pets. They do have their needs, but not nearly as many as Congo's do. Seems Congo's have more wild instincts then Timnehs. ( in my opinion)
No offense meant, honestly! I have experience with both!

Females of BOTH types seems to be more social and accepting of others.
(Of course, depending on the breeder and weaning.)

Good luck to you! I'm glad your willing to learn and are researching...:):)

[cbalvino]

My two are very different,neither one plucks,one is dna male the other? both are rehomes one at 14 mos one at 4yrs the younger one has taken longer to be my sweetie,but the 4 yr old has been my baby from the start I love,love,love greys Lisa is our resident greyaholic I'm sure she'll have lots to share!also to me it's like having kids if you know you want them,there is no "right" time to have them and no gaurentees that all will be ok,but you love'em and care for them

[babypiggy]

Hm i dont want to "push" your decision on what age of a grey u should get
but i got my Ajax at 4 months old

he's quite a character
he laughs at u,do funny things,loves to be cuddled

when he visits me at work with daddy
he will happily go to other people but will keep either one of us in site. which we stay at msot a few feet away so he can see us

he will even let strangers pet him , give him head scratches, and will happily step up


all animals have their own personality.
just like us.

i honestly dont think CAG is more work than a TAG

well i never had a TAG as this is my first parrot and first grey
tho i've worked with several before in my lifetime

but it's different because ajax lives with me

anywho whatever u decide things will be a little hectic and difficult.

i remmeber the first few weeks Ajax came home
everythign was up in the air with chaos

but when u get into a routine it's a piece of cake

honestly new things will cause some chaos
but once u get into it , it'll be liek routine liek u brush your teeth everyday

[birdlady49]

Babypiggy, no offense, but Ajax is less than a year old. He is still a baby and, as such, still obeys you most of the time. I hope that behavior continues into old age, but I doubt it. There will come a time when he'll test you to see how much he can get away with. That's when your research and training about Greys will come in handy. So don't stop reading!