HELP, please...long post.

[Karol]

Hi Everyone,

I would like to pick the brain of experienced Grey people on my situation. OK, I adopted Sedrick January 6th so I have had him for a little over 5 weeks.

I feed him, care for the cage, give him treats, make him oatmeal and broccoli, etc...You get the idea. My husband does nothing for Sedrick.

Sedrick is really female but his original owner obviously did not know that when he got him. Also, the original owner is a male who had him for 20 years. Sedrick will be 21 y/o this July.

With all of this said, Sedrick has bonded to my husband and not really much with me at all. My husband has been home everyday recovering from surgery and is going back to work next Monday.

I am wondering if Sedrick will learn to bond more with me once hubby is not here all day long? Last week I was putting new food in his bowl and totally un announced Sedrick bit me. I thought I saw stars and almost landed in the ER.

I still can not believe the bird did this. It was so un-prevoked on my part. Sedrick will let my hubby scratch him and will step up for him anytime.

Sedrick will only step up for me if he flys to the floor. When he does this I make it my opportunity to sit down with him, place him on my lap and talk with him. He will allow me to do this but really is hesitant, you can just tell.

With my husband he snuggles with him and just wants scritches all of the time.

I just don't get it.

Any wisdom or helpful insight into why my CAG is doing this would be much appreciated.

Also, one last thing. In a bird store you will see many CAG together in cages. Why wouldn't I be able to get a baby Grey and eventually house them together once the baby matured???

I hope your all well and Thank you in advance to who ever responds to this post.

[kensbuns]

Well let me tell you, Greys choose who they like and who they dont. And they can be very cage territorial. So you ask will it get better, it could or maybe it wont. This is a kind of wait and see situation.

[Tullysmom]

Hi Karol! First, you may or may not be able to get Sedrick to like another Grey. I wouldn't hold your breathe though. Chances are no, but you never can tell really. My Tully will not tolerate another bird. Period. But I too have seen Greys get along fantastic with other Greys. So it's a crap shoot really.

Tully also loves me to death and he's not to fond of the husband. He will let hubby pick him up off of the floor also, it actually took him months to let him do that. Tully will not fly to him or let him snuggle with him. However...he has gotten alot better with Larry. Just recently he will perch on his knee just as long as Larry doesn't try to touch him or look at him. And that took....oh...about five months. So don't lose heart. Sedrick will come around. She may never let you snuggle with her, but she'll more then likely get to a point where she doesn't want to rip your face off. Hopefully. It just takes time and lots and lots of it. Don't push her. If you do you'll step backward in a hurry. I would also do a whole lot of talking and maybe reading to her. Just sit next to her cage and read out loud. You might see result right away or it may take longer then you want, but just let her come to you. Hope this helps a little. I wish you mucho grande luck! She'll be worth the wait. But I'll keep my fingers crossed for you anyway!

[Karol]

Vicki,

Thanks for your reply. One thing I can tell you is all I do is talk to her.

My husband does not say anything ever to her and she loves him.

Me, I talk to her all day long. It has not seemed to make a difference.

[dancyn56]

Hi Karol, It's all territorial. I can tell you that I have a Timneh African Grey. He was of the same demeanor as your bird, although a smaller cousin, bonded right away to my hubby and tried to amputate my fingers. I have now had Ralphie for almost 3 years and now he is becoming a sweet little boy although I know it will take more time for him to accept me as freely as he does my husband. First, he was a wild captured bird back in the early 70's. He did not look at the hand as a friend since one had "kidnapped" him from his family. Second, he was owned by a man, so he bonded with another man. (The family who owned him prior to my adoption of him had him in the cage, in the kitchen, between the wall and the refrigerator, with a shelf on top and they never covered him at night. He had 26 years of issues to get over after I rescued him, and it was truly a rescue. His cage wasn't cleaned properly and his food was poured in from the top as well as his water. I had no intention of owning another pet since I have a heart condition, but when I saw the condition of his environment, I had to save him. His cage had not been cleaned in months, there was poo at least 8" high in it and that is no joke. His bowl were dirty and he had no toys. They told me"if he bites, just hit him", so you can only guess how he was treated.) After I learned he was a captured bird, which also was not a positive experience for him I'm sure, I decided that I wild tiger will only have the instinct of a wild tiger and this bird was not too much different in that area. I had to earn his trust. The first thing I did, aside from cleaning his cage, was give him his freedom as much as I could. I put all kinds of perches, one at a time since we was so freaked out by even one. Now he has a calcium perch, 3 wooden perches and a coconut shell on the end of a perch. This took several months of building until he was comfortable. He lives in a square tree now. There is paper on the floor under the stand of the cage since he only goes in to eat, drink or sleep, which he does at 10PM every night and he loves his blanket. Inside the cage I introduced many toys, pieces of coragated cardboard about 1" X 3", popcicle sticks,seed sticks, etc. to chew on and get those agressions out. We have a shower perch for him that sticks to the wall in the shower, when we go in, so does he on his demand. Well in the first week, I took a suit rack, knocked the top off and put a tray across the bars, added an apple branch and he had a great portable stand that goes all over the house now. I think all of this has helped as well as letting him explore his world on the floor with supervision. When he got under the chairs that had skirts, he would stay for hours, and in this space that was neutral territory, he would let me pet him. So I can tell you to find that "neutral space" in your home, it might help. Keep thinking positive thoughts when you are near him, if you think he will bite, he will. They are very perceptive to almost being telepathic. Imagine he is a great little guy and your friend and eventually, he will be. Now Ralphie still bites, but not to break the skin, but to let you know he still means business. He lets me pet him through the cage but not outside of it very often. I ask if I can pet him, he will either bow his head or shake it in a NO fashon. He has taken 3 years to get to this stage but I know he will keep progressing into the wonderful little fellow he has the ability of becoming. It's a day by day thing, never yell at the bird if he bites, firmly say NO BITING and turn your back on him or cover him up. Don't hit him, the birds have hollow bones and they break very easily. If you want to ask any questions of me, just write. Cyndi

[Cindy215]

I dont agree with the advise to cover him up and I dont see anything about territorial really. Yes birds can get territorial with their homes but this extends out of the cage, too. They are going to pick a favorite person frequently and there's no logic really to it.

Covering thinking it's training is bad because birds hormones are regulated by the pituitary gland a sensor in the brain. That sensor is totally telling the bird what time of day and what time of year it is. Depriving light on and off will mess this up and cause more physical confusion that the bird cant cope with.

Also this poor bird is just confused, lost in a new place and trying to make some relationship so he's chosen the man of the house and it's going to take some time for him to really be "himself". Normally it takes alot longer than a month.

I would approach it first by making sure he is getting a good night dark sleep. In a dark room on a definite predictable schedule. An overtired or hormonal bird is cranky and not predictable and too long a day leads to hormonal behaviors.

I'm going to cut an paste what I wrote for another hormonal bird person, to make sure that you cover that situation first. A bird in breeding mode in the winter in Northern Hemisphere is in hormonal imbalance. So you have more aggressive behaviors and mating desires coming out. All the things may or may not apply but they are all good for birds.

Since this is a Grey and rehomed too, I wouldn't be changing out toys and moving the cage around the house like I wrote in this post below. Greys are different and dont take to alot of change even one new toy can take awhile for them to not be afraid of it. Also cage placement is important to them so I'd leave his cage be. It needs to be one side at least against a wall preferably a corner for security, versus sticking out in the open of a room.

So please consider following these tips which all birds can benefit from even if they have "good" behavior. Then you have a good baseline to deal with the other behaviours after that.

Here's the standard "breeding behaviors" advise I posted earlier to someone else I'm posting it in full so you get the whole picture but ignore the changing of the cage stuff in his case...:

QUOTE:
It's not breeding season in the Northern Hemisphere so your bird is having a hormonal imbalance. That comes from the days being too long like simulating spring/summer.

If you follow a strict natural daylight schedule including dawn and dusk this wont happen. No artificial lights after about 3 pm. She needs to go to sleep in a darkish room, no human interruptions like tv, radio, computers , people talking etc. A cover really doesnt cut it. They have a sensor in the brain (pituitary gland) regulated by light that controls the hormones telling the body what "time of year it is". Thats how they make chickens lay eggs 24/7 in factory farms by leaving lights on all the time. Then they die about age 3.

Right now in Pa, my birds go to sleep at about 5:40 pm and wake up about 7 am EST.

You can simulate with a dimmer in a small lamp placed on the floor (to simulate the angle of the sun) but it's trickier. Walmart sells a dimmer you screw in where the bulb goes and has a dial to turn it down, down, then off. The ones you tap arent right they only have three options. You need to dim about 15-30 minutes before you want her to start dosing off and she needs to be in place in her cage at that time. You'll know she's ready because she will start beak grinding.

So essentially follow the light schedule that is going on in your state at all times of year. For people in extreme climates like Alaska you have to adjust I never had a bird there, though.

Also decrease protein (including seeds), and vitamin e, and raise the greens and veggies.

Also no stroking beaks, feet, back or butts. That's a mating signal.

Dont allow her to "nest" in dark spots like behind pillows, in shirts, in drawers, bookcases, under toekicks of the kitchen cabinets, in closets etc.

Move her around to brightly lit spots all day, encourage her AWAY from her cage (nest), get her to fly around and find enrichment to do not focus all day long on her hormonal urges.

Change the inside of the cage around, change toys, perches, swap food and water bowls etc. These things are subliminal messages that it's not a "safe" nest.

All these things together will work to snap her hormones back into place but the lighting is number one. It can take a couple of weeks usually. Some people report an immediate response in a week it depends on the bird. Then when it's "really" breeding season, she'll have an easier time of it. I don't know her age but it will be a yearly thing in breeding season so you want to minimize her anxiety all year long so it's only a mild deal every year not something she is fighting all year long. Especially now since it's winter.
ENDQUOTE

[dancyn56]

I wasn't trying to imply that the bird should be left covered up for long periods after biting. Only for a short time if you can't get out of the sight of the bird. It is bird behavior that turning and ignoring the offending party works, I have read many parrot books due to the nature of my biting friend and it has worked for me. as I said about the toys and perches, they were introduced slowly, you have to build trust.

[Karol]

Wow, some great advice here and I thank you both.

The cage is in a corner so 2 sides are up against a wall.

Very secure.

I do give lots of broccoli................LOVES broccoli.

Apples too.

I guess I just need to give it time, more time.

[Copper]

Something else to consider for the bird is that even if the cage came with, this is a totally new enviornment, and this is a new flock. Your hubby represents the 'stability' that he/she had in the last flock, so would want to imprint on who is perceived as the new flock leader.
One way to do this is just sitting next to the cage with the door open, and a hand laying on the door, not trying to touch or hinder the new member from coming or going.
Read aloud. It doesn't matter if it's the sports page or a comic book. It's the tone of voice, the inflection, the manner that it's read. Keep it calm, make it inquisative, encouraging.
A favored treat that can only be gotten from your hand, and allow the bird to come to you, don't take it to him.
Eating together is also a good way to encourage behaviour. In the wild, feeding time is bonding time. If you are eating something, offer a bit of the same fruit/veggie to him. Pick a neutral place like the kitchen table. Set a plate for him, and offer tidbits to him from there, not off your plate.
It will take time, but it's worth the effort when you have a gray that not only is interested in you, but in being a part of the flock.
Good luck!

[dancyn56]

Hi Karol, I was just thinking about 2 little books that aren't too expensive that might give you a lot of help. I kept mine on the coffee table until I almost knew them by heart. They are by "Barron's Publishers". The first one is African Grey Parrots,was about $8 and has 94 pages of great beginner info as well as first aid. The second is Guide to a Well-Behaved Parrot,was about $13 and has 143 pages of helpful information and little scenarios to give you an idea of certain situations. I think you will find them useful to you and your new family member. Check them out.