I have failed...

[JThw8]

This is terribly hard to write, but somehow I feel I must, if for no other reason than to help educate others and confess my wrongdoings.

Where to begin. In my home were 2 parrots, george and greycie. George was a rescued Senegal whom I got after my dear Maggie (amazon) passed away at an age between 50 and 60 (exact age unknown as she was a rescue) Greycie is my wifes Timneh Grey whom we purchased as a baby. This post is about George.

George was the definition of unconditional love, he loved me not matter what, if I was late he would wait up to say "Hi, how was your day" Even if he wanted to spend more time with me he would go to his cage at night and tell me "night night, love you" He was a brilliant little guy and I failed him in the most basic ways.

Today was a rush, on so many levels. All I can figure is I didnt latch his feeding dishes correctly, or he finally figured out the latches. I came home from work to be greeted with his usual cheer. I let my dogs out and then had to run back out. When Im gone the dogs are corralled in a separate part of the house. But I was only going out for a few minutes. I let them be, I wish to god I could go back and change that. George got out. When I came home to a mess on the carpet I thought another dog toy had been destroyed...then I saw it was feathers. I was frantic, I tore the house apart when I saw george wasnt in his cage. Unfortunately I found him. I wont give the details that I and I alone will have to relive in my mind for the rest of my life but george is no longer with me. He gave me unconditional love and relied on me to keep him safe and I have failed him. The passing of my maggie was at least bearable in that she lived a long life and died of natural causes. I have failed george and will find it hard to forgive myself for that failure.

Im in a daze, Im a mess, and I dont know what to do. Even my greycie seems noticably shaken as she witnessed the horror. I dont know how to make this right or make the anger/pain/sadness go away.

Please, safeguard your fildren at all times...assume nothing....I will pay for the rest of my life for assuming all was well.

[Lindy1724]

I am so sorry for your loss! I cannot even begin to imagine the pain which you are probably feeling right now! But rest assured that George knew how much you loved him and he was lucky to have you while he did as were you! Sending {{{BIG HUGS}}} and God bless!

[ParrotletLover]

Oh my God, that's so heartbreaking! I'm so, so sorry to hear what happened. But please, don't say you failed. You didn't. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone has a specific time to go. It may be hard to see it now, but you are not at fault. It was George's time. He lived a very happy life with you. And he is always with you. Again, I am so, so sorry to hear of your loss.

[MiniMacMum]

You are also in my thoughts. I can't imagine the pain you feel right now. I am sooo sorry.

[JThw8]

thank you all, I wish I could really express how I feel. I cant go to bed, I cant sleep. I have never had any person, dog, cat, or bird who so unconditionally loved and trusted me, he was an amazing little bird and I....well I dont know, I just didnt do enough...most of the night I have been angry, with myself, with the dog, but now I just hurt, I just realize what the poor little guy went through and how much I truly looked forward to him being there for me no matter what, no matter how crappy my day went he always had a cheerful greeting and just wanted nothing more than to be with me....

[Kateykat]

OMG! I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure that George is somewhere watching over you. I am so genuinely sorry for you.

[Emily]

the loss of Morgan my Cag last weekI hope you eventually find peace. Cry to let it out, grieve, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Emily

[The Outlaw]

We sometimes have to learn the hardest lessens. I too cannot imagine your grief and horror. I have a dog here and I watch her like a hawk. She is very good with my birds, unbelievably so, but I trust NO dog when I'm not within arms reach of my birds. She is 8 years old and will be my LAST dog. I think at some point, we simply have to chose: dog, cats OR birds. I know that most folks don't agree and that's their choice. I prefer to live with less mess, smell and drama. Between dog hair, barking, flea treatments, etc. I've just grown tired of it.

Animals are hardwired to behave in predictable and unpredictable ways. We shouldn't HAVE to re-think every single thing we do to live in our own homes. I can still remember a post I read 5 years ago on TEC. A couple had gone to midnight mass on Christmas Eve. When they returned to their home, they noticed a dark spot on their carpet. When they turned on the light, they found BOTH of their ekkies, decapitated on the carpet. It seems their schnauzers got out of the bedroom, overturned the bird cages and killed the birds. They had never even shown any interest in the birds before. No matter how you cut it, even a large bird is no match even with a small dog.

You didn't fail, but your dog can NEVER again be trusted around any bird. I'm so very sorry for your loss. What a nightmare.

[Skyebirdsmom]

Originally Posted by Kateykat

OMG! I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure that George is somewhere watching over you. I am so genuinely sorry for you.

[COLOR=Blue]Please don't beat yourself up over this, you know George loves you and forgives you, knows it wasn't your fault. It was just 'one of those things'. I have no words of comfort, I'd just hug you if I could. I'm so sorry, it sounds so lame, but they are the only words I know to say to you. It's coming from my heart. I know how I'd feel if it were me, but, I have had a bird die because of my ignorance. I beat myself up for many mos. till I realised there really was nothing I could do. It just happened. I know Baby loves me still as George loves you!
I pray for hearts-ease for you ((((())))))'s.
Linda & Skye~ [/COLOR]

[LivingFiction]

Well I can tell you at least one positive thing to come from this horrible tragedy.

As long as I've had Feo, Hurley has shown a keen interest in him. We've let them close to each other, but never close enough to touch. Reading their body language I just don't trust their intentions. The spend all day every day in the same room. They seem to care for one another, at least in a brotherly sort of way where they are aware of each other and what is going on. Often I'll play with Feo on the living room floor, and Jenny will have Hurley up on the couch. Hurley makes constant effort to get to the floor. Once he got down there and they both made a B-line for each other. I stopped them, but it made me think, maybe they just need to become aquainted, maybe it's not aggression. Hurley growls at people he doesn't know or like, but he never growls at Feo. Maybe I just need to let them establish a pecking order and become friends...

But after reading your story, I am convinced that the risk is too great for any potential reward. Feo could kill Hurley and not even realize he had done it. That would break our hearts. I've had a dog kill one of my love birds, and the tragedy was substantial. Not only did I lose my little friend, but it took years for my relationship with the dog to recover as well.

My thoughts are with you and yours at this difficult time. Please don't beat yourself up, you couldn't possibly have known.