Please Help A Desperate Person In Need.

[HomerMAC]

Hello to everyone on this website. I want to thank all that read this thread and or help out in any way in advance.

My name is Abraham and I have an African Gray.

My father took care of our african gray for almost 7 years. My father was able to carry her on his hands and take out of the cage etc. without any problems.
During these 7 years my father was also fighting cancer and in december 2007 he passed away. During the few weeks after his passing I noticed that our parrot was very quiet, didn't eat and was just not being herself.

I never really interacted much with her when my father was with us because I was busy with school and other obligations. Now I feel that was a mistake as she is the last real living memory of my father (she can reproduce his voice so well). I know my father
would be upset is something were to happen to her as a result of neglect.
I want to really take care of her and really make a life long friend of her.

as of now here is the situation.

She is tempermental, throws around everything in her cage, when i reach for her she snaps at my finger. once in a while she lets me pet her head, but i always have the fear that shes gonna bite me when i let my guard down.


How can i earn her trust? what are some great toys for her?

My dad used to let her walk around the house with him and just really hang out all the time. I want to give her that back to some degree before she starts mutilating herself as people claim they do.

I really plan on becoming an active member of this forum to learn from those of you who are experienced. I am a sponge ready to absorb the knowledge about the bird world.

THANK YOU ALL ONCE AGAIN

[my-africangrey-echo]

I am so sorry for your loss.

She is grieving for him too. So give her time and lots of attention it may take several weeks before you see a difference but if you just start out by talking to her every day and spend the needed time with her she will come around. Just try to keep things as consistent as your dad did and let her come to you when she is ready.. But don't let yourself get discouraged time will heal her too..

[HomerMAC]

^^^Thank You for your kind words.. ^^^

I know I can't spend as much time with her as my dad did but i want to give her anything else that can keep her occupied instead of being bored. I really want to get her out of the cage but im afraid she'll destroy the house with her temper. Is there a safe way i can introduce her back to the freedom she once had of leaving her cage etc.?

[catschair]

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure you and the gray are both still hurting, but there are plenty of folks here who can help you slowly win her over. It will take time and patience, but will be rewarding for you both. Hang in there!

[Valo's Moirana]

i too am sorry for your loss.... though i can't help you as i'm lacking the experience with greys, we have very knowledgeable people here who are happy to share their thoughts *looking for lisa*

[rockybird]

Hang in there HomerMac. Birds grieve, like humans, so she will take some time to accept his absence. She will also need to learn to trust you. I dont have an African Grey, but one thing my conure and caique really respond to is me talking to them in a nice tone of voice. I would talk soothingly to her often. Feed her treats through the cage bars. Can you open the cage door to let her crawl out, or do you not feel comfortable putting her back in? Try to be near her as much as possible, even if it is sitting at a table or couch near her while you work/watch TV etc. Parrots are very intelligent, so you are wise to invest in toys. I'm not sure what African Greys like, but someone will doubtless offer advice. You will have to be patient, but I bet she will come around eventually. In the long run, I bet you will be the best person for this bird. She needs you as much as you need her.

[Tobysmom]

im so sorry for your loss its not easy when you both are greiving at the same time i have a grey but lisab is the expert which she will be around soon ...

[huntress]

You came to the right place. She was bonded to your father as she would a mate and only time will heal her. Likewas said before, learn all you can and hang out here. Once you learn all about African Greys you will know her immediate needs and over time she will learn to trust you. Keep her cage in a location as close to your daily activities as possible without overwhelming her and preferrably against a wall for security behind her. Talk to her, feed her and begin to see if she will take treats through the bars from your hands. It could take even a few years to earn her trust - its a grey thing. But in the meantime,learn all you can about the species, where it comes from , and its needs. Purchese toys that are designed for birds with wood, leather, and other textures for natural chewing - If you get yourself a Doctors foster and Smith catalog (even if you dont buy from them) they have a way of showing and explaining toys and indicating which birds they might be good for.

[Lisa B]

Hi Abraham. I am sorry to hear of your dads passing.
We have something in common. My dad left this earth in June of 2004. His pride and joy, even more so than his children, was his greys.
Stirling is now my pride and joy as well.

I know your exact thoughts and feelings on this subject. Stirling still calls me in my fathers voice. At first it threw me for a loop. Now it is some sort of comfort.
My dad had Stirling since the early 1990's. I regarded Stirling more as a sybling because of my dads deep love for him. I respect the fact that Stirling is not as touchy as my other greys that I have had since babies. Stirling has learned Sooooo much in his time with me, and for the first time in his life, is fully feathered. He plucked for so long, because my dad was ill for a long time.
Stirling watches Emma get cradled like a baby and wants the same. He loves when I sing to him, and when we do goofy stuff like dance. He never had that before.


As far as your grey(what her name?) She is grieving now, just like a human would. She doesnt understand where her daddy went either. Her actions are normal for her. She is frustrated and scared.
She needs time to go through this process, as we all do.
My suggestions are to sit by her cage and talk calmly to her. Greys are exceptional at reading people. She will react to your emotions. Ifyou are hyper, she will be too. If you are aggressive, you will get that right back.
Right now, she might be a bit more on the aggressive side, because of her nervousness.

Greys are also noted for the "old bait and switch". meaning, oh pet me, and then chomp. the only way to avoid that is to learn to read her body language and eyes. Its a game for them...

One toy all my greys love is by Bird Toys by Grey Feather Toy Creations. Parrot Swings, Bird Boings, Bird Toy Parts, Bird Play Gyms, Natural Parrot Food, Stainless Steel Hardware, Oxine, Bulk Toy Parts & More!
its called the "tweedle". its a small toy, but makes noise. My guys love to beat on them and listen to the noise. Greys also seem to like the pinatas. I am saying they are by fosters and smith tho I know they are not...thats just where I get them. I will attach a pic of both of the mentioned toys so you know what they look like.

As far as letting her roam the house. Its better if there is some structured rules to follow. with all this change...she will need a safe place to call her own, and a nice cage is the perfect spot. you can get a portable t-stand so she can go with you into different rooms, But having free roam on the floor is going to end up with problems. There are alot of dangers. Electrical cords, cabinets to get stuck under. Furniture to chew on. Places to poop.

First thing you have to do tho, is let her get through the grieving process, and gain her trust. Its not an overnight process. It can take months or even years. The important thing is to not give up. Once you are able to form the bond, it will be one you will treasure for the rest of your life.

I miss my dad dearly, I also know he is very happy that the babies he cared for so much in life, are being taken care of after his death.

I'm here to walk you through this. Dont hesitate to contact me with any questions or conserns you might have.

1. Emma with her pinata
2. Sydney with the Tweedle
3. Stirling eating his breakfast
4. Stirling on his boing.
5. Stirling up close

[HomerMAC]

^^^^^^^^^Thank you for your kind words.^^^^^^^^^
I think I found my fountain of knowledge in you. Thank you for all your great advice.
It doesnt matter how long it takes but long as she and I can co-exist I will be happy.
Im gonna look into some of the toys. and i found a little bird gym.

I call her Sweety and my dad called her an Indian (From the country India) name which i really dont know how to write in english.

Now my main concern is her health. Her talons (correct me if wrong) are getting a bit big. I would like to know how i should get that taken care of. What about baths? can she just hop into the shower? (without water in tub)
Also she has a rock in the cage which i believe she uses for her beak. I want to get a new one. is there any particualr kind i should get?

Also shes doing something with her feathers.. like shes biting it or somethign like that and then shaker her wings a bit.

Also what about music? I like Bob Marley alot. I feel its calming. Would that kind of music be helpful.

What would be optimal temprature for her? and also when we go outside what kinds of tempratures are good for her?

Im sorry for all the questions. I just want to make her comfortable as soon as possible... and let her finish a normal life cycle { have babies = ) } etc.



EDIT: so i opened up her cage with all the doors and hazardous items away in a room with not many objects.. so she can come out and i sat with her while i was on these forums.. and after about 20-30 mins she climbed out. and sat on top of the cage.. and just kept doing the feather thing.