A typical day at the Outlaw's

[The Outlaw]

The sun is awakened by the sounds of 10 hungry birds. It and I crawl out of bed and greet the day. In response, Taco, my zon starts whistling the marching song from "Bridge Over the River Kwai" and I collect bowls and tell everyone good morning. I trip over the dog who is sucking up debris from under and around cages and wonder why in the world I even own 7 vacuum cleaners.

I unload whatever junk has accumulated on the service cart and replace it with dirty food bowls. Its then I remember that I should've probably visited the bathroom first and make a mad dash. Timing is everything, after all. I proceed to the kitchen and place whatever dishes Will has left out from late night snacks our impromptu breakfast and clean out the bird dishes. I look in the fridge for whatever I think they'd like and start preparing breakfast. Its omelet day, so I'm chopping up bell peppers and chilis and whisking eggs for 10 birds. While my pan heats it occurs to me I need caffiene NOW and opt for a tall glass of iced tea. Its faster than coffee and I'm totally addicted anyway.

I cut whole wheat bread into cubes and toss that in the omelet and set it out in the Florida room a few minutes to cool down while I once again visit the bathroom to eliminate the tall glass of iced tea I had to have. The cold air didn't help THAT one bit.

By now, the kids are exchanging all kinds of words and noises just because its fun. Chi Chi is usually screeching because he apparently likes to hear both greys yell at him saying "CHI CHI, BAD BIRD". I contemplate where they could POSSIBLY have picked that up.

Retrieving the eggs from the Florida room, I now turn on the space heater for there and proceed back to the bird room. I am greeted by lots of UUUMMMMS and "s'at good"s from the BGs. The Fabulous Margarita really likes to say that a lot. I serve up breakfast and the house is quiet for about 20 minutes. I return with fresh water dishes and everyone has fun making soup.

On GOOD days, I catch a shower and brush my teeth now. On MOST days I'm lucky to get my teeth cleaned by noon and the shower is usually pretty crowded until 12:30. My birds love their shower! I prefer it less icy, so I do them first and let them drip dry. I now do 5 birds every other day.

Dragging out the shop vac, I get the really messy stuff up and check on the temp in the Florida room. If its warm enough, they are carried out in groups of 4 and deposited in play cages and bird gyms.

This is a lot like the fox, corn and duck joke. One has to know whom to take with what and what to take back with whom. Its an art. IF all of the planets are in proper alignment, I can grab one hour of productive time at this point. However, they rarely ARE in line, so the phone will usually start ringing right about now.

Anyone having children or parrots will affirm that a ringing phone is nothing more than an invitation for birds to party like its 1999. This is also the international "coast is clear" code for getting down off of playstands and exploring.

Before the invention of the telephone, parrot owners had a shot at keeping things under control. I refer to that era as the good old days. Now, I just keep a camera handy for the forensic evidence from the scene of the crime.

I know of some people who actually know what's on tv during the day. I have come to think of my computer monitor as my tv so I just pretend I'm watching something really interesting.

I make sure that everyone gets a fun snack. It usually has to do with fruit and here lately, rice cakes. They seem to be fun to eat. I used to string up bagels for them to destroy. I suggest you get the day old ones for they last more than 2 minutes.

If I put make up on, they all get very suspicious. They know that everyones going into lockdown for a while. I make it a point to be gone at least one hour every day. Its healthy for all concerned to spend some time AWAY from each other.

When I return, the go back to the playroom and I clean cages. On really cold days, like today, they have to stay in the birdroom. I must then attempt to clean cages with my helpers. Its a total nightmare and I usually get a lot of heiny pinches and the occasional hair pull. In many ways its like a trip to Italy.

Here is where I should insert a nap. Of course, who has time. I do laundry all day long and usually sit down and fold clothes. By now they have dismantled MOST of the hardware on the cages, so I have to find my glasses and screwdriver and locate the stray latches. The whole time I am overseen by the macaws. They live for this stuff. I cannot, of course, EVER lay the screwdriver down anywhere for it has been used against me in the past.

At 3:30, I can stand it no more. Everyone returns to cages and has a few nuts as I start preparing dinner. While it cooks I run the regular vac around the public areas of the house. The private areas are too private to vacuum, or so you'd think, for I rarely get a chance to visit them. In fact since I never vacation anymore, I just may go there FOR vacation one day.

4:00 delivers dinner to 10 FAMISHED birds. They happily discuss the sports and politics of the day and tell each other I love you or sometimes make threatening statements such as "Ah, ah ah, bad bird!" Dreamer sings a few sea chanties (Popeye is his favorite) and everyone sings their parts.

By 5 I make sure that I did get my shower and see how much longer I can live without a good leg and pit shave. IF I'm in the "time to braid stage" I grab a shower and take care of that. I usually am cooking human dinner with a wet towel wrapped around my head and an oversized sweatshirt covering the really essential areas of my body. I am, of course, bare foot. When I was young and thin, this was great. Now, its pretty frightening for all but my closest family members.

After 6 THEY ARE ALL HAPPILY SLEEPING IN THEIR CAGES. This is the time of night I reflect on how different my life is. Since I got my first parrot I have never again been bored. I don't have time.

THE OUTLAW
__________________
A bird is the only pet that will ever tell you I love you.

[Kevin]

Wheres the cliff notes version or the audio book version?

heheehe

[Lungfish]

I too have a couple of dogs that love to snack on bird debris. Why, I don't know? :icon_eek:

[jessicaboyer89]

That was a very fun read Nancy! Sounds like your place is a blast...LOL on the shaving (or lack thereof)! Your birds are pretty lucky to have you. (But you already know that). :icon_mrgr

[Doug W]

Dear Outlaw aka Nancy:

My husband and I had a good laugh over your post! You must have so much fun with your Feathered Friends!

Our dog does the same thing. She actually begs for food from the bird. It is the funniest thing to watch.

Thanks for the great post! By the way, the hubby and I decided to get a Blue and Gold. One found him, now it is time to see if he/she likes Mommy :icon_smil. We will keep you posted.

[kathyellen]

Thanks for sharing Nancy, I loved reading a day in your life. Birds are amazing, and these are very lucky to have you! :eusa_clap

[David S]

What a great post :eusa_clap

[Skyebirdsmom]

[font=Times New Roman][size=7][color=Blue]
Great post Nancy...I'd love to be a fly on a wall in your house and just watch the antics day by day!!! No, I change my mind, if I were a fly, one of your birds would eat me, LOL.
You really need to keep a daily journal and then turn it into a book. What hilarious reading for bird people. We can all relate :) like the butt pinches and hair pulling? Ohhhh yeah, I remember my Quakers doing that to me all the time :icon_smil
Linda & HRC~
OK, Nancy, PLEASE tell me how to make the Font, Size and Color work on here instead of just being added to my post? I'm exhausted trying to find out how to make it work.
Don't laugh either, LOL.

[The Outlaw]

Linda:

We not longer have that option. We did before, but I think it was too complicated for the masses. To insert a picture, however, simply scroll down beyond the message box once you've typed your message. Go until you come to Additional Options. Keep going until you see Manage Attachments. Click the button and a browser will open. Select your photo and then upload it. In a few seconds, you'll see that its been added and you close that window. Then, hit submit and be amazed at just how easy that really was.

THE OUTLAW

[Sophiestkated2]

Nanthee, you have convinced me.
I will never be a stay at home bird mom! Working is so much easier!
I will continue to work, let the bird unlock and sneak out of his house when we leave and let the dogs in. Where they will all dirty the house with feathers, dander and fur. Ollie will leave me surprise poops, and they will all watch the Jerry Springer show to learn the really good tricks, until 15 minutes before I get home, when Olllie will put the dogs back outside, and climb back into his house and lock his door.
There's NO WAY I wanna stay home with THAT!!!
heehee!
Jethica
(PS, I loved the part about vacationing in the rooms you never get to anymore! giggle-snort!)