Advice for Inconsiderate Spouse?

[ScottJ]

Originally Posted by TJ Relic

My hubby doesn't believe having the TV on at night is going to disturb my little guy's sleep. Its driving me up the wall that he's being so inconsiderate! I've compiled pretty much every resource and of course they all say 10 hours of quiet and dark sleep is the minimum. Hubby insists that "birds in the wild live in the jungle where its always loud." Nonsense. Of course its never silent because that means there is danger close by, but they certainly don't have TV flickering and shows with explosions and yelling. The TV didn't go off tonight until 11pm.

I know this just sounds like a guy supporting a guy, but it's not. I love my birds, but enforcing a completely silent living area to ensure that your bird gets proper sleep is a bit extreme.

The sleep cage in the bedroom is a good idea and certainly will give the bird a less busy environment. Covering the cage is a good idea, and many birds actually like being covered at night as it makes them feel safer. The light is more of an issue than the noise, in my experience. My birds have slept through the TV equivalent of all-out nuclear war without so much as a feather flip.

Yeah, the sound system might be a bit much. :)

Scott

[parrotntn]

This is not a guy supporting a guy, this is a man supporting the sanctity of marriage.
My wife and I have been married for 24 very quick and wonderful years. Sometimes small things, when we look back now, do not matter. Sometimes it was just the point that we got our way. We bit our nose off to spite our face. There are tough decisions to make in any relationship, be it man/wife/friend.
For instance, me and the kids would LOVE to have an inside dog. My wife won’t hear of it. It can give her some sneezing problems, but she is dead set on not having one inside and I respect that. I don’t like it, but I respect it. This is her house as well. Every now and then, we get frustrated with each other over stuff, but we work it out, because we are married, unconditionally, for life.
All I can say, as a man, if I had to make a choice between her and ANYTHING else at all, I'd have to consider where the preacher put the ring 24 years ago. It wasn't on a paw, a claw or someone else. It was on my partner in life's finger. She’s the one who had our children, she’s the one who is always there, no matter if it’s mating season or not, the cage is covered, or her food is fresh. She’s the one who gives me driving directions. She’s the one who supports me when I get frustrated with Baby. She’s the one who helps the kids with complicated math problems, because….all of this because she is my wife and I am her husband.
I cannot imagine there ever being a choice, if there were..I’m going to choose my life partner, no matter what.
There is often discussion on here that supports the theory that you should really consider the needs and maintenance of a bird before you get it. That’s true.
That theory also holds true about the human being that we take for better or worse, or until death do us part. I have a lot of friends who didn’t take it seriously, didn’t prioritize their responsibility, didn’t take responsibility of the marriage, made bad choices and now…..
they are rehomed humans.
Good luck,
Mark

[TJ Relic]

Originally Posted by Tinna

On another note they sleep and play through out the day and some birds are easier going. I never cover Jean's cage, I'm up from 10AM until 3AM in the morning every day. The TV's always on for him unless we're sleeping etc. Maybe we're over reacting a bit by thinking it has to be a must to have a cave covered or worry about us walking by the cage. Unless your animal's high strung I can't see it being detrimental and the bird will let you know when it doesn't like it. So if Hubby's not being excessive with the noise it should be just fine to leave em in the room or if the TV has to be on with the light then cover the cage but the bird will ignore the volume eventually. He'll pluck or become irritable if he doesn't like it. You've had your bird long enough I know it's always good to err on the side of caution but your bird can be a big boy/girl and handle some of the stuff we worry about on it's own.

I really have to take issue with this. I will not put my bird through something that I know might cause it distress until it becomes destructive to its own body. I work to prevent such behavior. Having a bird that plucks isn't abuse, but using that as the minimum before you do what's right for them is.

The issue was that the volume was excessive, not that the tv was on at all. I said he was playing a DVD with the surround sound when he could have watched on his laptop with headphones. I do watch TV after the bird's bedtime, but it is low volume and I am making a better cover than the sheet we use now.

For those of you who still feel the need to analyze our relationship based on a single incident, my husband apologized the next day for "being such a jerk last night." His own words, without prompting, without me being mad about it. I was upset for all of 2 hours and moved on to a healthier path of looking for solutions. Everyone please drop the marriage angle, because I have learned my lesson about being specific in this forum.

[Valo's Moirana]

i hear you - some people around here are very quick to judge and have very "special" opinions.

i think you have the right idea there... i too watch tv after the birds bed-time but it's low volume and i try not to disturb them too much, which of course is not always guaranteed.

you might want to consider a sleep cage as a back-up.... maybe have the bird sleep in it once a week to get and keep used to it, and if your hubby wants to watch a dvd with full sound, the birdie can go to the sleep cage to sleep there for that night. IMO that would be a potential compromise for all parties....

regarding tinna's comment - i absolutely agree with your opinion. i wouldn't wait either until my bird plucks before i'd change something, but then - i'd also bring them to the vet if i'm unsure about their health.

[Tiki]

Originally Posted by Sally

12 hours of quiet sleep is important. I have not been in the jungle, but I bet the animals sleep and do not stay up all night and make noise. When the sun goes down, birds find a place to sleep. We all have to have sleep for our health.

I just got back from the jungle. It is not noisy at night, just cricket and insect sounds. Wild parrots sleep from sunset to sunrise.

[TJ Relic]

Originally Posted by Valo's Moirana

you might want to consider a sleep cage as a back-up.... maybe have the bird sleep in it once a week to get and keep used to it, and if your hubby wants to watch a dvd with full sound, the birdie can go to the sleep cage to sleep there for that night. IMO that would be a potential compromise for all parties....

THAT is exactly the kind of good idea I was looking for! Thank you so much!

[TJ Relic]

Wow Tiki, that must have been one heck of a dream come true! Thanks for the tidbit too.

[Tiki]

Ooops, sorry! Wrong link! Here is the right one to see the pics.

Travel Blog: In Search of Wild Parrots 2007 Tahiti-Easter Island-Peru-Brazil-New York-London-Tokyo

[TJ Relic]

The first link was okay, just a little hard to find the pictures but I did it. The one titled "Chico in flight" was just a little scary! The rest is really neat and I was surprised how friendly they are. I guess its just like any native bird in a tourist area, they learn that people areas are good places to get food.

[Sally]

TIKI, Thanks. I needed that. Most animals sleep in the wild. They need sleep like we do.