Issue with my severe macaw, Ducky

[Tishrei]

I have not posted in quite a while but now I seem to have an issue that I hope some will be able to help me with.

Some of you may remember me and remember that I have a potbelly pig -- or had one. She's been with me for 14 1/2 years but 2 weeks ago, old age caught up with her and tragically, she died. To say I am heartbroken is an understatement.

Anyway, back to Ducky. He never liked her, was always jealous of her but the last year or maybe a little less, he's learned to accept her. What I mean by that is he would not try and go out of his way to attack her. Now, he never saw her dead as she was outside at the time she died and not inside. Had she been inside, obviously he would have seen her. Ducky has been with me since March of 2003 so as long as he's been with me, Tulip (my potbelly pig) has been here -- she was here first.

Ever since she died, he has been EXTREMELY clingly -- much the same way he was when he first came to live with me. He literally follows me everywhere and I can't seem to get away from him while I'm home.

The creature that caused him extreme jealousy is now gone so why is he acting this way? Certainly he can't miss her because he never liked her. The only thing I can think of is he senses my utter sadness over the lost of my beloved pet but that still doesn't make sense because I have gone through grief since he's been with me and seen me very sad. He's been more loving when I went through something before but did not revert to this clingy stage that he's exhibiting now.

Any thoughts and anything I can do to get him over this. I am really not up to this clingy stage right now but I don't stop him as I realize he's going through something though I am not sure what. He's even gone back to screaming when he can't see me and he has not done that in a LONG time.

Thanks in advance for any input.

[kellywess]

Hes feeling your loss. Our parrots feed off of us. I am very careful not to handle or interact with my fids when I am cranky, upset or aggitated because of that. I dont think that there is anything "you" can do to get him over this. I think that after to go through mourning the loss of Tulup and you starting feeling your old self Ducky will go back to his old self. Hes comforting you.

[Tom Lawless]

He may have been more bonded to her than you think. I had a cockatiel who was very upset with me when I got my dog. The two never really bothered with each other but one night I had to discipline the dog (no beating or anything remotely like that) and when I went to put the 'tiel in his cage he bit me like I'd never been bit before. I think they get used to all the members of our families and get sad when there is a change of status.

Of course I could be projecting human emotions on the bird but I don't think so.

I'm sorry for the loss of Tulip. Fourteen years is a long history to have to see change so quickly.

[Ashling]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I read about your story and she sounded like a great pig. Animal psychology is very different to ours in many ways. Even if he seemed not to like her, he will certainly be missing her presence. Maybe he's clingyness is to make sure you don't go away either?

[Tishrei]

thanks for the replies. In fact, as I write this post, Ducky is on my shoulder going through a preening fest on me. He has become, in essence, part of my body. I honestly wish he would go back to the way he was. I was initially thinking that he did not understand the "whys" of why Tulip was gone that perhaps he thought he also would leave somehow -- that has been part of his prior life before coming to me as I am his fourth home. I don't know -- I may be projecting human feelings upon him.

As for Tulip dying, that is probably one of the more difficult things I have had to deal with -- she really was much loved by me and was part of my life for 14 1/2 years. Because of losing her, it's really hard to deal with Ducky's clinginess -- but to reassue him, I'm allowing him to be clingy and not trying to stop him.

He's seen me grieve before but there was no change in his environment so he reacted differently than he is now. He did not scream when he could not see me nor did he feel such a need to always be on me. He was more "loving" -- now he is (and I hate to say it) but rather annoying -- again, I'm not stopping him since I do not understand what he's going through.

I remember a few years ago when I had a few bunnies living in the back yard. I had to take one of the bunnies to the vet and she died during surgery. The bunnies saw me take her away and she never returned -- they actually (at least for a while) treated me differently -- so I don't know if this is what is happening with Ducky.

As a side and a bit off topic, Tulip was one incredible piggy. I am at peace knowing that God created animals and has a place for them though scripture does not say for the bible is about man's redemption, not critters for they do not need redemption. Tulip is gone from this earth but not gone forever -- she just went home. I just don't know what that entails.

I never knew birds and what wonderful critters they are until Ducky entered my life and he is so much loved by me that it's hard to explain. The same with Tulip -- I never knew that pigs could be like that -- she literally changed my life. If I had a choice, I would not change having Tulip in my life -- same with Ducky -- he can be annoying (so could Tulip) but I'll tell you, that bird has taken over my heart and I would not ever be without him unless he leaves this earth before I do.

I just wish he would go back to the way he was and give me some space. I really could use it right now but it seems he has other ideas and because I'm the human and he's the bird, he's going to win this one.

[Tishrei]

goodness, I wanted to delete part of my post as I got a bit "mushy" but it won't allow me to.

[kellywess]

It seems so, and thats why it is said... "that we are owned by our birds, our birds are not owned by us." I am sorry for your loss. I am comforted by the fact that Ducky is COMPLETELY there for you. Give him some scritches for me... if he is anything like my Severe he is going through a horrible molt and will require your full attention for some allo-preening. LOL Take care of each other!

[zoegirl]

So sorry about Tulip passing, sounds like you gave her a wonderful life and home. I have had all kinds of pets in my life but truly my feathered babies are the most emotional creatures I've ever seen. I'm guessing they are acutely sensitive to change in their surrounds and to every emotion I have as well. Ducky is no doubt feeling your bereavement. How do you feel about letting him stay in his cage or maybe letting him go outdoors, in a secured cage of course, so that he can be close to nature? Sort of the the equivelent of taking a long walk in the woods which always comforts me when I'm greiving. God bless you both.