How can I get my Eclectus to stop hating me and love me??

[Shoveler]

My parents got me a female Voesmari Eclectus parrot named sunshine about two years ago. She was only a month or two old, and I loved her a lot, but I didn`t know how to take care of a parrot at all, and I couldn`t understand her feelings and ended up scaring her all the time-- She ended up hating me. A lot. After she started maturing and I came back from my Summer trip, Sunshine hated me so much that whenever I came to her big cage, she would attack the food in her food bowl, and I got a little gist of what she liked and didn`t like, after getting bitten a few times. This year got a lot better than the last-- Sunshine stopped attacking her food whenever I came, but she still attacks me whenever she can. I tried my best not to hurt or scare her and gave her food and water, but she still tries to bite me. (Once I went onto a chair, and Sunshine tried to attack my feet, kept my feet on the sofa, and the Sunshine waited for me to come down so she could attack me again)

I have no idea what I should do anymore that would make her love me--- I need advice please.

[ponytailofdoom]

Well. I would suggest buying some heavy leather gloves to lesson the pain. Don't leave skin exposed if it can be avoided. Try to handle sunshine every day if you can, and if she attacks you, put her in the cage, cover it up and turn the light of. It will take time, but she should calm down and stop being aggresive towards you.

Well it worked with my Galah. Also i would suggest buying a spray bottle, fill it with water, and spray her if she gets to aggresive. If Sunshine is anything like percy, she'll hate it. I hope this helps, good luck with Sunshine. There are probably people who know alot more on this then me on this forum. Hopefully they can give you some better ideas.

Edit: Oh yeah! And do NOT let Sunshine onto your soldier untill your confident that she wont grab your ear. Put on a big brave face. In my (limited) experiance if the bird thinks your scared he'll take advantage of that and try and dominate you.

[geopelia]

Originally Posted by Shoveler

My parents got me a female Voesmari Eclectus parrot named sunshine about two years ago. She was only a month or two old, and I loved her a lot, but I didn`t know how to take care of a parrot at all, and I couldn`t understand her feelings and ended up scaring her all the time-- She ended up hating me. A lot. After she started maturing and I came back from my Summer trip, Sunshine hated me so much that whenever I came to her big cage, she would attack the food in her food bowl, and I got a little gist of what she liked and didn`t like, after getting bitten a few times. This year got a lot better than the last-- Sunshine stopped attacking her food whenever I came, but she still attacks me whenever she can. I tried my best not to hurt or scare her and gave her food and water, but she still tries to bite me. (Once I went onto a chair, and Sunshine tried to attack my feet, kept my feet on the sofa, and the Sunshine waited for me to come down so she could attack me again)

I have no idea what I should do anymore that would make her love me--- I need advice please.

Don't have her cage higher than your head. She will think she's the boss.

[Xen]

Well at least you know why she isn't keen on you... and that's a start. You know where you've gone wrong and actually want to fix it.

A few questions...

Are her wings clipped?

Who's been caring for her while you're away? Is she bonded to another family member and sees you as a threat and is biting to tell you to "get lost!"

I'd say that wearing gloves won't help with handling her. She may well get used to gloves, but then that doesn't mean she'll get used to your hand... the second the gloves come off you'll be back to square one.

You have to start back at the beginning and earn her trust. Talk to her through the bars, try offering her treats and she'll soon accept that you're not going anywhere. She'll soon get curious and approach you. Going straight in and grabbing her, forcing her to do what you want and when you want will not encourage her to like spending time with you... it'll scare her further.

No "hurting" her or scaring her if it doesn't go your way initially... you've both learned that lesson the hard way already.
Go at her pace. It WILL take a while and if you're serious about building this relationship then you'll have to accept that. Patience, patience and more patience.

Biting can hurt, but I think it's something you're going to have to accept and deal with if you're going to win her over. She's going to let you know that she's not keen on you, not scared of you and she'll bite you to proove that and show you she's the boss... this is easier said than done, but you have to show her it doesn't hurt and that lashing out isn't going to get her what she wants.

Also "time out's" and ignoring her work better than spraying her in my own experience. Spraying as punishment just enforces a "water is bad" message and you might find that she is scared of water or gets worried when you mist her for bathing. I don't think that's going to help you earn her trust by punishing her using something that is good and should be fun aswell as an important part of her day to day life.

I've never tried the cover up and keep in the dark method, but personally I think it's not a fair thing to do. I could see it making her quiet and confused to be covered up in the day if she's not been used to that happening the last two years... not sure how far it'll go with earning trust.

Good luck!

[kali]

I DON'T AGREE WITH THE SPRAYING HER WITH WATER EITHER. showers are very important to a bird for preening and, well, just for fun!! you want sunshine to ENJOY water.

if i were you i would go to the ekkie part of this foruma nd read all you can of the old posts.then i would go to the training section and read a whole heap more posts. take lots of notes... then i would go to this discussion forum and find all relevant posts about working with difficult birds and take even MORE notes. keep sunshine in the cage for this time and open the door only to feed and water change and change toys around a bit. do this with a FLESH COLOURED bandage around your arm to makes the bites a bit less bad. work out her favourite foods, omit them from her daily feed and only feed her those through the bars. make her come to you and trust you to give her the yummy stuff. she will then begin to associate you with the yummy food!! THATS A GOOD START!!!

try misting her with water through the bars as well, gently and slowly. baths are fun, calming and great for preening.

give her toys that will make her think!! foraging toys, hiding her food bowl under a piece of paper, interesting things to look at hanging OUTSIDE THE CAGE so she has to poke her beak through to play will encourage her trust even more when she realises that there's fun toys and yummy food and a lovely person that gives her al these outside.



patience is the key though, it might take a few months, but it will eventually happen. birds aren't as domesticated as dogs, and they are still their own 'person'. you can't force anything out of them.

good luck :) ekkies are beautiful birds, i wish one day i could have the time and energy for one. you have a very special bird, do everyhing you can to make her trust you and it will be a very rewarding friendship :)

[jenseits]

DO NOT PUNISH HER FOR BEING UPSET WITH YOU!!!

You can't punish a bird into trusting you. You can only EARN that trust. Not only that, but if you spray her with water or put her away and cover her, she probably won't have ANY clue what she's being punished FOR, so she'll just think you're arbitrary and a bully.... exactly the opposite of what you want her to learn.

There are a ton of recent posts on this board about earning trust. Use the search function to read all the advice, suggestions, tips, etc that some of the long-time board members have given to people in situations just like yours.

[matt57]

I wouldnt worry to much about the feet thing.... most birds have a thing with feet. My gcc loves to attack them

[cf1ny]

I purchased "Guide to a Well-Behaved Parrot" by Mattie Sue Athan on Amazon. She offers solutions for preventing and eliminating the most common behavior problems - screaming, biting and feather chewing and understanding the need for positive reinforcement of behavior you wish to become habitual. It has been a very helpful book.

[khergert]

Hello Shoveler and group

Welcome. I love hearing from new bird owners.

I believe birds are one of the most neglected domestic pets we humans choose to live with. They have skills to help them survive in the wild. After all, in the animal world, birds are food for other animals.

What to do? Know you might not succeed. Some female birds prefer men, some males prefer females. My white front amazon male is an aggressive bird. He is tame compared to what he used to be, but every now and then forgets.

Does bird know the command "step up"? Wings clipped? Who clips his nails? Who feeds him treats? Loving interaction over a long time is how its done. Do you know how to pick up a bird so he can't bite you? My male wf amazon is in control till I pick him up, then I'm in control. Be firm, but be gentle. After all, you pay the vet bill.

And after a year or two, if you dont succeed, find him a different home. My wf amazon came from someone that gave up on him. And it's not that he likes me. He can't resist hand fed sunflower seeds and nutraberries. and in the end, who cares if he likes me. right?




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My parents got me a female Voesmari Eclectus parrot named sunshine about two years ago. She was only a month or two old, and I loved her a lot, but I didn`t know how to take care of a parrot at

[bjwbird]

First, never do anything with your bird that is not trust building. That includes punishing with squirts of water. Most birds have a fear of gloves, don't use gloves.

Second, stop taking it personally. It's not that your bird doesn't like you or wants to hurt you, she just doesn't trust you and wants to push you away. From her perspective you appear a little unstable and dangerous :-)

I would highly recommend seeking the help of a bird behavior specialist that uses trust building techniques. You can find one at IAABC - International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants In the meantime, don't put yourself in a position of being bitten. Give her food from your hands through the cage bars, talk to her quietly, look at her with your face turned and give her time to see the new you.

Good luck

Jamie Whittaker
ABC Pets/ABC Birds
CPBC