A different form of "bad" advice

[Addicted to Tequila]

I need to rant for a moment.

I see a distinct tendency, not just on this board or even about birds, for people to give what I like to call "bad good advice".

Often people will say, " I SOOOO want an African Grey! I adore their personalities, their intelligence, and even their noisiness. I have never had a bird before... where does one find a good African Grey at a decent price?"

The replies often follow the same format, that of talking the person OUT of a complicated bird like a Grey. "Start with something smaller like a cockatiel or budgie" says the left side. "You need experience to own a Grey, you cannot handle it" says the right. The first instinct to steer the hopeful and smitten Grey lover is heartfelt... but is it correct?

Will a person that is totally enamored with a Grey be happy with a Tiel? Will they take good care of it once they realize it holds no fascination for them? Or will it end up like many and be cared for... but not loved? Is the life of a Tiel and it's happiness less important than that of a Grey?

I agree that a person that just "wants a bird" should be steered toward a bird that will train them on what is entailed. But should a true fan be dissuaded from their heart's desire?

When I was a teen, I wanted a horse. Not just any old nag would do... it had to be an Arabian. I worked and saved to buy me that horse. The only reason I could afford it was that it was 9 moths old (Arabs cannot even be ridden until they are about 3 or 4 years old when their knees closed).

That horse taught me a lot. About how to do things right... and how to make mistakes, correct what I could, and learn from what I could not. How to research and garner advice. How to put something's needs before my own. How to have unbelievable patience and MAKE time. That horse was the most pampered one in the stable. That horse wanted for nothing. But I look back and wonder who really won... the adored horse, or the owner that grew so much in those first years that it has carried on in every facet of her life including being the mother to a wonderful but emotionally difficult child with some special needs.

Sometimes love DOES make up for the deficit of experience. Sometimes the best "expert" makes mistakes.

Sometimes "good" advice... has a very bad outcome.

[loyallyroyal]

I dont understand the starter bird thing either.
I knew I only wanted one bird and that was an ekkie, I worked and saved my money, and now I have my baby and I'm glad I didnt listed to the advice to start with a budgie then a cockatiel then and conure and so on.

I would have a bunch of birds I didnt want.

I think as long as the person knows what they are in for, they should be fine.

[kellywess]

The starter bird usually ends up being the neglected bird. Unfortunate ... blunt but very true.

[vle1170]

Also the thing with a 'starter bird' is that well if you start with a budgie they can live what sometimes 15 years, then you move to a tiel that can live sometimes up to 30 years? by the time you are ready to get your grey or ekkie or amazon you wont even be able to have the bird for its lifetime span because it will outlive you.
Why go almost 50 years without the type of bird you want because so many believe you should start out small and move up or because they think you are too young to handle a bigger bird or whatever.
I believe that if someone wants a type bird bad enough they will do the research necessary, talk to the appropriate people like breeders, trainers and what not of that particular type bird, and even maybe go through some kind of training themselves to take care of that tyep bird like a rescue or even a pet store. So I agree, sometimes good advice can end up having a bad ending.
I want a blue front amazon so bad, but it didnt work out for a reason, and I know that reason is that there was another bird out there that was meant for me which is my Petey and Oscar even though he hates me LOL I keep hoping for a day when I can have the one I dream of having, but I am very happy with my baby and he will be with me as long as he lives.

[hollyhawkz]

Cockatiel92 is a great example... he is only 16, and would be fabulous with a grey. I support him fully.

I think what scares all of us into trying to disuade and discourage is that we are afraid the person "wants" the bird for the wrong reasons, and will not do the research or remain dedicated. That comes from our undying love of birds.

There are people however that are out there that would be great grey parronts even as first time bird owners.

I think Birdborad Members really really want folks out there to know what they are in for, and it comes off sounding like discouragement.

I feel both sides of this fully and as it often happens I am pulled in two directions on an issue. LOL

It is hard to know someone over the cybernet.... maybe that's the challenge.

Can I agree and disagree?? LOL

[Addicted to Tequila]

Nothing to agree or disagree about. This was actually sparked from something somewhere else on the web... not even bird related. I just thought I would cross it over to something I have seen every now and then with animals as well.

[Lisa B]

Well, greys have their own set of problems that really dont happen often in other species. That could be why, there are so many greys looking for second, third or fourth homes.
Plucking, Asper, problems with certain meds, xrays, paranoia, known as one person birds..... etc, are all kinda, not unique, but more prone with greys.


I also dont believe in starter birds. I often recommend tiels, not as starter birds, but as the PERFECT bird.
All of my birds, big or small lived their lives out in my home.

I dont believe greys are for first time owners. Thats just me. I;ve had just about every species live with me in 32 years, and nothing prepared me for my life with greys. Most of what I knew, went out the window.

however if someone chooses a grey as a first, I am always available to help them understand their newest family member, and help guide them into a happy life together.

I wanted a grey at 15. the first time I saw one. I had keets, teils and canaries.
I got my first rehome when I was in my mid 20's. I bought my first at 32.
So when the time was right, I got the opportunity.
Untill, and after then, I STILL loved my tiels, and still think they are the perfect bird.

[Addicted to Tequila]

If none of it prepared you... and it all went out the window... how is that different than a teen getting a Grey that their life revolves around and learning just as you did?

And BTW... I used Greys as an example. You could substitute any other bird in there you wish.

[BigBird]

Ive sold a lot of birds over the years to first timers and old hands at it. As long as the person knows what they are in for, is well informed of what the nutrition requirements are, how it should be housed, its breeds quirks, the advantages and the disadvantages andddd as long as they are a sensible person with their heart in the right place, I dont see why they cant start at the top. A cockatiel can last up to 25 years. If you arent interested in a house full of birds as you climb the ladder then go for the big one.

I dont sell many of my lorikeets because I think I am far too honest about living with a lorikeet that it turns people off. I tell people they are very noisy and need fresh fruit and veg daily, arent seed eaters and their poop will spread from one end of your house to the other. People think they are real pretty and cute, but not many want to live with that, and its true. I live with two in the house and all of the above drives me insane. Ive had them for four years now and they are part of the family so Im stuck with the mess and the noise because I love them.

[Lisa B]

Originally Posted by Addicted to Tequila

If none of it prepared you... and it all went out the window... how is that different than a teen getting a Grey that their life revolves around and learning just as you did?

And BTW... I used Greys as an example. You could substitute any other bird in there you wish.

well the big differnce I see is the teens life changes. School, marriage, kids.
most birds get rehomed for this reason. (yes, its understood about any species)
Greys are much different then other species. I also am a firm believer in finding species specific people rather then "general bird behaviorist"
What works for a zon will NOT work for a grey. What works for a macaw wont work for a grey. they are much more sensitive to their surroundings, and that has to be taken into account.
ya dont hear of an zon not eating for days if the owner is not around....Or a caique ripping out all its feathers because there is a bouquet of flowers in the room, Or sudden panic attacks from a new person coming to visit from a macaw.
Is a new person ready to deal with all this? Are they ready to understand WHY its reacting like this? Are they ready to find a cure at all costs? No, most just drop them off at a rescue, sell them or give them to family members.

at one time.....all these greys were very wanted and loved....now they are scared, upset, and dont know what they did wrong to get thrown away. notice many special needs..notice many many plucked...
African Grey, Punta Gorda, FL: Adoptable Pets: Petfinder

I learned from Old time trainers and behavior consultants. While their techniques are good,and worked fantastic with hormonal zons and toos in this house, they did NOT work with a grey. I ended up with a scared, growling grey. Turning my thoughts to species specific behaviorist consultants and learning how the grey mind works, I learned what a grey will thrive with, and turn on.