What to do when you don't have bird time?

[Merkuri]

I have a 3 and 1/5 year old Senegal named Soki. I used to be much more active on these boards before I got Soki. I guess for some reason I found it more entertaining to talk and read about birds before I actually got one. ;)

When I bought her around three years ago I lived by myself in an apartment and worked at a 9-6 job. At that time I thought I'd have enough time for the bird, and for the most part that seemed true. I got a Senegal because I had read they were a more "independent" bird and could learn to play by themselves. I knew she would be home alone for a large part of the day, but that I'd have time to spend with her in the mornings and afternoons.

Now things have changed. I live with my boyfriend who is in his last year of college. When he graduates in about a year we plan on moving, getting married, and having kids. While my boyfriend is home a lot during the day in between classes he cannot spend much time with the bird because he's busy studying and cleaning the apartment. Even if he takes Soki with him into another room she will fret and squawk unless he stands right next to her playstand and stares at her or pets her constantly. He's gotten fed up with it. He told me that at some points when I'm at work it gets so bad that he has to shut all the doors in the apartment, go into the bedroom, and sit in there quietly working on his laptop if he wants any peace and quiet. If he leaves the bedroom and makes any noise whatsoever Soki will begin screaming for attention.

I also was promoted at my job to a manager's position, and while my hours technically remain the same I'm expected to stay late more often. There have been days when I leave the house before the bird wakes up and come home after she's gone to bed (the boyfriend takes care of her on those days). Even when I do come home on time I'm usually so stressed that I just want to sit and relax, watch TV, or surf the web, and I don't usually find it in me to spend time training the bird to quietly play with her toys or ask for attention in a nice way.

I'm starting to realize that Soki might be happier in another home. We just don't have time for her anymore, and when my boyfriend and I get married and have kids we'll probably have even less time for her. Lately I've been considering finding another home for her.

I hate the idea of becoming one of those people who gets a bird, finds out it's more than they can handle, and has to give the bird up, but I have to think what's best for her at some point. If my future really doesn't include Soki then I feel like it's probably best to start looking for a new home for her now.

She has bonded to me somewhat (she certainly likes me more than my boyfriend), and I'll feel bad taking that away from her, but she is friendly with strangers once she's been around them for a few hours and learns they're not scary, and the last time I boarded her at the pet store they said she was a little sweetheart. I feel like she would bond with somebody else easily enough.

So what advice to other birdlovers have? Should I try to stick it out with her a little longer, even though my boyfriend has given up on having a quiet household? Or should I begin looking for a new home for Soki? How would I go about looking for a good home, if that's the best course of action?

[Kimmarie]

Hi, Soki might like some music or TV while you can't be with her. Alternating toys and some mirror's ...something new! Your boyfriend will probably take more of a liking to her if you can find a way to not stress out your household. Maybe a boyfriend of her own? I sure hope you can find a way to keep her. Try to not think of your time with Soki as another daily chore but rather a peaceful opportunity to share some love with her. I know it's a hard decision to make...hopfully it will be a win, win situation in the end.
Peace

[xafsmom]

That's a difficult question...

I personally don't believe in keeping a bird just out of obligation if you know you can offer it better elsewhere. It's bad for the bird - which is a very empathic creature, and it's bad for the owner, who will regret the bird, which the bird will pick up on. Vicious cycle.

At under 2 years old, Soki is still very much a 'baby' and the fact that you state she's only 'somewhat' bonded to you shows that lack of attention is evident. Senegals are birds that are usually very close to their owners. So, it might be best if you do indeed find her a good home where she will have the attention she'll need.

Since you're still able to take the time, and not rush, you can easily take advantage of that time now to be choosy about where Soki's going. Then you won't later on feel regret for getting rid of her because you'll know she went into loving hands.

[Merkuri]

Originally Posted by Kimmarie

Hi, Soki might like some music or TV while you can't be with her.

We've tried the TV, music, and a "white noise maker" that did sounds like birds and running water. We find she's even louder with some other noise source.

Originally Posted by Kimmarie

Alternating toys and some mirror's ...something new!

Tried that as well. She has a mirror but doesn't pay it much attention. I've tried swapping at least one toy every day. That worked for about a week, then she was back to her old self.

Originally Posted by Kimmarie

Maybe a boyfriend of her own?

No, I think the last thing I need right now is another bird. I have thought about that in the past, and if it has the potential to create two needy, unhappy birds then I don't want to risk it.

Originally Posted by xafsmom

At under 2 years old, Soki is still very much a 'baby' and the fact that you state she's only 'somewhat' bonded to you shows that lack of attention is evident.

She's actually three and a half years old. She was hatched in February 2005.

[xafsmom]

Whoops, I read that as 1.5! Sorry about that, but it really still stands.

[loyallyroyal]

Well only you really know if you need to re-home her.
If your looking for validation in doing so, only you can give that to yourself.

Would you feel relieved after re-homing? Thats what I got the feel of by your post.

If I had to re-home my Dewey I would be in a sobbing state. It would have to be because I didnt have the physical/financial ability to give him basic care and quality of life.

"I just want to sit and relax, watch TV, or surf the web, and I don't usually find it in me to spend time training the bird to quietly play with her toys or ask for attention in a nice way."

To me it sounds like you didnt like the responsibility of the bird (A cautionary tale when you go to have children, and you cant rehome them lol talk about giving up on a quiet household) this is normal, especially for young people.

AKA my brother wanted this Doberman puppy, well when she became more responsibility than he wanted guess who got the dog and his walking and training.

My guess is you liked the hypothetical idea of the bird not the responsibility that came with it.