Birdell update....I need advice

[stlbirdgirl]

Ok, I’m going to try and keep this short because I don’t have much time but I have A LOT to say…..

The girl and her partner came over to my house last night. They both watched me interact with my flock some and I told them all about my flock and their individual histories and personalities. They were impressed with all of the play areas I made for the birds. Sydney and Sky did a little dancing for them and Sydney played some Peek-A-Boo.

Then we sat down in the living room and the girl didn’t really ask me anything. It wasn’t until her partner said something about how they had to be somewhere before too long that I finally asked her what she was thinking…..her response in many ways completely floored me….here are the main points.

1) She really is concerned with the fact that sometime in the future I might move…She wants someone who is going to be here for the rest of their life and someone who is willing to let her visit Birdell regularly for the rest of his life…I tried to explain to her that if I do move, it will not be for at least a few years and it will be to go to vet school but that doesn’t really matter….She is convinced she will find someone who wants her to come over every week for the rest of their life….I did explain to her that I do not feel that it would be fair to Birdell to have constant visits like that. At one point her partner told her that she needed to talk to some more people and find out what they say about it, she mentioned that it is the same way with dogs and cats she knows for sure. . . What really floored me was when her partner asked her “If you find out that she (talking about me) is right and that it would be best for Birdell if you stopped visiting him, would you do it?” SHE SAID NO!!!!!!!! She honestly said that even if she is told by the “experts” that it would be better for Birdell if she doesn’t visit, she still plans on visiting him because “that’s what’s normal for her” …. Of course at that point I wanted to ring her neck but I was good and I bit my tongue…..

2) She thinks that Birdell needs someone who has no other birds. In some ways I suppose I see this…She wants Birdell to be pampered and get a lot of attention…This is good, however I did tell her that more then anything else, Birdell needs someone who knows how to handle him. He needs to be in a household that is not scared of a bird his size, especially a bird with his history (most likely wild caught, definitely hormonal, cage bound for several years). He should probably not be in a house with kids. He does need attention, but he needs it from someone who will not let him make the rules, and he needs to know that wherever he goes, he is staying…

3) Basically I really just think that she is not ready to give him up….She talked about how she has been visiting him once a week for the last several years….To her it is normal to see him in his cage all the time. She stops by and talks to him once a week and that is part of her routine, part of her life….She does not want to give that up.

I REALLY wanted to give her a piece of my mind but I was really good and did not say most of what I wanted to…I doubt they will be calling me back. I think I told her a lot of things that she needed to but didn’t want to hear and I’m afraid that may keep her from wanting me to get Birdell. I did tell her that I respect her for how much she obviously cares for him, if she didn’t she wouldn’t want to remain a part of his life, but I asked her to think about what is best for him at this point, if she is going to give him up, he needs to not have that hope that one day she might come back and take him away again…

If she could have, I’m sure her partner would have let me have Birdell right then….She told me as much when they were leaving….I do think she will try to talk some sense into her…I just don’t know if it will work…I’m sick to my stomach over all of this today….Birdell is back in the dog grooming shop.

I really think I am going to let Lynn from the rescue call her today....I should probably just let it go but I can't....I can't stand to think that he is stuck in a dirty shop with noisy dogs.....I'm driving myself insane thinking about it!

[Halo]

Well, I do agree that it is probably not in the best interest for the bird to get constant visits from his old family. Simply for the reason that I think the bird needs to let go of them and bond to you and if they are constantly in and out, that is never going to happen. When we took Bebe in, we agreed to a visit within 30 days which was really stupid of us but we all knew that my family was best for Bebe and that's what they wanted so we let them have it. I would not have taken him if they had wanted to come over ever week though. They just want the 30 day check to make sure he has adjusted and is doing well here and not plucking more or stuff like that. That I can understand. I keep in touch with most of the families that have given us their birds until they decide they no longer want to know. Several of them I email anyway even though they never answer me. I just want to let them know they made the right decision and take that worry out of their head.

As for the "home with no other birds" argument, that one bugs me. Unless the bird is incapable of getting along with other birds, this is a moot point. It should be more about the time the person has to spend with their birds and their ability to take care of them properly that should be the main point and not how many birds a person has. I have time to spoil all of my fids even with as many as we have. I do realize that everyone else has different time constraints but luckily for me, I don't have them. In eight years when I graduate from college, my husband is going to take time off from work so he'll get to be here with the fids (oh now that will be fun )

I hope that her partner talks some sense into her!

[teenab]

I see a lot of rescues are stating that they will no longer adopt birds to single bird households. Birds are flock animals!! I missed the original post about this but I do hope you get Birdell!

[Halo]

I don't think there is anything wrong with having just one bird... some probably do better on their own and some people only have time for one and they shouldn't not be allowed birds because of that. It just irritates me when someone says they want a home with bird experience and then turn around and say "no other birds in the home".

[loyallyroyal]

"want a home with bird experience and then turn around and say "no other birds in the home"."
Ya, that is really wierd

I dont know the situation, but I know personally, If I died tomorrow I dont think I would want Dewey going to a home with a lot of other birds, I would want him to be to be the spoiled baby of the household.

hehe, the visiting reminds me of a dog I tried to adopt once from this lady, she wanted to make sure the dog was never left alone, and wanted the rights to drop by unanounced whenever she wanted to make sure the dog wasnt alone. Lets just say, I definitely didnt get the dog.

"no longer adopt birds to single bird households"
Thats rather sad, many people dont have time for 2 feathered 3 year olds, plus, then the adopter would probably resent having to get the extra bird to adopt the one they wanted, poor third wheel bird.