WOW! Beware, long :)

[Lotis9]

So I finally got to check this board this evening and at first was awed to see that my feelings about a CL ad had invoked so much discussion - at that time I only knew there were 45 replies! So I was a bit excited! AND THEN, I read all the comments and I was genuinely disappointed. BTW, this response is BY NO MEANS an ATTACK on ANY ONE! If you'll notice I said Thanks for listening at the end. But it became a battle of opinions. Let me see if I can speak here and we not battle. (Might I also comment that I understand the feeling/need to get all riled up about a thread that arouses passion in oneself, as I have myself. Sometimes it's more important to put our "feelings" aside though and focus on what is actually being said.) That being said:

quote from Lori~D ***I am not attacking you!***
"Well since I have traded a bird for a bird and a horse for a pony I am sorry but I am apparently just as bad as the person on CL wanting to trade a dog for a bird. I have felt this from the very first post. I am offended by most of it. I find much of it hypocritical and judgmental. Ive said my part, I have voiced my feelings, you have voiced yours. I am going to close the thread now as I feel it is beginning to go to far in the wrong direction. Which is nowhere.
__________________


It is unfortunate that this posting offended anyone or made them feel guilty, those were not my intentions; if we all look closely we might see that. If one feels guilty about a trade they made than that is simply on them and their's alone to deal with WHY they feel guilty. I did not say anyone was BAD, just that it is frustrating. I did not make one feel bad because I voiced my opinion about trading pets and how it makes me feel. It is clear that what was said struck a nerve in whoever suddenly feels bad about what they did. Perhaps the thread went in the wrong direction because all of us did not try hard enough to pull it in the right direction instead of focus on how someone else's OPINION made them feel, and thus the discussion was lost.

I do not disagree with the many posts that pointed out how hard times are and how that forces people into positions that we never wanted to be in and forces us to make choices that are uncomfortable to say the least. I also see the benefit to all parties involved in a trade say in the case of the horse and the pony, or trading your truck to pay for the bird you want from someone who would rather have a truck. But in that light, does it not produce an odd feeling in your soul when you think, I'll give you my "companion parrot" for that truck - maybe they need it to survive and are hurt to lose the bird but must cuz that's all they can give away to get truck, or maybe they just don't care. Nonetheless it is frustrating to know - REALITY CHECK - that it is more likely to be the latter (esp given the care put into the ad or post). Sometimes also, we have to judge a situation if we are to avoid making a foolish decision. Most of us will "judge" the e-mail from the person who said they just moved to Cameroon and need to sell their bird cuz they don't have time. I will take responsibility for not being more specific and for doing just what I know does not make for a healthy discussion and reacting off of my emotions.

In finding this hypocritical and judgemental - NOT AIMED AT LORI, just responding - we must be honest with ourselves and ask the mirror, am I seeing all sides of it as I am telling those against it to? We might all sit and say that is frustrating, or bad, and then the others will say yeah but maybe it's good maybe it helps, but can each side also time out and see the opposite? We are so quick to say yeah but maybe it's not so bad; if we are being real we should also admit, maybe it is so bad.

My frustrations are in the fact that there is no way to know. Yes the economy is very bad and we are all suffering, but if that is the reason for the trade than one should ask themselves if getting another being PERIOD to care for when it's hard enough to do so for yourself is the right thing, dog or bird. It is hard to imagine the person has the animals best interest in mind when all they do is post that they're getting rid of their bird and will trade for a chihuahua or $300. I can understand needing money, but the listing seemed careless. THat is not to judge cuz that is not what I did, but what I saw. It is judgemental to go either way, good or bad. And perhaps I was being so, but I can't help but see the carelessness IN THE AD, the lack of effort. (To EVERYONE, if you were FORCED to trade your bird, how would you go about advertising that/reaching out to potentials traders?) Maybe that person inquires more about the other person once they've talked, but maybe they don't. We've all seen plenty of ads that say, "SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY PLEASE" or "MUST HAVE PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE". For some reason, good or bad or neutral, this person does not want their ZON but will take a dog. NONE OF US know why and NONE OF US know if that person will or won't bother to tell the new owner. Maybe the bird is perfect and they just can't take care of it, but can care for a dog better and still wants a pet but you can't help but wonder if they are more concerned with getting something "better" (in whatever sense of the word applies to their circumstances) or if they will put care and effort into making sure as best they can that their old animal friend goes to someone who CAN and WANTS to care for them. Maybe they do. I don't know, that's frustrating and one would only know after inquiring, and I am waiting for a response!

OR maybe this bird has "issues", and as we all KNOW, that is not uncommon but very likely. So a more careful ad may state that the bird is aggressive, is too loud, "hates" spouse, hates kids, feather plucking, etc and that person can no longer provide for or care for bird, needs help or experienced caretaker. OR maybe this person says nothing at all to the new owner who may or may not know what they're doing. As one has said, they traded a horse to owner who will ride him and vice versa for pony but what if pony-owner never said intentions or vice versa? Would one trade horse if didn't KNOW it would be ridden? What if person with chihuahua can't sell it cuz no one has money, and they think hey it might be cool to try bird, if not I'll just sell it! Or breed it! Or maybe that's what they always wanted in life and couldn't afford Zon and their Chihuahua got pregnant on accident and wow, god willing they can now afford their dream bird!!! Or what if they don't care and the bird becomes their experiment, they just want to get rid of dog? No one really knows, and that is frustrating.

Yes, I see that it probably does sound like I said it's bad, cuz i did think it was a bad ad. We don't trade children. We adopt, but think of the effort put into that process, the screening etc? Birds are VERY complex as we people are and require the utmost understanding if they are to be treated well. There's something that doesn't sit right with me when it comes to "trading" birds as this is a delicate matter. They suffer from changing homes be it just a little to a lot. THUS it frustrates me because parrots are SO misunderstood but still considered a status simple and oh so exciting.

SO with respect, I would like to ask everyone who's ever traded a bird, what was the nature of your trade? How did you go about doing it? Are you happy with your decision? I am not passing judgement, just venting, and now very curious to hear from those who have had to trade or wanted to.


Thank you.

[Lori~D]

Thank you. I appreciate your post. I traded my breeders for a pet. Everybody is happy - including the birds (I think) and I would imagine so are the baby parrotlet owners in the other state with new babies they couldnt find before? I have my Willow who will never be a breeder as long as I am able to care for her. I think some of this can also pertain to the thread "when to rehome" by Foxers Artist. Like I had said originally I know many who find out later a bird is just not the right fit even AFTER they have done the research and it could be they just picked the wrong bird.