Preventing an Impulse Buy...advice?

[jdlilfan]

Stalling is a good idea. I'll definitely try it. I'm concerned because she's found a friend who knows someone looking to rehome their bird. No clue what species. Now we're all worried. However, these people have not called her back. I'm thinking they feel the same was as we all do. My poor mom and dad about had a stroke when they heard this, and I hope for THEIR sanity, we can get this bird-phase to pass. My dad said she's been going on about wanting a parrot for 20 years. However, she's never acted on it like this, and so he's all upset.

No CRToon83, you aren't a jerk...you're right! She's very irrational! And yes, she is one of those types of people that doesn't get it until she does it for herself. Yet, she's been to my house and heard the noise and seen the mess. She's just somehow got herself under a very false impression. She thinks there's something seriously wrong with my sun conure because he doesn't talk. She said "well now that you've got your African Grey, won't Cheeko (sun conure) finally learn to talk? All he does is scream. What's wrong with him?" When I first brought my Grey home, I brought Grandma over to meet her. She immediately started in, saying "What's in her food bowl?!? Why aren't you feeding her seed?!!" That's what we're dealing with.

I thought the whole avian vet thing might scare her into not making a purchase. She didn't understand they have to see a special vet. She said "well, I can't do that. That's expensive. That's ridiculous, etc."

She grew up during the Great Depression and is very tight with money. I should be getting another Foster & Smith catalog in the mail here soon. I might take that over to her along with a calculator and show her what's what and what the cost will be added up to.

I just hope something works soon. We all know this isn't a situation where you "live and learn." My African Grey is a rescue from people like this. They had good intentions and cared for birds, BUT because they didn't do their research and understand what they were getting into, she ended up neglected and had she been there any longer she wouldn't have made it. She's lucky to be alive.

Thanks for all your replies. I appreciate it!

[Vega]

The only other option would be to ask her to see the bird she plans on "acquiring" (whether through purchase or adopting). Then try to speak with whomever is turning the bird over and try to get THEM to understand the type of 'care' their fid will receive. It might scare people away from your gram rather than the other way around.

[jdlilfan]

Good plan. If they call her back I'll try to weasel the phone number out of her. But I'm not sure these people even know what kind of bird THEY have. It's very sad. I hope they did the right thing and gave it to a rescue or another person who can properly care for it. She says they haven't called her at all for quite a while.

[25k]

ok, lets look at this through grandma's eyes. she wants a bird. she is a grown woman, who is probably used to getting anything she wants. im not saying she is spoiled, im saying that she has been an adult for longer than most of us have even been alive. if she can afford it, then who cares, its her money. does she live by herself? if so then i would be lonely and would want a big bird too! i am a cert. nursing ass. i work with little old ladies all the time that have birds OF ALL SIZES! besides, bad behavior birds can usually be turned around with time and know how.

[sadisticotaku]

Isn't this sort of a moral issue as well? Someone would be handing the macaw to a person in which it would be abused. I wouldn't be surprised if her grandma buys the smallest cage possible, and not spend any money on toys. What if it doesn't talk? She would probably think there was something wrong with it.

[jdlilfan]

Sadisticotaku is right...she won't spend $$ on toys or a decent cage. I understand that she is lonely, which is why she got a cockatiel, which suits her just fine. However, buying a bird because you want it to "talk" is the wrong reason.

25K, this necessarily isn't an issue with her age, it's that she's very stubborn and refuses to let us help her research and learn. And I agree, there are a lot of elderly or older people who would do excellent with birds of all sizes. Sadisticotaku hit the nail on the head: it's a moral issue. It isn't fair to the bird to subject it to a situation where we know it won't receive proper stimulation.

Anyone on this forum who's been there with a neglected bird will agree that modifying behaviors and getting back on the right track takes a VERY long time as well as a ton of patience and persistence. And even then, there will possibly be emotional scars for the rest of their lives.

[Xray Susie]

Originally Posted by sodakat

If she insists on buying a $1200 bird, let her find one, drive to pick it up herself, buy the $400 cage herself, transport it home herself, etc. I would doubt she will follow through. Maybe it's just fun for her to imagine owning such a bird. If she actually succeeds in doing this, I hope she rehomes a very elderly bird.

--Kathy

I agree. If she's hell-bent on doing this, in spite of the fact that she thinks noise, mess and vet visits are a no no, then let her do it all. Do not help her one bit. But, if you could sneak that breeder phone number and explain how the bird will be homed, then that's also a good idea.

(Sorry I'm jumping in late on this, I've been out of the country for a week.)

[hsmoscout]

Try a Quaker. If she's living on her own it might be good cause they seem to bond very closely to one person and won't let anybody else near them...but they my adore thier owners! The only problem is they are noisey compared to a tiel but, are better at talking and are very funny!