Lessons learned

[shellbeme]

By no means do I think I am an expert on anything, nor am I implying that anyone here assumes they are. I just wanted to share some of the many mistakes I have made in the world of companion parrots.

I am going to start when I was 18, because that is when I decided I wanted an african grey. I was obsessed, books, magazines, forums, catalogs, web sites. I saved up and purchased chico.

My thoughts now, an 18 year old is not stable eneough to provide a stable environment for a larger parrot. This isn't always the case, but 9 times out of 10 it is true. You are essentially adopting a child.

I thought I was so smart, I hopped on forums and gave advice, I jumped on the flame wagon when it came to parrot rights, and treatment, avian vets, unweaned parrots, the whole "how can you be so irrisponsible and NOT visit the avian vet the second something seemed wrong?! Its your fault the bird is dead!!" yea, I said that to someone who had just lost their baby and I am not proud of it.

No matter how good my intentions were for the parrots of the world, it did not touch a single one of them. Why? Because I was being a jerk to their owners, for making mistakes and being human. No one listens to people who come across that way, no one hears the message they are trying to get across.

What really humbled me? Feather picking. Oh yea, I use to be all over that too, because if your bird is picking, you must be doing something wrong! Right? I mean toke it to the vet or stop mistreating it! Good owners don't have birds that feather pick.... (or so I thought back then)

Chico started picking his feathers after a couple years. This humbled me greatly. I drove 2.5 hors to see our avian vet over the course of several weeks while we tried to figure the cause. The vet did finally attribute the picking to an infection we cleared up but was concerned that by that time it was habitual.

I have had him 13 years, at least 10 of those he has been a plucker. We have een through a lot, new people, moves, new routines. Recently we made a big move to be with my significant other. I was unemployed when we first moved here and I noticed, chico stopped picking. The moment I went back to work, he started again.

I think, his picking has more to do with the fact that he was purchased by an 18.year old who doted over him and showered too much attention in the beginning. We are working on spending more one on one time with him(he has never been neglected or ignored by any means) and I am lucky in the fact that my other half loves him as much as I

We arre looking into the possibility of adding another fid. We have decided on an eclectus, I think part of the problem is that chico is alone all day while we are at work. And we do have the time and funds for another.

So, I do have a passion for parrots, but what I am trying to say with my story is that you are never going to help them if you can't reach people. People are important too I have learned this my inserting my foot into my mouth over and over and over. In this day, people come to forums for advice, and when they get jumped- they most likely won't return and you have just missed your chance to help the parrots you care so much about.

I have learned there are times for making my point, there are ways of wording things, and there are times I just need to bite my tongue.

Forgive my grammar, I typed this out on my palm. Please forgive my babbling too hehe I ramblee at times.

[dmiller91]

actually I'm impressed. It's a tribute to you that you still have a bird so many years later that you got when you were 18!

I made a commitment to a dog at 18, and I had the dog for it's lifetime.

In hindsight, I was way too young to make a decision like that.

[asulli]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. Life is about learning -- and when you think know it all you can learn some more!

[Lisa B]

We all have lessons to share....what we learned, what we did wrong and how we thought we knew everything. There are the few who think they know everything about everything and by being a bully is the way to get their message across. Not so. Only makes others want to avoid you, and and loose respect for you.

this is usually in my siggy, but took it off for football season...........
"Wisdom is the reward for listening over one's lifetime"....
and I believe it whole heartedly.

[LovelySydney]

I love your post. I think it is honest and forthcoming and more importantly, it is true. My parents didnt allow me to have any pets until I was out on my own. I loathed them for this. When I went to college I waited until 3 years in when I had my own apartment, no roomates, and got a cat. I didn't get Maggie until I was 22 and Im glad I didnt get her any earlier. This sobered me up as to how much work, time and money pets really are. I got my first lovebird this January and have had birds throughout the year. Neko I just got at the end of July I believe?? It has been HARD WORK having birds, I totally understand where you are coming from. I also firmly believe that when on forums such as this we really DO need to think before we write. In some situations I know it can be very hard to give good, sound advice without hinting at our anger or annoyance, but it really does have to be done in a positive, nice way or you are right, we will never get the message through!!



Thank you for sharing, I think it is a wonderful post.

[MissV]

This is a really awesome, well thought-out post.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm glad you came through okay and still with your fid.

It is really hard not to jump on somebody when you're passionate about something, but we all have to try really....ESPECIALLY online. It helps to just take a moment as you're furiously typing and think, "Would I really say this to someone in real life...having to see the pain it may cause them?"


That's a hard lesson learned. One too many flame sessions and eventually some people get it. ^^

[shellbeme]

Thanks guys and thanks for sharing your own experiences as well :)

[Astrid660]

Thanks for writing that. I have learned some hard lessons along the way too. Looking back, I don't think I should have jumped into the responsibilities as much as I did by adopting 3 large birds within a span of a few months... but you live, you learn, right? I do my best but some days I wonder why I was SO eager to have a huge flock at such a young age. At 14 I remember trying to come up with a list of ways to make money to buy a grey, and I'm sort of relieved it didn't happen until last year. I must have been blind to the work involved cleaning all the cages and poop and washing blankets that get dirtied, all the dust/dander, having to bathe them, cook for them, keep them out of trouble, etc - Now it's more work than play but for the most part I really don't mind because they are a lot of fun to be around. I am excited to wake up and see them each day, they keep me motivated and happy. Now if I can find a place that will rent to me, my life should be okay for a while.

[debbielabella]

very well said. It's hard not to be judgemental when we feel like we are fighting for whats right, but that only makes people dig in their heels, and no one is in a position to judge since we all make mistakes. It's very humbling. I make lots of mistakes, must really need the humbling.

[Abby]

Well said.

At 16/17 I wanted a grey, my father said no (in retrospect he knew me better then I knew myself), I sulked (only child, daddys little princess). Little did I know at that time how much my life would be turned upside down over the years. I am so glad that he said no as I would have ended up with a bird that was a complete mess.

20 years later I got my grey. Life is a stable as it can be with 3 kids and a busy household. I am so glad that I was made to wait. Arthur is an outright prat some days but he's one of the loves of my life.

It's so easy to jump on the judgement bandwagon. I know I have to pull myself up still on occasions.

Amazing, the more you learn, the less you realise you know.