Bird poop, the "other mousse"

[The Outlaw]

Dear Flock:

A couple of days ago, I got the shortest, ***** haircut that you can imagine. I like it, so that's the way it is. To keep it at its Most **** Splendor, I must attack it often with the most interesting array of "stuff". Dow Chemical and I now equally share that slogan "Better living through chemistry."

Anyone who has ever had the "great" pleasure of stopping by here, especially unannounced, can expect 2 things: a bird on my head and bird poop in my shirt. That sometimes translates to bird poop on my head and ears as I remove a wet poopy shirt.

Well, this brings up todays thought: Is mousse really better than bird poop in creating that spikey, punk style? I have done my research on this subject and can tell you this:

1) If its color you want, then by all means stick to bird poop. It definitely pops out at the casual viewer and immediately creates an intimate conversation starter even with strangers. In fact, there are NO strangers in my circle. Everyone has commented on my bird poop at one time or another.

2) If what you're looking for is a great scent, then for the most part, mouse or spray will probably be the easier option. Though not as dependable for holding the style, its far more convenient to simply open a bottle or can and spray than to have to feed a bird something floral or fruity and wait. However, if you want color AND fragrance, then we get right back to good old poop.

3. Birds do not care for the taste of hairspray or mousse or any other hair care product. I know this to be a fact. The only way I can keep my grey out of my hair (hey, no pun intended) is to add something sticky or brittle. As for the "other gray" I'll do whatever is necessary. After all, I am a bottle blonde. I have found, however, that MOST birds do like the taste of bananas or sweet potatos and have been known to wipe both into my "do" often. They seem to like the style possibilities and the dessert option as well.

I will continue my research. I know these things take time. And, since most of the rest of you have lives, someone has to do it.

THE OUTLAW

[blueroseaviary]

:P :P :P :P :P :P :P

[Lora, Archer, & Kira]

wow, that certainly brought interesting thoughts to mind. I can just see someone saving up the "excess" for later. And wow, the color combinations you could come up with if your bird liked to eat brightly colored pellets... :?

[cgrite]

damn....i can now pull off that mohawk i always wanted....... :P

you're brilliant nancy...

[LMPego]

Very cute. However, my bird does like the taste of hair products, apparently. She only wants to eat it when it's wet and sticky!

[Casa Amazona]

I think you're right. For holding ability the bird poop is defintely ahead of anything else out there. For taste, though, I'm not so sure about the hair stuff. A few years ago while on a motorcycle trip a friend's hair stuff spilled all over the inside of the saddlebag and actually dissolved the stitching holding it together. Ever since then I've tried to keep the birds and the hair products apart.

[gonefnuts]

I have had bird poop many times in my hair as well as to many times on my clothes. To me it's no big deal, what's the differance if it were your child pooping on you. I don't sweat it I just wipe it off, my husband on the other hand thinks it's right down dirty.

[radiogirl995]

Hilarious Nancy!

And Tammy - WHAT IS THAT ABOUT??? My friends are the same way - Tuki will often poop on me while on my shoulder and my friends think this is the most heinous offensive thing ever!

I don't get it...it DOESN'T smell and I wear special bird poop shirts!

[Regina U.]

Thanks. I needed that laugh. You are too funny.

[Kristi]

My husband SWEARS that he could get rich by making concrete out of bird poop.

Maybe Nancy and Dane could work something out for a new mousse/gel/concrete company.......