Former owner wants to visit Cockatoo?

[13Birds]

Minor dilemma - need some feedback:

I know that Cockatoos are very emotional and sensitive birds so here's my problem. Do you let former owners come to visit a bird when they obviously make the birds nervous? I'm trying to be nice to the woman and her child, but when you re-home a bird is it best to cut ties with the old life? The former owner is loud and often screams at her child which is really annoying. One of the birds is a plucker and I don't want to stress it out.

A little background here: My so-called friend got these two birds kept them a few years until the novelty wore off. She didn't give them to me, I literally had to buy them from her to keep her from selling to the wrong people. Now the 2 birds that she claimed didn't get along at her house are doing fine here and that ticks her off a bit, plus I'm sure she's now thinking she could have gotten more money for them. Honestly, the first adoptee can't stand her, and when she comes to visit, she grabs him out of his cage, making him angry. Obviously if she wants to visit the birds, she needs to realize there are boundaries here. Honestly, I'd just as soon write the woman off, but I don't want to be mean to her child who wants to visit.

So I need some feedback. Do you think it's more stressful and confusing for the bird to see the former owners so soon after the adoption? (3 days) Bird is doing fine and doesn't seem to miss them at all.

[4HAND]

With the circumstances you describe I wouldn't allow it and I'd not consider a person like that any friend of mine.You don't owe this person anything but you do owe your birds protection from anything that would cause them stress.
Good Luck,
Tena

[GlendaNS]

Let her visit, but set some rules. After all, it is YOUR house. I would just tell her up front and if she couldn't abide by your rules, then it would be best if she didn't come to visit anymore.

[stepht25]

I think sometimes it's okay for a former owner to visit a bird - as long as they are respectful in your home and it doesn't bother the bird. But from your description - this woman is not respectful in your home and it does bother the birds when she visits. I would just tell her that it confuses the birds and stresses them out when she visits and that for the sake of the birds she needs to stay away. She probably won't be happy about it - but you have to do what's in the best interest of the birds.

[13Birds]

Thanks for the quick replies. Just trying to make a smooth transition for birds and humans which isn't always easy. I sure don't consider this person my friend anymore. I emailed her last nite about my house rules, so she just called in a huff and said she'll sit in the car while her son comes in to visit. At this point I'm like WHAT-ever! LOL After this visit though, no more. Geez, it scares me that these people have pets let alone kids.

[4HAND]

I thought about that kid after my last post.If they are getting "screamed" at on a regular basis It would be great if they could come on their own.I'm glad it worked out that way.Kids don't get to pick their parents,but they do choose who they admire.Who knows,you may have a real influence on how this kid treats his/her pets in the future.
Tena

[Copper]

To help the kid out, ask him if he would mind talking softly to the birds so that they can continue to adjust to their new home, and if they don't want to be touched, that he respect their descision. Just as kids don't come with a set of directions of how to be raised their behaviors are learned, it's the same with any animal that we bring into our homes.
The kid can learn from you how to respect and understand these precious beings from you.
Let his mother sit in the car and enjoy teaching.

[kat3k]

If you are willing to "write this woman off" as you said, I would DO IT. What is there to be gained by any of the parties involved in this situation? It doesn't sound like there is anything positive to come out of her continuted visits, most especially for those poor birds, who were fortunate to have been rehomed by you. And as the birds do better, I would expect the woman to be wanting them back at some point. Better to sever the cord and move on.

[tweet52]

It don't sound like they are respectful you are your birds,and it is your house she needs to get some rules to let her know that she cant do that,I would not allow it.I don't let my Grand-kids be loud around my birds and they know it. I would tell her in a nice way
that it's at the point to let go!Like kat3k say....to sever the cord and move on,cut the cord!

[KimBear]

Members, PLEASE let me respond to the original post BEFORE you make your comments. This is the Ask the Experts section and posting is generall reserved for me.

It's not that the information given is incorrect. But if someone is posting here, there's an assumption that they are wanting to hear specifically from me. If that's not the case, the post should go in one of the other sections.

Thanks,
Kim (not meaning to sound as snotty as this probably does)