U2 now afraid of son

[Basket Case]

Hatchet has loved everyone in our house since we got her about a month ago. She goes to anyone, even new people who she has never seen. One of my son's who is 21 could do anything with her. When we brought her home Alex had a scruffy beard. He shaved it off two weeks ago. He walked into the room and Hatchet let out an awful scream and ran to the back of her cage. Hatchet will not come anywhere near Alex now. If Hatchet is out with us she goes to the furthest person away from Alex. If he comes near her she runs. Even if it means diving off someones shoulder head first to run as far as she can. Even if the person is someone she doesn't know. Alex has been sitting away from her cage when she is in (at least once a day, usaly more) and just talking to her. He is to the point now where he can come up by her cage and talk to her but if he touches her cage she dives off her perch and trys to hide in the back corner of her cage. She doesn't try to bite him or lung at him. Just runs. He never chases after her or forces her to be pet by him. She will take a treat from him, very carefully. Then won't move or eat the treat until he steps backs. He has never been mean to her or even raised his voice. Any other things we can be doing to get her back to loving him as much as she did? Alex is the one who will be caring for Hatchet when we are out of town.

[KimBear]

It sounds like your son is doing what he needs to do. It's hard for us to be patient with birds sometimes because we know that their fear is baseless, but to the bird, that doesn't matter. Tell Alex not to stress too much, that Hatchet will come around in his own time.

Something you might try, if you want to step things up a bit, is to have someone other than Alex take Hatchet into a small room, placing the bird on a stand or on the back of a chair. Let Hatchet settle down for a bit, then have Alex come to that room and just sit down on the floor. Hatchet may become upset, but just let her have whatever fit she wants to have. Alex may even turn his back to the bird if that helps, and he should stay on the floor until Hatchet calms down. Once Hatchet seems okay, the other person can leave so that Alex and Hatchet are alone. Alex can gradually turn around, then approach the bird, get up, etc., as he feels comfortable doing so.

This sort of thing isn't that uncommon. Parrots can get freaked out by the oddest things, and it takes time for them to get calmed down again.

[Basket Case]

Thank you Kim. We will try that. Strange thing is that she never tries to bite him. Hatchet will try to bite anyone else when she doesn't want to go back in her cage or be moved but not Alex, she just runs from him. When she panics and runs from him sometimes she ends up crashing into something. Then she will sit there and Alex will go up to her. She will climb up on his arm and let him put her back on her cage, chair or where ever she is near. Once she is off his arm she runs from him again. When Hatchet is in my lap Alex can come up and pet her but only on the head, even when she is being crabby with others. Then all of a sudden she will look up at him and run. Luckly Alex is very patient and quiet, he is very laid back. He has worked with abused cockatiels and done wonders with them. He doesn't mind being bitten and never lets the birds think that bitting works. But we just haven't been able to figure out why she has suddenly become this way.

[KimBear]

This is just a guess, based on what limited amount of information I have, but I'd say it started with the removal of the beard. Alex looked different and Hatchet freaked out. She is now associating being afraid with your son. Assuming that nothing else is going on, what will have to happen is that Alex needs to replace the fear association with happy and calm experience. But it tends to take longer to replace the bad with the good.

I once heard that it takes 10 compliments to erase the sting of just one mean criticism. Getting over a fear is a lot like this. You need way more good experiences to help remove the effects of just one or two bad ones.

Alex's patient and calm personality can only serve to help him. Many people aren't patient, and they're the ones who are going to struggle more with something like this.

[bizzymum]

Birds are VERY visual and the beard made him a different person. I cannot wear scarfs around my Catalina because she will literally attack me and I can just take it off and she says "hello?" like where were you?? Your son will just have to start a "new" relationship with her and let her know that this person loves and will care for her too.

[KimBear]

While it's certainly true that parrots are very visual, they don't literally think you're a different person when there's a change in appearance. They are smarter than that, but when it comes to something new, a particular bird may react so that it seems they do think we're someone else. Parrots don't just rely on faces, hair, etc. Our body language and voice help tell our birds who we are, and those things don't change as easily. Wearing our hair differently, wearing nail polish, jewelry, etc. are all potential "freak out" worthy occurances for some parrots, while others won't care at all.

It's often a matter of how much change in general a parrot is able to adapt to easily. Take a bird who was raised in an environment with many different people, pets and environmental changes and you'll likely have a bird that doesn't spook as easily. This is why some variety in a bird's early experience is important, but there's likely some genetic personality factors we can't do anything about.

It's true of other pets, too. Dogs and horses, especially.

[Basket Case]

Hatchet seems to be doing a bit better with Alex. She even went to get up on his shoulder then she looked at him and backed off. Another idea I have come up with is that Hatchet see's Alex play with his cockatiels. Hatchet is terrifed of the cockatiels when they are out. We may try moving them to another room so she won't see him with them. We have until January when we start traveling for my other son's gymnastics compatitons. Then Alex will be taking care of her for a few days at time.