How To Stuff Your Cockatoo On Thanksgiving

[Nehocmom]

I don't know who wrote this but I laugh everytime I read it.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving

HOW TO STUFF YOUR COCKATOO ON THANKSGIVING
Ingredients:
Turkey
Stuffing
Sweet Potatoes
Mashed Potatoes with Gravy
Green Beans
Cranberry Sauce
Hot rolls and Butter
Relish tray
Pumpkin Pie with Whipped Cream
Hot Coffee

Get up early in the morning & have a cup of coffee. It's going to be a long day, so place your Cockatoo on a perch nearby to keep you company while you prepare the meal.
Remove Cockatoo from kitchen counter and return him to perch.
Prepare stuffing, and remove Cockatoo from edge of stuffing bowl and return him to perch.
Stuff turkey & place it in the roasting pan, and remove Cockatoo from edge of pan and return him to perch. Have another cup of coffee to steady your nerves.
Remove Cockatoo's head from turkey cavity and return him to perch, and restuff the turkey.
Prepare relish tray, and remember to make twice as much so that you'll have a regular size serving after the Cockatoo has eaten his fill. Remove Cockatoo from kitchen counter and return him to perch.
Prepare cranberry sauce, discard berries accidentally flung to the floor by Cockatoo.
Peel potatoes, remove Cockatoo from edge of potato bowl and return him to perch.
Arrange sweet potatoes in a pan & cover with brown sugar & mini marshmallows. Remove Cockatoo from edge of pan and return him to perch. Replace missing marshmallows.
Brew another pot of coffee. While it is brewing, clean up the torn filter. Pry coffee bean from Cockatoo beak. Have another cup of coffee & remove Cockatoo from kitchen counter and return him to perch.

When time to serve the meal:
Place roasted turkey on a large platter, and cover beak marks with strategically placed sprigs of parsley.
Put mashed potatoes into serving bowl, rewhip at last minute to conceal beak marks and claw prints.
Place pan of sweet potatoes on sideboard, forget presentation as there's no way to hide the areas of missing marshmallows.
Put rolls in decorative basket, remove Cockatoo from side of basket and return him to perch.
Remove beaked rolls, serve what's left.
Set a stick of butter out on the counter to soften - think better and return it to the refrigerator.
Wipe down counter to remove mashed potato claw tracks. Remove Cockatoo from kitchen counter and return him to perch.
Cut the pie into serving slices. Wipe whipped cream off Cockatoo's beak and place large dollops of remaining whipped cream on pie slices.
Whole slices are then served to guests, beaked-out portions should be reserved for host & hostess.
Place Cockatoo inside cage & lock the door.
Sit down to a nice relaxing dinner with your family – accompanied by plaintive cries of "WANT DINNER!" from the other room.

[Nehocmom]

Sorry about the duplicate post.

[4HAND]

Ain't it the truth!I don't have a Too,but trying to get anything done with a flighted parrot in the house can be frustratingThe only thing different at my house is I'd switch from coffee to wine after the first pot.

[KimM]

What a riot! I'm printing this. I cracked up reading this!

[catonroof]

So funny, had to laugh out loud. Its like my kitchen every day. I could of wrote this myself ---- thanks for making my day...

[nailsrglue]

That was hilarious and very joyful. Happy holidays.

[Herby]

There is an Australian version but from a different angle.

How to cook a cocky.

Take a pot of boiling water & 1 prepared cocky.
Throw in the cocky & one old dry leather boot.
Cook continuously until the boot is soft.
Throw away the cocky & eat the boot.