What is the Right thing to do?!

[hcarey]

LOL Sunshine is in perfect feather. And I never had her sexed, but I do believe she is a He as well. But she has always been my baby regardless of her sex. I am sure some of you can imagine a horrible situation, but she is out in the living room in a huge cage by the sliding glass door, fed very well, has toys, and gets treats. She doesn’t seem like a stressed out bird. It is like this... Daddy's home and if he won't talk to me, or let me out I will make him miserable by making lots of noise. It really pushes his buttons! He tries to ignore her, but she is pretty persistent! Or if we try to go anywhere else in the house and she can't see us, she starts in. So if anyone is stressed out it's the humans! I know that bird is controlling us and has been for a long time. I remember when we didn't used to use a cover on her cage at night and she was in the living room. We would sit in the dark and watch TV. so she would be quiet. Visitors thought we were crazy! Oh and we don't have many visitors due to the fact that someone will have to bird sit to keep her calm. She just wants to play and be a part of everything. Apparently I lack the ability to implement discipline and structure and have not learned how to not spoil the bird and let her get away with murder.
I just spoke to my husband at lunch and he said the usual. Don’t worry, we will manage and we will live in harmony with the bird and she isn’t going anywhere. But I am sure we will be right back where we were usually end up.
And Yes, Sunshine I’m sure is a boy. Has never laid an egg and likes to try and hump my husband when he does handle her. Another Button!!! Sunshine doesn’t do that to me.
We have a Green Cheeked Conure on the other side of the living room; they can see and talk to one another and a small dog that loves to get treats from Sunshine throwing them out of her cage to him. And they do communicate (all 3 of them), but I keep Joe bird the Conure on the other side of the living room cause he loves to get all adventurous and fly on her cage, or fly down to the chair and want to play with Rocky the dog. Joe Bird has no fear! But we have always been afraid that if Sunshine gets carried away with that huge beak, well then Joe would be toast! She could snap his little head off in a blink of an eye and not mean to! Same with the Dog! So we let them communicate, but not physically.

Maybe I need to find some people with Birds that they could visit with! Anyone know where I can find a Birdie day Spa? We moved to Nothern California 3 years ago and I have to admit, we don't know anyone. It is nothing like San Diego where you had lots of bird stores, places to take them, places to buy tons of toys. It seems very limited out here.

[Amie]

Oh, I'm pretty sure you're doing the right thing by keeping the conure and the Too separated.

Maybe Sunshine needs to be out of the family room? The only time my ekkie screams other than to say Hello when we walk in is when she's trying to nap, and we're doing too much by her cage. It's her "SHUT UP!!" scream. (totally different kind of beast, granted)

Hm, if he is humping your husband, maybe the bites are because he's picked your husband as his mate, and your husband hasn't reciprocated the love. Maybe your husband is actually the key to getting everything back on track?

[hcarey]

Well, all the other animals seem to favor him, and kids too! Im just the Caregiver. I feed them, bathe them, take them out, pet them, take care of them.
So how should he respond to the bird? The Humping his hand just pisses him off.

Yeah before she drive him nuts he got her to do most of her tricks and talking, knows just what the animals will need or like, and has built them stands and perches. Heck when Sunshine was a baby he took a big wicker basket and covered the handle with rope for her to be comfortable on it, she liked to play on her basket with her toys and sit perched up there when we would take her places or at home. It's like he knows exactly what they want and what they enjoy.
So how can I fix them?

[hcarey]

And yeah! I keep telling him the surround sound is too much and they don't like it, not to mention the 70" T.V. that he turns on the moment he gets home. And if she screams he just turns it up more!!! Maybe I need to put him in a cage?!

[Amie]

Haha, it sounds as if you have a hubby problem, not a bird problem!!

Well, the best way to get a bird to stop doing something is to not react verbally. So, when he goes to "love up" on your hubby, why don't you try immediately putting him back in his cage without actually saying anything? Does your bird have a play gym in another room? Maybe when hubby gets home, he can let Sunshine out of her cage and bring him/her to the Play Gym so that he/she isn't just out when "mommy is home." I'm not sure. My mom is the one with the Too experience, and she only fostered them and got them healthy and made them happier so they could go to their forever home.

Maybe a parrot behaviorist could be called in. You'd have to get someone in California to recommend one to you. He could teach you and your hubby how to handle all of Sunshine's different issues and let you know what the problems are most likely to be.

[hcarey]

Yeah I think you are correct! Anyone want a pain in the neck Husband cheep? j/k

[huntress]

I already have one of those Im looking to rehome,LOL. Have you thought about moving the bird to a different room? I dont mean isolating her, I just mean getting her out of his TV room and maybe into another room you frequent more than he does. A bird room of sorts? I have a bird room for my small breeders and they have a TV and A CD player that plays all kinds of bird+music or nature sounds all day everyday. They have the company of other birds as well and some plants and timed lighting. They seem happy and healthy. I cannot spend as much time with them as i do my pets but it gives them social and visual and audio stimulation all day. Maybe you could do this for your bird and spend some time in there with her each day. Maybe put her a friend in there too. Hey, its got to be better than what could happen to her being pushed from one place to another.

[SDavid]

"Apparently I lack the ability to implement discipline and structure and have not learned how to not spoil the bird and let her get away with murder."

Don't blame yourself. If it's true that cockatoos see an average of seven homes in a lifetime then your apparently not the only one with this problem. Don't know for sure but I get the feeling that it's a myth propagated by those in the industry that we can teach our household rules to a wild animal.

I can't really top the advice you've gotten so far but I'll say that I sense in your tone that you would be really heartbroken and regret it if you gave Sunshine up. Take a quiet moment to yourself and try to imagine life without him there. If that upsets you very much then maybe you could try (if possible) to make a lifestyle change that allows you more time with him or to do whatever you think it takes. For instance, if you work fewer hours. Sure it's a pay cut but it may be worth it. Or, another job altogether. I changed my job shift, in part, because of my birds. So, it's not entirely insane. They ARE a big part of our lives.

I think the "behaviorist" is good advice. Seems worth it to try to save yourself the heartbreak of giving up a long time family member.

[sweetpeaches]

sdavid...so lovingly put...it was so hard for me to re-home my lovebird after just a year, i can't imagine trying to do it after 10!!! it's only been 2 days and i still miss her terrible.

[hcarey]

Awwwwww, Thanks! Yes I would be pretty upset. This may sound crazy, but it is like giving up a child! Been trying to wait till I could 'handle it", but I have to admit...No matter what, I love that darn bird. Perhaps I will seek some assistance before giving up all together. Some of the suggestions I have read here from you all have helped me think their maybe some hope. Thats why I posted. I needed someone on the outside that knows all about our feathered friends to help me see a bit clearer. Thank you all!