What is the Right thing to do?!

[hcarey]

I have a delimia to deal with. I have a 10 yr old Umbrella Cockatoo that I love very much, however, the noise has gotton really old over the last 10 years and I find I feel like I am just about done, but I also know I would miss her. She doesn't get all that much attention since I work and she is usually covered up before I get home. My husband gets home before I do and has to deal with a screming bird till it's dark enough to cover her for the night. They do not get along anymore and he never did want that bird in the first place, so a few too many bites and screaming sessions and he refuses to touch or let out that bird. This is a daily thing and has been for many years. There is no chance on him ever liking the bird, but he knows how much I love the bird and he loves me and wants me to be happy, and so we put up with this for year end and year out. Weekends are worse or when I see the behavior more since I am home. If I pay more attention to her she seems better, but it is just never enough, I used to love to spend the time, and I still do some of the time, but I can't seem to get a hold on this. We do have early mornings times and my birds are fed veggies, and sliced fruit, a seed mix and her favorite is Mini bagle toasted with creem cheese in pieces, I know she is spoiled, and I have a creature of my own making, but I don't think I have what it takes to be the best bird mother, nor is the enviroment very good if I am the only one who has any positive attention time to spend with her. I have been considering finding her a new home and have off and on for many years. I Love her and have had her since she was 3 months old! She is my Baby, but being controlled by a screaming bird dosen't seem right for the humans or the bird. I have found someone I can give her to that loves birds, but I am just not sure it is the right thing to do. I have tried and failed many times at many positive suggestions, but it is still the same in the end, everytime I am not here and my Husband is, that bird will screm if he is out of her sight, and in her sight. It's difficut for him to make dinner or clean or do anything around the house without that bird screaming, and she does the same things to me, but not as bad, or I tolerate it more. If he is home early or is sick at home it's a scream fest for most of his day. If I am home sick, she keeps pretty quiet most of the time. I have gone as far as to go meet a potentioal new mother for the bird, as I mentioned earlier, and they got alog very well, but I have some concerns I Love my pets, but I just can't decide what to do. Any opinions would be greatly appreciated.

Confused U2 Mom

[cbalvino]

I am a rehomer,I update all of the prev homes with updates,I have 44 birds,the prev owners know I love them I also have the time and resources to care for them along with a bird room, rehome her if you "know " this person will love her and have the resources of time money space and personal devotion to care for her every day is work but I LOVE my job

[EngTeach]

There is a pretty straight forward answer for your delima: If you can't spend as much time with your bird as you should, and you find yourself not really wanting to spend the little time you do have with your bird, find it a home where it will get all the attention that it deserves. I know after 10 years that letting go will be tough, but really, doen'st he deseve the love? And don't you want what is best for him? It IS a simple answer to an emotionally complicated problem, and probably one of the toughest things you'll have to do for your pets well-being.

[ljhassell]

Cockatoos go through on average 7 homes in their lifetime. We love our birds and have made lifetime commitments to 12, Im sure we will do more, but I too Love my job!

[Xen]

I just couldn't imagine getting rid of my conures after 10 years because their noise 'got old'

Eng Teach is right... it's a simple answer. Give the bird to someone who will love her for her and treat her right, not like a pest. Were you unaware that cocktoos are loud and needy?

I don't own a Cockatoo, however I have a sun and a gc conure. I researched and know full well these can be noisy birds, but like ljhassel said... I've made 'lifetime commitments' to them and they wont go anywhere because an atribute that they are famous for gets 'old'

[my-africangrey-echo]

I have never had a too so I can only give what input I know about FIDS in general. The screaming is probably because she wants more from you than you are able to give her. This is not just a behavior issue Too's require several hours of one on one attention every day and giving her to someone that has the ability to give her that is just like the saying loving someone enough to let them go. She also probably knows how your husband feels and will react to him accordingly. Therefore I must agree with what has already been said. If you know the person then the possibility of seeing her once she is re homed is maybe something that can continue once she has adjusted fully to her new home. Either way this is a painful decision for you and I wish you luck in your decision. Chris

[huntress]

If she is screaming incessantly she is unhappy. Need not say more - give her to an honest ,clean, expirienced Cockatoo owner. Dont expect money. Think about the bird.

[hcarey]

7 Homes for a Cockatoo? Well I was under the impression that I was in this for life, as long as I am alive, but it is like a living hell sometimes.
I really Love my bird and want the best for her, but with me, but that seems impossible. I am so afraid I will not be able to deal with the grief of giving her away. As mentioned early in the replys. It is the hardest decision to make, since I want to do what's best for her.
I appreciate all the replys so quickly. Thank You. I have wanted to post this for a very long time. I apreciate the opinions from you all.

[hcarey]

Originally Posted by Xen

I just couldn't imagine getting rid of my conures after 10 years because their noise 'got old'

Eng Teach is right... it's a simple answer. Give the bird to someone who will love her for her and treat her right, not like a pest. Were you unaware that cocktoos are loud and needy?

I don't own a Cockatoo, however I have a sun and a gc conure. I researched and know full well these can be noisy birds, but like ljhassel said... I've made 'lifetime commitments' to them and they wont go anywhere because an atribute that they are famous for gets 'old'

I knew she was loud and noisy and messy, and personally I can deal with it most of the time, block it out, overlook the comotion and just hold her and love her to death, Play "Get the Ball", and all kinds of neat tricks. So much love and so much pain and I do want to keep her forever, and my husband says You can't get rid of her, you LOVE that bird. But it just keeps happening and I talk to him on my way home from work and the bird is screming her head off in the background. God I feel like such a failure. Yeah a bunch of emotional junk. I also have a Green Cheeked Conure and he is messy, a bit loud at times and not nearly as entertaining as my Too, he is pretty old and I will keep him till it's his time. I Love my pets and thats why I keep living in this situation. (Does that make any since?)

[Xen]

Are you willing to or do you have scope to change to help the bird become happy in your home? Your bird isn't stuck behaving this way, but she's not going to change until she sees changes from you and your husband. Lots of people work and have happy and healthy birds... so if you want to keep her, it's not a lost cause, but she can't stay in the situation that she's in, she can sense everything.

If you're not, or can't... then you've answered your own initial question.