tough choice...need advice

[kbennett]

I am thinking of taking tango and paco back to the pet store...not ebcause i dont want them because i do but my husband is probably deploying on Jan 11th and if he does i wont handle tango because he bites me so that means he wont be handled for more then a year and paco....he's such a sweet heart and i know i'll cry if i take him back but he deserves a mommy and daddy who can buy him the toys he needs and provide him more love then we can and have more experience then us....plus in a few years we are gona have kids and I dont want the birds to end up feeling neglected because they will have to take a back burner to the baby(s).....guys help....what would you do?

[weareoceansaway]

I'm in the military also, and I deploy every once in a while. While I was away, my husband took care of my daughter (she'll be eighteen months in a little less than a week)...it was hard. He WAS in the military and was gone for eight months when Aleena was first born; I bought a small fish tank because I couldn't stand being alone. Then, when I went away, my hubby fostered cats because he couldn't stand being alone. Now that we're both home (he got out, and I'm done with my degree so I'll be getting out next year) we had to move and no longer foster kitties. We're more bird people, and he has a soft spot for dumbo rats.

I can't tell you what would be best for you and what won't. I don't have as much bird experience as other people on this site either. My only advice is to talk to your hubby about Tango and perhaps take the time away to work with Tango yourself, slowly of course because nothing happens in a day. It will help keep your mind off the deployment also, and trust me you'll need the distractions.

As for having kiddos in a few years; I have Aleena and Phoenix. Its just a concentrated effort to include Phoenix in our every day lives, just like we include Aleena. I've recently bought Phoenix a flight suit so she can go on daily errands with me. When we're all home, as long as we're supervising closely, we let her out for play time and my hubby and I take turns playing with both our daughter and Phoenix. We also go to hobby shops and make toys ourselves; my hubby loves working with his hands and I enjoy making the toys! It works out financially when you make the toys yourself, we found that out quick!

Like I said, I don't know your whole situation, but this is how we make our family work. We do move a lot, I can possibly still go on one more deployment, but we try hard to not let that break us to pieces. Just trust me, if this is his first deployment and you don't have any family in your state or any support system, you might want to at least give it a try; you might realize it was better in the long run to keep you occupied and to keep some familiar noises in your home.

Take care, your in my thoughts! Whatever you decide will be right, just remember that okay? ^-^

[CRToon83]

I think you already have made your decision. If you're not going to handle the bird, it's cruel IMO to keep it for a year with no interaction. And if you're going to have kids soon... yeah I don't think that right now is the proper time in your life to have birds.

[weareoceansaway]

Originally Posted by CRToon83

I think you already have made your decision. If you're not going to handle the bird, it's cruel IMO to keep it for a year with no interaction. And if you're going to have kids soon... yeah I don't think that right now is the proper time in your life to have birds.

I agree don't keep the bird if you won't try to work with it....

But you don't think that maybe she would give it an attempt? I'd rather see someone giving it their best shot before trying to rehome them Russell.

Of course, if you don't want to interact with the birdie at all, yes it would be better.

IMHO there would technically be no right time to own a bird if you wait until the time is 'perfect'. Some live for too long, and after you pass on others might not want to take such an older bird. There are always moves, rough financial patches, new kiddos or grand kiddies. Of course, it all depends on how the people take care of those patches too. That's just my honest honest opinion, not trying to ruffle feathers.

[Greycloud]

I understand your predicament. This must be a very hard choice for you to make. First, do you know for a fact the store will take the birds back after so much time? If you need to rehome them, I would rather they go right back into a loving avian home, instead of sitting in a petstore? Where do you live by the way? weareocenasaway gave some good points. You are facing being alone for awhile. Would not a bird be good company? I understand your concerns with Tango. Maybe rehoming him would be best for him. Someone could work with him and get him socialized. As far as Paco is concerned, you really love this little guy. Will you be sorry you gave him up? He obviously has a bond with you. But, you have to look at the care your birds are recieving. If you are unable to provide them with proper food, out of cage time, and toys, it is not fair to them. You say you want to eventually have children, thats wonderful. Will you still be able to give the bird the compassion that they need? Sometimes we have to put our birds before ourselves, even though it hurts. My heart goes out to you, with this difficult decision. Rehoming, in my opinion is better then sending back to the store. Tango will sit there forever because he has a biting problem. Paco would probably sell quickly but would you be comfortable not knowing who he went to?
I wish I had answers for you. You are going to be maintaining a household on you own. You will have to come to terms with how much you think you can handle on your own. You don't have to rush into anything. Maybe rehome Tango to someone with bird experience and keep Paco and see how things go. You may enjoy the company, even though there is expense and time involved. I hope I helped some and didn't confuse you more. Judy

[Emmilyy]

If you do have to find a new home for him, i think you should look into a parrot rescue, or find someone willing to take them that have experience with birds.

I know you said you can't afford to lose the 700 or so dollars you paid for him and his set up.. but i really don't get that. How long ago did you buy him? when you bought him, did you *plan* on selling him again later so you could get your money back?

[kbennett]

Originally Posted by Greycloud

I understand your predicament. This must be a very hard choice for you to make. First, do you know for a fact the store will take the birds back after so much time? If you need to rehome them, I would rather they go right back into a loving avian home, instead of sitting in a petstore? Where do you live by the way? weareocenasaway gave some good points. You are facing being alone for awhile. Would not a bird be good company? I understand your concerns with Tango. Maybe rehoming him would be best for him. Someone could work with him and get him socialized. As far as Paco is concerned, you really love this little guy. Will you be sorry you gave him up? He obviously has a bond with you. But, you have to look at the care your birds are recieving. If you are unable to provide them with proper food, out of cage time, and toys, it is not fair to them. You say you want to eventually have children, thats wonderful. Will you still be able to give the bird the compassion that they need? Sometimes we have to put our birds before ourselves, even though it hurts. My heart goes out to you, with this difficult decision. Rehoming, in my opinion is better then sending back to the store. Tango will sit there forever because he has a biting problem. Paco would probably sell quickly but would you be comfortable not knowing who he went to?
I wish I had answers for you. You are going to be maintaining a household on you own. You will have to come to terms with how much you think you can handle on your own. You don't have to rush into anything. Maybe rehome Tango to someone with bird experience and keep Paco and see how things go. You may enjoy the company, even though there is expense and time involved. I hope I helped some and didn't confuse you more. Judy

Thanks this is what I was hoping/needing to hear. I dont have the ability to get the toys he needed like I thought i would...Petco did take him back cause it hadn't been 15 days since we got paco but im so mad at petco because of the way they handled giving me my money back but htats a whole other story.

[kbennett]

Originally Posted by Emmilyy

If you do have to find a new home for him, i think you should look into a parrot rescue, or find someone willing to take them that have experience with birds.

I know you said you can't afford to lose the 700 or so dollars you paid for him and his set up.. but i really don't get that. How long ago did you buy him? when you bought him, did you *plan* on selling him again later so you could get your money back?

i bought him less then 2 weeks ago...I really thought I could do it but the past couple days things have happened like finding out my husband is going overseas for more then a year have made me rethink many things and I feel better knowing that at least at the store the lady who takes care of the birds will play with Paco rather then him just play on the stands and on the cage we had for him

[Emmilyy]

ohh, for some reason I thought you'd had them longer..

[xafsmom]

Sounds like you made the right decision for yourself and it seems your birds. It's a good thing that Petco honored your regret purchase and refunded the money. However, having babies isn't an end all to bird keeping. I am a single parent and have been from month 4 of my daughter's life. I had birds throughout and more than enough time to keep them happy as well as my child. So, just something to consider down the road if you want another bird.