Payno, The Parrotpomorphically and Parrothetically (non) Speaking Half-Moon Conure

[sless13]

Payno (short for Jalapeno) is a two year old Half-Moon Conure (aka Orange-Fronted Conure and Orange-Fronted Parakeet) who was born in Mexico and resides in a humble adobe abode in Churintzio, Michoacan.
If he could talk human-style, which he decidely does not, with a unique and persistent attitude this is pretty much be what he would have to say...

Buenas dias, mi nombre es Payno. Or for you Norte-Americanos who all seem quite informal, hi my name is Payno. However, let's get this beakingly clear from the get go, either by aptitude or attitude, I am not so disposed to parrot those or any other words on Spanish, English, or any other language known to man. For me, such unnatural, unparrotpalatable, and unnecessary verbal "this non-Polly does not want a cliche cracker" polygotary is "no importa"-it is not important. Observe me for a while and it will become apparent that comprendo mucho (Espanol y Ingles) but hablo nada. Demonstrably, I can certainly communicate effectively from sunrise to sunset in many other modes. Yet, it seems to me that, except for my non-winged mate, Les, virtually all humans, obviously (better yet, make that obliviously) having been culturally trained through operant conditioning, when first making my acquaintance are concerned about only three things- first they ask "cuanto cuesta?"/ "how much did he cost?"-then they querry"puede hablar?"'/"can he speak?"- and finally, when discovering that I do not habla (at least not in that way based on human-centric expectaions), rather condescendingly and parrotonizingly (albeit accurately and astutely) react by saying "well, at least he is quite beautiful."

Eek, eek, eek!!! Upon hearing that, all that I can do is shake my feathers and wonder why people are so materialistic, superficial, shallow, and judgmental. Such remarks are bird brained-oops apologies flappingly extended to my avian brothers and sisters, I mean Homo sapien brained! Can't they ever see beyond themselves. Moreover, aren't they able to discern, accept, appreciate, and acknowledge not only similarities but also individual variations within groups? Eek, eek, eek!!! Sorry about that screaming diatribe, but please understand that those three questions/remarks are perched at the extreme pinnacle of my ever expanding list of human peeves. You see, there is much more to my colorful, passionate, playful, whimsical, creative, inquisitive, independent, boisterous, responsive, and expressive essence than cost, artificially contrived linguistic ability, and feathered loveliness. A parrot puppet plaything I certainly am not.

Give me a break!- or at least some sunflower seeds.

[hollyhawkz]

LOL, Well, Welcome to BirdBoard Sless13 and Panyo! Sounds like you'll fit right in!

[xMemory]

Welcome to birdboard {:

fotos? ;}

[sless13]

To be consistent and true to himself, Payno has requested that his image not be sent on the Internet.
Les, on the other hand, would be most proud to do so but does not have any pictures to show as he and his wife, Maria, are camera-less. If I said tha Payno looked like the typical Half-Moon he would take offense at that so...

[Eliza]

Les, I must insist that you somehow bribe Payno into allowing some photos to be posted once a camera can be procured. I ADORE half-moon conures and your Payno sounds like a TRIP!

Welcome to the boards. I look forward to hearing more Payno stories :)

[sless13]

PAYNO CONURTINUED

Yet, as my intent is for you to acquire a genuine appreciation and a below surface understanding of me, I must initially describe myself rather generally and superficially (alas, at times even I am subject to communicating in such a human-like manner). Scientifically speaking (thank goodness, at least no one that I've come across expects me to speak Latin), I am an Aratinga Canicularis. In Southwestern Mexico where flocks and flocks of my ancestors, despite rampant poaching (you see, I am not known to be parrotically correct but Les wants you to know for sure that I was bred in captivity) have survived and thrived, I am more generically known by Mexican hoi polloi (Greek, Latin, English, Spanish it's all the same to me) as un perico o un loro. Oftentimes, in English, my brethren are also referred to as Orange-Fronted Parakeets (Dios mio, me a parakeet, eek, eek, eek what a misnomer!) or more realistically but less cosmically as an Orange-Fronted Conure. Sometimes, un-parrot savy and/or color blind ones confuse me with the Peach-Fronted Conure. More precisely and more in tune with my lofty and highly flighty (in a non-parrotjurative manner) cosmic nature, I am labeled as being a Half-Moon Conure. Since conures are hooked-billed birds, as are por ejemplo lovebirds, cockatoos, macaws, lories, cockatiels, and parakeets, I am included in the family of parrots.

At slightly under 10" long from the tip of my tail to the sharp point of my horn-colored beak and tipping the scales at 3 ounces, mas o menos, some people call me a miniature or pocket parrot. Be that as it may, you can be assured that despite my diminutive stature, this proud, forthright, non-duplicitous, hyperkinetic, demonstrative, spirited, loquacious, assertive, playful, intelligent, and irrepressible PARROT is much more than a handful.

As for the derivation of my name that MUST wait till another time as the sun is about to rise and Les knows his priorities... FEEDING ME!

[chapala]

Hi! Somone else from Mexico! I'm in Jalisco at the west end of Lake Chapala. Love the Half-moon conures, though so many of them are illegally trapped in the wild.

We have two wild-caught re-homes, but I do hate the wild trapping that goes on here. 77% of the birds that are trapped or taken from nests do not survive to reach a buyer. Such a horrific waste of parrot lives.

[hollyhawkz]

Dear Panyo,

It is my understanding that you don't speak, however it sure appears that you do text very well. So much so in fact your guardian, does not seem to be able to get a word in edgewise. Please don't forget to let your guardian have some time at the computer so we can get to know them as well.

Thanks you for your wise conure understanding, Panyo! Until we text again......

[sless13]

Dear Hollyhawkz,

Perhaps in the next episode of MY STORY I may reward and treat you to a morsel or two about Les and Maria with un poco of parrotic license thrown in. But be forewarned, if you think that I am (being true to myself and my species) self-centered, egotistiscal, self-absorbed, narcisista,and self-consumed you may not really want to give Les a voice as (just ask Maria) he makes me look like MotherTeresa.

Eek, eek, eek...
Senor Payno

[sless13]

PAYNO CONURTINUED

As for my name, that was given to me by Les the day that he (for want of a much better term, eek, eek, eek) "purchased" me at the expansive open retail market in Zamora. That virtually non-Spanish speaking gringo decided to name me Payno (short for Jalapeno) because my coloration of different shades of green, yellow eye ring, and orange crescent highlight (somehow my blue-tipped wings and my blue-green crown flew right past him) is strikingly reminiscent of that aforementioned chili pepper. Yet, it was just as obvious to him from day one that my person eek I mean parrotality, even at three months old, was all degrees of spicy- so much so, that Les jokingly (I think) tells me that as he got to know me better once I literally and figuratively began to spread my wings and began to find my screaming voice, he should have named me Habie, which is short for the even more intensely spicy habanero chili. Nor do I find it parroticularly funny when my normally parrot sensitive and understanding beakless and wingless mate kiddingly (again, I think) says to me "you are such a Payno en el cuello" which is so-called Mexican (or is that ex-parrotriate) humor for "pain in the neck."