Kim, I need your help.

[mamalovesrico]

Hi Kim, I have a concern with my 20 month old male Umbrella Cockatoo, Rico. I'm going to try and keep this as short as possible with as much background as possible.
Rico and I have been very close and we've gone through a lot of hard, but well worth it work in the past to make sure he is well behaved and has as many social skills as possible. Still working on the social skills. My avian vet is awesome and absolutely loves Rico.
Well, over the past month I've noticed some little changes in him. Started with him having behaviors that looked like he was aggrivated. Beak knocking. The beak knocking has increased. Now it's beak knocking and another behavior. He puts his beak on the countertop and will run across the countertop. Not sure what this means. These are not my main concerns but wanted to let you know of these behaviors since they might all add up.
Last week I had a relative pass away. I found out Thursday. For the first time Rico saw me crying. I've been trying to cry out of his sight. The one time he saw me cry I could tell he was confused or concerned, hence why I started crying out of his sight.
My mom came to town Friday and her and I took off for the funeral out of town for the weekend. My husband stayed home with the bird over the weekend. Yesterday, I had Rico on my hand while my mom was walking past me. Rico reached out and grabbed on to her shirt. I could tell my mom was scared. I reached around Rico's chest to pull him back and Rico bent over and gave me the worst bite I have ever had. He bit right through my thumb. The puncture is deep and very bad. I have lost all the feeling on the top of my thumb. Not bad enough to see a doctor and hoping the feeling will come back.
I just put him on his tree on the back porch. One of our cleaning ladies came out onto the bird room. Rico bent over and gave me another bite. Not as bad as I thought it would be.
I am now afraid to hold him, only because I'm afraid of him making my existing wounds worse. I'm not afraid of him, just of what he will do to my existing wounds and he know this. Everytime I try to get him to go in his cage or on his tree he lunge for one of my wounds because he knows I'll stop. I have received plenty of advice over the past couple of days but would like to hear what you have to say on why he might be doing this and what I can and need to do now.
I am so concerned and want to stop some of this behavior before he starts using it to his advantage.
Thanks so much,
Lara

[KimBear]

There could be any number of things going on here. One is that Rico is at an age at which he's starting to test his limits, and perhaps his patience is just not what it used to be. It may be that because of what's been happening in your home lately, he feels a bit on edge. Having your mom around, the change in routine and so on, may be confusing for him and he was just upset at that particular time. Once a parrot gets upset, the anger, fear or confusion they feel can feed on itself and the bird winds up in a bit of a tizzy, out of control and behaving quite badly. It reminds me of little kids who cry so hard they almost pass out. Or the old TV shows where hysterical women had to be slapped before they'd calm down.

Is Rico stick-trained? If so, use a stick to get him in and out of his cage so you don't put your hand in harm's way. Is your hand bandaged? Does he seem bothered by it, and look like he wants to go for that area? Maybe when you're working with him you can remove the bandage so your thumb looks "normal".

If he's not stick trained, you're afraid to let him out right now and there's no one else that can get him in and out for you, you may just need to let him chill in his cage for a few days while the two of you do a little re-bonding. He may not be thrilled about it, but if you're nervous about handling him, he's likely to sense it, and that could keep him on edge with you. You can do all sorts of things when he's in his cage--talking, singing, dancing, petting him through the bars--but you'll feel safe because you're not within striking distance.

Back things up to a level that you're comfortable with, where you feel calm and confident, and present only those sorts of "vibes" to him. If he gets nasty, don't push him. Don't immediately rush off, though. You don't want to teach him that he can bully you. Stand your ground in a calm matter, and as you see him start to settle down a bit, then you can walk away if you want.

Because fear is a tricky thing, both yours and his, it's important to keep it at a minimum when possible. Consider setting up a consult with me because should be able to help you address some of the things you're feeling.

[mamalovesrico]

Kim,
Thanks so much. Yes, Rico is stick trained and I will try using it to get him in and out of the cage. He's not one for going in his cage in the first place and my fault for not working with him on this a little more that I have.
The wound I received from him yesterday is too bad to let it go unbandaged. I did test him a little this afternoon. He went for the bandage and I let him go for it while I held my breath. I wanted to see what he would do if I did not react. Magic, he felt around the edges, gave me a couple little squeezes, since I didn't react he is no longer going for the bandage.
If it needs to be, I will keep him in his cage for a day, even though this will kill me. But as you said, better to keep the untrusting and fear to a minimum.
This afternoon I wanted him to know the bond between the two of us is still good so I went for neutral territory and took a shower with him. Afterwards I used the blow dryer on him because he loves it and he flaps his wings like a madman, helped get rid of some of the energy.
My mother brought something to my attention this weekend that I was not aware of. She told me Rico is very possessive of me. I have never noticed this, but since she brought it to my attention, I have recalled many instances in which she may be right. I'm thinking Rico might be on his way to over bonding with me and I want to stop this immediately. It's hard, it's winter, I can't take him outside to see my neighbors. I have a few things in mind in which I can do.
Kim, I have seriously considered making a consultation with you over the past two days. Give me a couple of days to see if I can work with Rico. I may make a consult with you anyway and continue it over the next few years just to make sure I stay on the right path. Rico is my little sweetheart and I want to make sure it stays that way for me and for everyone else we come in contact with.
Thank you so very much.
Lara

[TooLover]

Lara,
I am so glad you addressed this!
We had this problem with Buck Buck when we first got him. If anyone came near me he would bite me! I came to the conclusion that he was way to bonded to me. It has taken a year for him to trust hubby enough to bond with hubby as well, and anyone can now come around me and I don't get bit! My circumstances are a bit different as Buck was abused by his previous owner, and the woman was too scared to have anything to do with Buck.
I still believe that he was too bonded with me and I encouraged hubby to spend time with him, and it has worked.
I hope you can work this out with Rico. I love the cockatoos, however, they are complex little love muffins!
Good luck and keep us updated!
Hugs

[Lori L]

Lara on another note, I think you should see a doctor about your finger. The fact that you have lost feeling really concerns me, Rico could have severed a tendent (sp?). Please let me know.

[KimBear]

Loss of feeling in your thumb may be due to nerve damage which hopefully is just temporary, but it would be a good idea to see your doctor in case he or she feels you need antibiotics. It's very easy to get an infection on a hand since our hands come into contact with everything.

Becomming overly possessive of one person can be a real issue for cockatoos, and other parrots as well. Often what needs to happen is for the favored person to ignore the bird when its behaving badly towards other people, literally turning away or removing the bird from the situation. The other important key is for the other people in the home to develop their own relationships with the bird. There are many ways to do this, depending on how things stand at the time.

This whole thing can often be avoided when the bird is young by keeping cuddle time to a minimum and focusing more on games, tricks, and independent play. Making sure that everyone takes turns working with the young bird is important so it doesn't develop a sense that only one person is "in charge".

I think that a consult will help give you some ideas as to how to get Rico to be less focused on you and more interested in the other people around him. He won't be any less your friend--he'll hopefully become everyone's buddy. It's much better when a cockatoo is a member of the family rather than a spoiled little despot that has to have everything his or her way.

[mamalovesrico]

Kim, I do have nerve damage to my thumb. I also have nerve damage to the middle finger on my right hand that is slowly coming back and I assume the feeling will come back in my thumb also, hopefully!!! I've been keeping it very clean and used liquid bandaid on it and it is healing very quick.
There is only my husband and I in my household which makes it hard for socializing Rico in the winter so....I have planned my week to have different people over every day to visit me for lunch. Today was my father. I told my dad not to touch Rico but to talk to him and interact with him in different ways. I saw positive reactions from Rico.
Yesterday I also left Rico in his cage most of the day except for the shower. I also made sure he had 12 hours of sleep.
Today, interaction with my father and most of the morning in his cage. Came out once this morning for about 25 minutes. This afternoon we did a little exercising and he is now in his bird room and acting just fine.
I have completely bandaged both hands where need be and let Rico look at touch the bandages on both hands while my hands were laying on the table, everything went fine and he is no longer lunging at them .
I'm going to make our interaction times more frequent and for less periods of time. 1/2 hour or less instead of what I have been doing which is him on or with me for a good hour and a half each time.
One of my problems is that I do not work and am home all day with Rico. This will change, well me being home all day
Kim, so far things are improving within the past 24+ hours but I am still seriously considering a consult with you to make sure things continue to go smoothly. I will be in touch with you within the next week or two.