One demanding little lady

[GizmosGirl]

Hi all!

It so great to find so many bird lovers out there!

Does anyone have advice on handling a very demanding female cockatiel? We rescued a stray a year ago and she is an intelligent, very aware little bird (age unknown). Very early on she decided that I am her mate, which is very flattering (although I'm not that way inclined). The problem is that I am hardly at home (we got her for my husband who works from home) and she is really mad about it. When I am at home, she calls me to her and then hisses at me, and recently started biting herself after I returned from a business trip.

Whenever I can I spend time with her, giving her attention and talking to her and explaining why I cant be there. But she doesnt seem to be the forgiving type!

We thought she might relax a bit if she had a companion, so got her a mate, a 6mth year old boy, but she is not interested in him in the slightest and still sings mating songs to me. I would love to know how to help her to relax and accept her new friend, does anyone have any advice? Will she always consider me her mate and refuse to accept a male companion?

Help!

[4HAND]

Are you sure you have a she?I ask because of the statement about "mating song".If it is indeed a female of breeding age it's unlikely she would show interest in such a young male.It is also possible you could be sending her messages that she is your mate by petting or kissing her ao the back or under the wings.Pet her on the head only.If she tries to rub her underside against you discourage it and move her away.Do not provide anything she would percieve as a nestbox,such as a happy hut or empty tissue box.In time she may show interest in the male,but my tiel has always preffered people over other birds.
Tena

[GizmosGirl]

Well she has never been tested, and her colouring is ambiguous, but we have assumed she is a she because of the way she courts me. She pushes her haunches up and makes little squeaks. I am new to birds and didnt realise what this was for a while and accidentally encouraged her by kissing her while she does this. She also liked it if you rub her tail (again an accident - I am not molesting my bird!).

How should I discourage her from seeing me as her mate, without inducing anxiety on her part?

[birdlady49]

Sounds like a male to me as well. Can you post photos?

Try gradually reducing the amount of daylight s/he receives to 10 hours, even if it means covering the cage. So, yes, s/he will get 14 hours of darkness and sleep. This will tell his/her internal clock that breeding season is over.

At the same time, try rearranging the toys and perches in the cage. This will offer a distraction so there will be other things to concentrate on. Maybe even move the cage to another part of the house .... a part that is still part of human traffic and not a place where there is no interaction.

If you're petting his/her back, stop doing that. That's stimulating.

If you "run" to him/her everytime there is screaming, stop stop stop. Stop doing that because the bird will know what has to be done to get your attention.

As a last resort, cut back a bit on the fresh food. Again, this will tell his/her internal clock that breeding season is over.

[tielfan]

Use positive reinforcement (attention and/or a treat) to encourage behavior that you like. Ignore undesirable behavior, including calmly withdrawing your attention if she starts something while you're playing with her.

You can also use positive reinforcement to do some simple trick training, with or without a clicker. This is a very positive way for humans and birds to interact, and during the training sessions she'll be too busy earning rewards to hump your hand.

[4HAND]

How should I discourage her from seeing me as her mate, without inducing anxiety on her part?

She's gonna feel rejected,but in the long run she'll be a happier bird.
Tena

[GizmosGirl]

Here is a photo. We thought she was a male when we took her in, but she clearly wants to be mounted - is this enough to indicate she is a female?

At the moment she gets about 10-11hrs daylight, so we will try reducing it a little. I am giving her as much positive attention as possible, although she still hisses at me when she first sees me. Now when she does this I turn my back on her and walk away. I am trying to be like a bird and indicate that I am choosing to ignore her when she acts out. If she is on my hand and starts giving me attitude, i just tell her 'no' and put her on the floor for a few minutes. When I come back to her I try to sound happy to see her and calm, hoping that it is clear that I am only unhappy when she is doing something undesirable. She is a bit better now that my husband is at home again, and is slowly accepting the new bird in the house. She just seems to have a remarkably long memory when it comes to grudges!

Thanks for the great advice.

[birdlady49]

Since s/he is a pied mutation, it is impossible to visibly sex this cutie pie. There are males who crouch down and appear to want to be mounted too. (They usually do that for attention.) So that's not a clearcut way of sexing.

The breeder cannot sex this bird through genetics either, since the pied mutation is not sex-linked.

So pretty much take the advice given in this thread and hope for the best. Be patient above all.

[Monica]

She pushes her haunches up and makes little squeaks. I am new to birds and didnt realise what this was for a while and accidentally encouraged her by kissing her while she does this. She also liked it if you rub her tail

Sounds female


Looks Female too

In pieds you cannot sex them by their facial feathers, however depending on the amount of grey in their flights and tail feathers you should be able to still sex them by the lack of or presence of spots and stripes. I have yet to NOT see this hold true... My Tomi Girl is a pied and she has the spots and stripes. Casey is a cinnamon pearl pied, and she also has the stripes n spots. I've seen two pied males (one in person, one in pics) who DID NOT have stripes or spots.



Other than distracting her or ignoring her when she does this behavior I can't say there's much you can do....

If it helps any I have caught some of those female sounds on video... that the girls do...
YouTube - PG-13 Cockatiel