Very new to having lovebird, Please help.

[shosh]

He's a lovely bird!!! and obviously attached to you...
Lovebirds need some seeds and also pellets.....Pellets are more nutritionally complete than just seeds alone and have lots of good things in them that seeds don't ( especially for lovebirds.) You can go out and buy some zupreem pellets for small birds,( lovebird/cockatiel size or budgie size works well, too)( they are often easy to find) ,but try for the natural ones, not the fruity ones. If they don't have them, ask the store for a good pellet. The fruity ones are best to avoid because they have sugar and colours and the sugars, especially, aren't healthy.
So that's that....some seeds, pellets, and fruits and veggies ( mainly veggies...my lovebirds aren't big on fruits.) Try peas and carrots ( use canned ONLY if they have no added sugar or salt), broccoli, peppers....whatever you can think of....NO avocado or rhubarb ( they are toxic for birds.)
If you do a google search and search this site, you will find MANY, MANY suggestions on what to feed your baby!!
Your lovebird is still very young so he might not have a problem adapting to the pellets.....don't switch him cold turkey because you want to encourage him to eat....give him some by hand, since he seems to like that...that will help him get used to the taste, too.

He's really sweet with you!! I'm sure it will all work out!!!

Let us know....

[shosh]

Also...for the times when you can't be home....make sure he has a nice, big cage with LOTS of toys in it to play with. Lovebirds love to play a lot and if you've got some good toys and toys he can also rip up and shred, that will keep his mind occupied and he won't be AS lonely when you aren't there.
Also make sure your dad talks to him. Tell him to put the radio on during the day so he has some music ( they love noise). That also helps.

[Vinhara]

He is very sweet...to me. Definitely not to my dad, he seems to loathe my dad. Even having my dad in the same room makes Sora start biting at any fingers that come near.

Which reminds me! He's picked up this very painful habit of suddenly racing after fingers and biting them! Really viciously, not affectionately! I know wht an affectionate nibble is like; he's given those to me many times. But now, for no apparent reason, he seems to have gained a hatred of fingers. When it's just me, and I've been talking to him, reassuring him that it's really me, he's fine, and easily steps up onto my finger and everything. But, if I've been quiet for a while, or if my dad comes in the room, he just HATES fingers. Even if it's me, he just lunges after them! One of my fingers actually started bleeding on the inside! I usually slowly, gently place my finger on his beak, talking the whole time, saying "NO. No. NO." If he gets too violent, just biting again and again, I put him in a somewhat small cage we use for transportation and let him still see me, but have him kind of shut away and not able to come to me and socialize.

I don't know if this is an effective solution. He doesn't MEAN to harm me; when I let him out of the 'punishment' cage, he instantly goes on my finger with no complaints and even talks a bit, as if saying sorry. However, it REALLY hurts! It makes me feel bad, first that he feels insecure enough to bite, and second, that it just really really HURTS! Are there any other things I should do, or will this work eventually?

I'll take your advice about pellets and see the man I bought him this weekend. I'm glad about learning about the avocado and rhubarb thing, though! I don't know what Rhubarb is, but I definitely know Avocado, and though we don't usually have those in good supply, I'd hate to somehow get one and end up killing Sora!

I'm worried about asking my father to socialize with Sora. Though he'll willingly feed him, I just can't help but remember that Sora gained his fear of fingers AFTER I left him alone with my dad for a week. Also, I KNOW that my father's favorite 'game' with Sora is to poke at him with his finger to make him lunge forward. Though it is admittedly amusing to see, I've asked him to stop many many times because I KNOW it makes Sora angry and distrustful. I want Sora to have no fears about loving me, and letting my dad have access to teasing him like this day after day makes me worried.

I'll see about the radio suggestion, though I don't know if he'll actually do it...He really doesn't care as much for Sora as I do. In truth, my family has always considered my deep love and hopes for my pet's happiness to be foolish, unnecessary, and troublesome.

[shosh]

..but they did BUY you the bird, so they must care about YOUR happiness even if they don't totally understand your devotion to your animals. I would stress that to your parents when they have to deal with your bird.....

Rhubarb is a fruit....

My lovebird, bam-bam, just LOVES chomping on fingers. He's better than he used to be but it's a favourite game. We try and discourage it now but we should've when he was young and it wouldn't be such an issue now.!!!
The "naughty cage" is a good idea....worked well for Bam-Bam, too! He always seemed much nicer when he got out....You seem to be doing the right things.

Dad poking him with the finger will result in two things: Dad's gonna get bit and Sora will continue to think it's fun to bite. So...I'd suggest that you convince your dad that neither result is worth the few minutes of his amusement. Sora will continue to bite either because it has become a game or because he really will start to hate your dad....trouble is, the bad behaviour can transfer to others( you).

If you ARE gone for the whole week and only back on weekends, you really will have to have stimulation for Sora...mental and emotional. TOYS, TOYS, TOYS, MUSIC, TALKING, ETC. unless you go out and get another lovebird for his as company but then be prepared that he may not bond with you as nicely especially since you aren't there during the week.

[Vinhara]

Actually, they didn't. They brought me to the bird store, expected me to get some cute, easy-to-care-for finch that would pick me out of my depression, and got completely baffled when I picked Sora, despite even my previous decision to get a finch. . O.O I used my own money to buy Sora, and his food, etc.

I've told my dad time and time again not to do it, and i'll continue telling him, but no matter how much he waves his hand dismissively and say 'ok, ok', It won't really work.
He may think that he's obeying by not poking at the moment, but his very attitude towards Sora is clear that he sees my bird as nothing more than a passing amusement, nothing to get worked up about if something goes wrong. My mom is much more understanding, but she doesn't even live in the same city and the place she lives in has cats that don't belong to her. So, he's the only one who can and will take care of Sora's food and will actually care slightly that he's alive, but he's also one of the most horrible influences for Sora's present and future behavior.

I don't know about other birds...first, my parents probably won't allow it, (And I don't even really want anyone other than Sora) and second....Sora doesn't seem to even know what another bird IS. He saw another bird, our spice finch, flying around next to him and he just looked at it like it was an alien. I know, totally different species, but still, I would have expected SOME reaction.

[shosh]

Well, since you picked Sora, I guess you'll just have to wait it out until you can spend more time with him.
Hopefully, your dad will come around and start being nicer. The fact that he is looking after him is a good thing...Maybe he'll soon start to like Sora more....once he cares for him, it might make a difference. Just be supportive and help him along as best you can so he feels like he is a part of the process of keeping Sora happy and healthy.
Do you visit every weekend so you can see the bird??

[Vinhara]

He likes Sora. As a toy. My mom just told me that she saw Dad pressing down on Sora's tail, just to laugh at the reaction. She didn't tell me early because she knew I'd flip out. Well, I DID.

He DOES like Sora. Heck, he likes animals, period. The problem is that he does not see them as people with feelings and grudges and any of these 'human' concepts. Hell, he doesn't even see ME in that way! Though he may say he is a loving, caring dad, he still treats us all as something to amuse him!

Yes, every weekend I will be coming home to see Sora and show him that there are humans he can trust. I'm talking to my teachers about bringing him to the dorm. I just hope that he'll still eat while I'm gone, and that my dad won't scar him for life with his careless attitude. I know I'm only sixteen, and still young and 'foolish', but even I can tell that Sora is really insecure with my dad, and even I can have the maturity to know that provoking a bird just for a laugh is WRONG.

I can't change my dad; he's already proven that even YEARS won't change his attitude towards animals (He spent the last four years, starting from the moment I ARRIVED to live with him, tormenting my dog, kicking him awake out of his bed, mock-stomping when he's eating, deliberately making it so that my dog will bark in distress, all for a laugh!) All I can do is put a good argument for Sora to come to the dorms. *Crosses fingers*

[shosh]

I wish you luck....I was going to suggest that but I didn't think the powers the be would go for it.
Given that Sora is just one little itty bitty bird, I hope you won't have much issue with that. Some places are stricter than others but you've got a lot of heart and a lot of passion, so I hope that you will be able to bring him to the dorms.
Keep me posted!!!

[Flappuccino]

I would do everything I could to be allowed to take your baby with you. Do you have a friend who lives closer to you, maybe in an apartment off campus? Even a friend who lives far away would be better than having him where he is.
I'm sorry to say it, but what you've described in your post is animal abuse. Pressing down on his tail??? Kicking a dog, or pretending to stomp him? Making it bark in distress??? Poking at your new lovebird??? He's teaching him to bite, be mean and afraid of people.
I couldn't leave an animal in that kind of terrifying environment- brings tears to my eyes thinking about it.
Believe me, I understand your position... as a teen, I had a VERY abusive step-father. Both physically and emotionally. There were days when I wasn't allowed to feed my dog or my horse, or bring them under cover out of the rain and cold. They suffered just because they were mine. The other animals in the family were fine.
My point is, I was too young to get out. If you are in college, you should have other options available to you to protect yourself and the animals who depend on you for their love, care and their safety.
I wish you all the best, and if you ever want to talk, just pm me.
Jeni

[Vinhara]

It's not that bad...Ironically, I am, literally, the only person in our family who our dad 'loves'....even if I would like to deny it.

And also, I'm not in college. >.< I'm 16, still a junior. Though, my mom and I have talked about me bringing my pets with me to the US when I actually do go to college. I'd have to see about the laws of bringing a lovebird to the US from Taiwan. O.O Do they not allow it, and how would the transportation be like for Sora? Things like that.

I've managed to get Sora a bit more trusting for my fingers, but he still starts biting when Dad enters the room. Considering the thing Mom just told me about Dad pressing on his tail....>.< I'm no longer surprised.

I'm going to be talking to my dorm advisors in a day, or maybe even today. He is a little bird, and he's very sweet besides! (That is, if no one PRESSES ON HIS TAIL! >.<) Hopefully, I can put forth a good argument. My school is unusual (In my mind) that every one cares about me and my situation. One of my dorm advisors, in particular, really helped me to admit that I couldn't continue living in a situation where everything about my home life was centered around my dad, and where I couldn't even enter a room, sometimes, because he'd be watching ....Graphic...you know....With the volume on even when I was 12. It was this advisor, and my ex-principal, that helped me so much emotionally, and they even helped me get into the dorms when I was actually living in the same city. So, they know my situation, and they know my dad, and they also know how important my pets are to me.

Though, if I ever see my dad doing such a thing to Sora, I'll screw the rules and bring Sora anyways! XO .....Ok, not really, because I have too much respect for my school, but I will do something! This is MY baby, these are HIS feelings, and like hell I'm going to let you do the same thing to him that you did to my puppy! Yes, puppy, because Chickle was only 2 years old when I came over! The things he does will hurt Sora so badly emotionally! D'you know how much it hurt to realize that the baby I raised by hand no longer trusted me?! Sora has a spot in my room where he can retreat if he gets uncomfortable, ruffled, angry, or scared. This weekend, he spent most of his time there or on me, flying after me if I made any signs of leaving the room. He used to spend his time fly-hopping around the room, exploring. For my visit, he just stuck to me like a burr, then flew up to his Spot when Dad entered.

That's kind of a telling sign as to their relationship.