I am sooo stupid!!!!

[mmr]

I am ashamed to say what happened. It was one of those "I knew better" situations. So why did I do it??? Because I am a dumb A**.

I was hold Teal on my left arm. I was going to take him outside for a little one on one time. As I was walking past Ellie's cage (with Teal) i stopped and petted her (that was dumb!!!!). Well she put her foot on my arm like she wanted to step up. I did know better than to hold them both, I kept my are in place in fear I might scare her etc. She took her foot off and BAM she nailed my hand. Now it is swollen bruised and hurts. Like I have learned on here 9 times out of 10 the bites are our faults.
Now here is my questions:
1 it is obvious Ellie hates teal and hates me when I am with teal. Is there any way to calm this down for a happy medium? I realize that they will never get along, but I am hoping that I can make it so she isn't so pissed because of him. Ellie's foster mommy is saying that she is pissed because he is there and to get rid of him (I can't do that).
2- Ellie's foster mommy told me last night after I told her what happened taht I should start food training and cut her food to little! I couldn't believe that! Am I the only one that thinks that is mean? I told her old mommy I couldn't do that, and she told me that Ellie needs to learn who is boss.

There has to be a way to ease all the aggression, I just don't know how or what to do.

Ellie's foster mommy also told me to give her back to her!
I absolutely love her to pieces and couldn't do that just cause I got bit!! to me that is asinine. It was my fault. Plus all she would do is turn around and re sell her.

I am worried. what do I do?

[Lessadalinar]

You are not stupid. I prob would have done the same thing. The cute eyes looking at you and wanting you pick'em up. I'm a sucker lol

I'm confused as to why the foster mom would say give her back?! and what the heck, hold back food??!!!

You had said " Ellie's foster mommy is saying that she is pissed because he is there and to get rid of him" Why does she have a say in it and why is she pissed?

[mmr]

Originally Posted by Lessadalinar

You had said " Ellie's foster mommy is saying that she is pissed because he is there and to get rid of him" Why does she have a say in it and why is she pissed?

Since I got Ellie from her we had become friends. So we talk often. I don't think she is pissed, I think I am becaus of what she said. I don't think taking food away is the answer, but that is what she does (she had Ellie plus 10 macaws). I was shocked when she said to give Ellie back to her. Ellie is my baby!
I just need to figure out how to make everyone get along and Ellie to not be so pissed at me because of Teal (B&G Macaw). Is it even possible?

[Lessadalinar]

I don't know.... I haven't had to deal with birds not likeing each other yet... I've been lucky so far...

I agree, holding back food is insane. Def not the tactic I use.

[guest1717171]

wow thats a hard one
i do agree that the foster mom is insane

i too would have probably gotten bit if i were in your situation
ive been lucky so far as none of my birds have ever bitten me hard enough to see it the next day

hopefully someone can come and give you some good advice soon!

[tielfan]

Ellie's foster mommy told me last night after I told her what happened taht I should start food training and cut her food to little! I couldn't believe that! Am I the only one that thinks that is mean? I told her old mommy I couldn't do that, and she told me that Ellie needs to learn who is boss.

This is just plain wrong. You CAN use positive reinforcement training (with or without a clicker), which uses food rewards to encourage behavior that you like. It's an excellent method, and I recommend the book at Amazon.com: Clicker Training for Birds (Getting Started): Melinda Johnson: Books and the Yahoo group at Bird-Click : Bird-Click

But this type of training does NOT mean that you should cut down on the amount of food that the bird gets. Reducing food for training purposes is called food management or weight management, and it's dangerous in the hands of amateurs because it could lead to the bird becoming malnourished or even starving to death. It might sometimes be justified for experts who need strong control over the bird for safety reasons, for instance if they're going to be free flying the bird outdoors and want to minimize the risk it will fly away forever. But the average bird owner SHOULD NOT TRY IT!!!

Don't try to act bossy with a parrot - they don't understand the idea at all because that isn't how a flock operates in the wild. They'll interpret it as aggression, and will either fight back or try to get away from you. It's not good for your relationship with them either way, not to mention that it's practically begging them to bite you. You do need to teach them to behave reasonably well but you need to do it safely. Positive reinforcement training is safe. Getting bossy is not.

P.S. When one bird dislikes another there's really no way to teach them to be friends so you need to keep them apart. You also need to avoid getting bitten yourself, since biting habits are easy to establish and hard to break. But it's possible that positive reinforcement training might help them learn to coexist a little better. You could try rewarding them for not acting aggressive when they see each other.

[jenseits]

Ditto everything tielfan says - don't withhold food and don't try to "be the boss of your bird".

My birds don't get along either. I just have to keep them apart. We've established that only one of them gets to be on the playstand at a time and only one of them gets to interact with me at a time. We don't have a strict routine, but they understand the drill. If I'm playing with one of them, the other one just has to chill out, play by him/herself until it's his/her turn.

That's just the order of things here and it works out fine. It used to stress me out, but we've all gotten used to it. Carolyn is right, you can't force them to be friends, but getting everyone to coexist more or less peacefully isn't that hard once you've established some some ground rules.

[xafsmom]

I seriously don't think Ellie doesn't like you when you have Teal with you. I DO think Ellie is giving you a bite to reinforce the fact that Teal is a 'threat' in her mind. She's giving you tough-love protection, as it were. She bites you, to get you moving away from Teal. That actually shows she likes you very much!

Ellie's 'foster mom' is insane, indeed. You do not withhold food, because that's a negative reinforcement and will create bad feelings. Who will Ellie blame? You. Will she understand why you're punishing her? Nope! I also think giving Ellie back to her is crazy and you need to outright stop listening to her.

Teal and Ellie may never get along. Ever. You weren't stupid, you made a mistake. It happens! You'll make many more, as will we all. It may be that eventually, they will both tolerate each other enough to stop playing "mommy choose sides!" with you. Just be firm, be extra watchful about flare ups or potential flare ups where you might be in beak range.

When one bird acts up because you're interacting with the other, let the temper tantrum'er chill his/her wings and don't make a big scene over it. In fact, act completely indifferent to the calls and antics to get your attention off the bird you're working with. But when it's the other bird's turn, be completey indifferent with the first and give a lot of happy, positive attention to the one you're working with.

[Tom Lawless]

Boy, a lot of people have made some excellent points. I agree with Xafsmom, it could be a warning bite because she thinks you are in danger.

I have two birds that don't really like each other (understatement). When I mentioned this to the vet she told me that even if they act like they don't like each other it is still good that they are around each other. On some level, because they are a flock animal, it is a comfort to be around other birds.

Hang on to both of them, live and learn.

[mmr]

Thank you all for your suggestions. I heard before that she is warning me the Teal is a threat. But dang she could have been a little nicer with the bite! LOL

Please all keep in mind that:
1- I had no intentions of getting rid of either
2-that I would even think of taking food away (that was her foster mommies suggestion, and remember I was shocked when I heard it)
3-that I am bossy with them----- NEVER.

So although I don't believe tha tyou all think those things I want to make sure it is clear that all those were suggested to me by HER!

Also I don't let the birds with eachother. As I know how they attack! I was just walking by and pet Ellie at the same time. Honestly My thinking was to show Ellie that I can be with both and love both (but she didn't think so).

I also know I can not force them to get along. I am just hoping and trying to see if there is a way to make it more harmonious so Ellie doesn't worry so much and get so jealous.

Thanks again !!