she hates me

[aurora]

:( my tiel doesnt like me!! She is only new about 3mths old and has been living in my house for about a day. But she wont come anywhere near me. i had a budgie who loved me form the day and hr i got him. My tiel seems content but then she starts squeeling is this normal? u think she will grow to love me?

[smallonion]

Aurora, I can't tell you how many posts we get from people who have this problem. Your budgie was the EXCEPTION. Most birds will be nervous in a new home. Her whole world has just been turned upside down. She needs to learn that you are not a threat to her. It will come, but it will take time - could be days, weeks, or months. But it can and will happen! You were spoiled by your budgie who loved you from day one - that really hardly ever happens. You've only had her one day! We would be really surprised to hear of a tiel or any parrot who loved you from day one.

My advice is don't try to handle her for a few days - talk to her softly, a lot. Then take it from there. You definitely can make her love you. But she is like MOST birds, not like your budgie - it is going to take patience. Who knows? In a few weeks you and her might be inseperable. I bet you'll be writing to us to tell us the first time she steps onto your finger, and the first time she lets you scratch her neck.

You're very lucky because your tiel is still so young. Most of the time it is easier to bond with them when they are young. It will happen - don't give up on her! We get this question at least 3 times a month from new bird owners.

Best of luck,
Michele and Humphrey

[LtlWngdAngl]

From my experience with cockatiels, this isn't as big a problem as you think. Of all the birds I've owned or have foster homed until other homes were found, cockatiels seem to like to be independent a little more. Mine had her moments, but she knew I was there when she was ready to cuddle. I've found the best way to get them to need you is to buy a new toy/stuffed animal and play with them whenever you can using that particular toy, then when you leave, leave that toy for them to play with alone, and when you get home, play with him an the toy again. This will also help in the future with seperation anxiety when you need to leave to go to work, etc. The best toy I've found is a long toy with rubber band-like strings that fountain off of it with a bell at the end, I now buy them several at a time at walmart. Also, whenever you're home leave the cage door open, he'll come to you. If your laying on your bed or sitting on the couch, set a treat about a foot or two from you, and set him next to the treat, he'll then get comfortable being next to you, and you'll become his comfort zone. HOPE THIS HELPS!! :D

[aurora]

:D thanks guys! i hope she will come round soon becasue i am dyin to have a cuddle! plus i feel bad that she is in her cage all day as she wont come out! lol will send feedback when 1st breakthru is reached! In the mean time do u have any tips on finger training?

[LtlWngdAngl]

play the "stair stepper" game. Once you get her on your finger, just put your other finger up, tap her belly and say "step up," then just keep repeating that. It's a game for them, and it'll help train for fingers.

[aurora]

:? she wont even come to my hand. She still hates me. im gettin frustrated now casue i wanna cuddle my new pet. will she just step onto my hand one day or do i have to slowly introduce it to her? any way to make this taming process faster?

[LtlWngdAngl]

Do you try to entice her into your hand using treats? Try playing with smaller toys with her, that way your hand is associated with a toy, not a "scary human."
Try picking her up from her back and setting her on your finger, when you do that say authoritatively "step up." Then pet her or rub her neck (mine LOVED having her neck rubbed) and talk to her lovingly and praise her for staying. Another thing that birds in general seem to like is having their beak rubbed, if you think about it, the back of their neck and their beak are the only places they can't scratch or rub themselves, so she does need you for that! Please don't give up on her, she'll come around; and when she does it will all be SO well worth it.
Are you leaving her cage open whenever your home and letting her have te freedom to come and approach you (which will take time, but they like their freedom)? If you are, and the cage is up off the ground (which it should be), you might try getting her a small ladder that she can climb, and then she'll know if she gets to insecure, she can go back to her cage by herself.
Another thing I might try is getting a little portable perch and setting it up in your bathroom area. When you get ready to go in the morning or get ready to go to bed, you can take her there with you. I even had a shower perch made for mine. She enjoyed her showers and mornings so much that she'd have a FIT if I took a shower without her. She'd even make me blow dry her after her shower!!
another idea: birds love houseplants. Try getting one (and make sure it's not poisonous to birds) and letting her use it as a jungle gym. I did this, and mine would sleep in it. This is just an idea to get her out of her cage and comfortable in a new environment, one that you could be part of.
I really think most of your's stand-offishness is because she's so young. That gives me another idea i've used before: Though yours obviously has been weened already, try getting a little bit of hand feeding formula and once a day feeding her a couple of spoonfulls. I relate this to knowing how good it makes you feel when you go back home and mom makes you breakfast, or your favorite meal; and just the smell of it takes you back to that safe, loving feeling you remember as a child. I know it sounds crazy saying that a bird can have that same emotion and recollection, but you'd be surprised. Birds can be soooo... smart, I'm forever amazed at their intelligence level!
Let me know if any of this helps, I'll ask my bird lady today if she has any ideas or suggestions. I'm going there this afternoon to spend bonding time with my conure. I can't wait until I'm able to take him home!!

[aurora]

thanks but she wont even come anywhere near my hand! lol...but will try ur other tips!

[aurora]

:( she bit me

[LordVampyre]

aurora,
take a deeep breath and relax...
Ive had my tiel for 3 weeks this coming saturday. wow tomorrow it will be 3 weeks. Ive never had a bird before.

Im having some of the same things as you are. I also get bitten every day. Just stay calm make as little a reaction as possible and continue on.

Oh I got my bird to come out by opening the front door.. and leaving the room to my bedroom. Shes located in the front room and I can see her in my computer monitor (webcams are great). Took her a while to finally come out but she did. Also took her a week to get use to the new cage.
She is now zoomin all over that cage climbing and sliding down it its a riot.

I have really long hair and with it down it goes to midback. what I found was she would snuggle in my hair and make a sort of nest in it. she would then relax and she would sit there all night watching tv or listening to music. (she loved the LOTR triology I just did 12hrs and she did all of them).

She still refuses to let me touch her and nips at my fingers if I come close to her but I see a slow steady progress. Shoot, last night she actually took a piece of cracker from my fingers,, very first time.. it was nice.

so, please dont give up, dont get mad, try to keep your flustration down.. and just know there are others doing the same thing you are and that youre not alone.