Please don't shoot me for asking this...

[tillie]

Not sure if I can ask this question but who better to ask then people that love birds.
I don't have a bird but my Mother In law does, a cockatiel.
When ever we visited I would start getting short of breath and loose my voice as well as be sick for two to three days during and after each visit.
My doctor sent me for tests and I have Asthma and was told to stay away from birds and not visit anyone with birds.
(as well as other things)
Husband tried to tell his mom about this but before he could get it out she at once said, It's not my bird.

I know she loves her bird and I understand, but it has free range of the house at all times, and I just can't risk my health by going over there.
It's very scary to cough so much and have trouble breathing that you end up in the hospital.)
So anyone have any ideas as to how to explain this to her in a "soft" way?
I'm asking all of you this because you understand about loving birds
Thanks
Tillie

[kathleen]

This is just me, but, if someone told me they were allergic to my bird or plain didn't like it, I would try my best to be understanding, compassionate, and compromising. It's wonderful that you are taking the initiative to want to discuss it with her softly. Explain to her what the doctor told you and maybe suggest instead of going to her house she can come over to yours or you could visit with her at a nearby restaurant. Obviously, she loves her little guy and is defending it but that shouldn't mean friction between the two of you. Hope you work it out.

[b&gorlando]

Dont know if it will work, but maybe you could get her a hepa filter. When you go over she could have it on. You might need one for home as well. Do some research on them. They range from cheap to expensive. But make sure they do not have OZONE. From what I have read on this board Ozone is not good. DO a search for Hepa you will pull up many threads.

[Oscars Mom]

If your getting such bad asthma that you have to go to the hospital and are sick for 2 days you have a SERIOUS allergy to the birdand should stay away from it period!!!!!Explain to your mother in law that it IS the bird and you cant go over to her house anymore and then DONT. I dont know how often you see herbut seeing her other places is a good option. I do sympathize with her too cause I really love my petsand would be miserable without them.

[LtlWngdAngl]

My grandmother is the same way with her dog and her smoking. She knows that I have asthma and BAD allergies (though not to birds), and my Dad has REALLY BAD allergies. When we break out in hives from her dog or I can't breath b/c she smokes in the house, she swears that it has nothing to do w/her dog or her smoking. I just have to limit my time over there. When I want to see her or spend time with her, I try to get her to go to dinner or out for a drink so that I don't have to be in the house.

Some older people are just difficult and resistant to change.

[Basket Case]

I think she needs to see you when you are not around her bird to see how much better you feel. If POSSIBLE go from a place outside of her home (her with you) and then straight into her house with her. Like I said if this is possible for you, you don't want to become so ill you end up in the hospital. She needs to see how the bird effects you.

If this doesn't work or can't be done, maybe your husband can talk with her.

We have had to deal with my mother due to my son's problems with digesting protiens. Sometimes they just won't listen until they are in the situation with you and see what happens.

Best of luck to you.

[Kiwi1224]

My husband has asthma and allergies -- he is worse around dogs and cats and as long as I stay ahead of feathers during molting (3 budgies, 1 parrotlet), he's been good. I did purchase a Hamilton Beach Hepa filter from Amazon for about $95. We have one in the family room where the parakeets are housed and another for the bedroom. They have helped quite a bit. I have always had birds but also want him to be comfortable. I have read that tiels have more powder dander than some other smaller birds. His adjustment to our parrotlet in February was rough for about a week but since adding the second filter, he's been fine. I would not push my luck with another bird but we have been lucky stablizing him with the 4 birds we have. At this point in time it would be best that you have your mother in law over to your home since it is not worth having an attack. If she goes with a filter, it would need to run 24/7 if you were to try to go back into the house. Not guaranteed though. Good luck...

[ROYJOY]

most of the austrailian and african birds shed powder to repel water, others, such as most south american birds, have oil glands for this purpose. the cockatiel is a powder (dust) bird, and probably is the reason for your sufering. it is wise, as others have sugested, to stay away from it, and i hope you can make your MIL understand. good luck.

[tillie]

Thanks so much for all your help.
You helped me to understand I have to do as my doctor said and to understand when I can't breath my body is trying to tell me something.
Husband started out by telling his mother I was allergic to feathers.
She at once said well it's not Lucky, (her birds name) no one can be allergic to birds.
So I'm going to just stay away from her home but if she ask me I will be honest and tell her what the doctor said about me not being able to go around birds and to not go to a home where they were kept.

I won't be able to get a bird but would like to stop by this site to read about the cute things yours do and to see the pictures.


Just a note I do have feeders up on the hill so I can feed the wild birds the black oiled sunflower seeds in the winter.
Tillie

[Valo's Moirana]

if you go to a book-store or a library, and get a relatively basic book about pet-birds (which includes the cockatiel) it will usually mention the dust that's being shed by some of the species.... and it will also mention that humans CAN indeed be allergic to this powder. maybe that will help her understand that it is possible that it is her bird that makes you sick, and then i'm sure she'll understand that you won't be coming over much....