How to Kill Time at Walmart

[Cowgirl Chris]

Subject: How to kill time at Walmart
15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And last but not least!)

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

[kathleen]

Once again, Chris, you have gotten me to LMAO. Thanks, I needed it this morning.

[Cowgirl Chris]

Originally Posted by kathleen

Once again, Chris, you have gotten me to LMAO. Thanks, I needed it this morning.

you are welcome

[The Outlaw]

These are choice

[Irish]

OMD! What a hoot! I think I'm gonna ask the spouse to set up a tent, an' maybe visit the fitting rooms :-).

Hey! We don't usually patronize Mall Wart, but it might just be worth a visit sometime soon. Thanks for the laugh!

[cfulhage]

I've gotten that in email a few times...I've actually done a few of those things with my girlfriends!

[Freedomoflight]

Camille- which ones? :) LOL
Those are great- I like the "assume the fetal position one- no no its the voices again..." hahha.

[cfulhage]

Originally Posted by Freedomoflight

Camille- which ones? :) LOL
Those are great- I like the "assume the fetal position one- no no its the voices again..." hahha.

Numbers 1, 5 (although it was a Kit Kat), and 13! I'm too shy to do them on my own, I at least have to have my best friend, Kelsy, with me. She'll do anything...

[Kristi]

This isn't exactly the same, but it's fun to try:

Go to Starbucks and order something. When they ask you for your name, tell them something crazy. They write your name on the cups there and when your beverage is ready they call out your name to come get it. It's a hoot.

I took my kids there on Saturday and we all gave them a fake name. My son Jacob was "Zeus", my daughter Laney was "Appletart", my daughter Danielle was "Grape" and I was "She-Ra". It's pretty hysterical to watch the Starbuck's employees' faces when you tell them those names. It's even funnier to watch other customer's expressions when the Starbuck's employee calls out your name.

I cracked up when they said "Tall mocha latte for Zeus".....

[Irish]

You all obviously have more fun than we do, Kristi :-). Usually, they don't ask for names at all around here at all, but when they do, and I give them mine (Irish), they don't even bat an eye. Not even when my spouse, who immigrated here from Scotland and has a pronounced Scottish accent, tells them "Scot"--no one seems to get it. We must be way too subtle around here :-).