Pet Rules - post low on the refridgerator.

[Darlie]

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in
the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming
your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.

Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they
sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to
maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years
--canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!


To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who
is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.


Remember: In many ways, dogs, cats and Birds are better than kids
because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

[Tiki]

Darlie, those are too funny!

[mizbirdy]

That's hilarious!! Good job & very creative!!!

[GlendaNS]

Good one! I love it!!!!

[little_angels]

that is so funny! im definately printing that one out!

[Buteo]

Very funny.
The only problem is our dog doesn't read english....
and ya translate it into Canine?

[Darlie]

Originally Posted by Buteo

Very funny.
The only problem is our dog doesn't read english....
and ya translate it into Canine?

I can't, but I think there are translation sites on the big wide web.....
don't know if they've mastered canine yet though.

[Lisa B]

very cute! I like
If they get pregnant you can sell thier babies.
I think I'll print that one out too!

[felisdomesticus]

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years
--canine or feline attendance is not required.

way too true!! My SoCo man goes NUTS if I shut him out of the bathroom for even 10 seconds. He has freaked me out many times when I'm taking a bath b/c I'll feel this breathing on my neck and it's him--just checking in on me to see what's going on.

[Jonergin]

The bathroom one is especially true for me too! My oldest cat will actually try and curl up on my lap if I happen to be on the toilet for too long. Heaven forbid I try and take a bath with my dog around, the second I make any kind of splashing sound she tries to catch the water...