How to get a bird's attention: Spin yer balls!

[Buteo]

Irish:
Yeah I've seen people who juggle use them to keep up the dexterity and help exercise the hands. You've probably heard your daughter make hers sing.

jimpierce7:
I'm glad ya knew.
But ya remember the old saying about going off half cocked......

Originally Posted by homebird

I knew what you were talking about but I must say My Eyebrows were up at the allusion you were creating - remember the minors! & the monitors!

Yes, I realize I was skatin on some pretty thin ice.

However, the racy context is kinda unavoidable given the subject. I tried my best to keep the sugestive nature low key.
Believe me, I kept in mind that at all times there might be a younger audience reading it.... Considering my daughter reads many of these posts- of course I'm going to be very careful in how I wrote it.
I also realized that the mods & admins would most likely read it too.
I didn't receive any warnings, so I think it came off with the level of humor I tried to create.
That's as close as I'm ever going to get to posting anything of that nature.


I truly hope no one was offended by this thread.
If anyone was offended, you have my deepest and most sincere appologies.

As to a vidclip of me spinnin my brass, I'd love to, but..........

Unfortunately, none of my vidcap software is new enough; the compression algorithms are way outdated. The file sizes on the vidclips turn out HUGE, even for a short sample.

Originally Posted by homebird

Don't worry about the 'folk' - you can't please everyone.

That's for sure. I've had one of my steel set ruined by a group of seniors!
I almost got a the crud kicked outta me over it too!!!
No kidding!

They're were about a half dozen of them.
They were waiting for a bus after they'd come out of what I guess was a prayer meeting at the church just down that block. Later, they were heard to say they thought I was a some kind of Hari Krishna or Bhudist cult member.
Just before all helk broke loose I thought I heard one of them saying I walking around laying some kind of "Evil curse" on everything.

One couple spoke in low terse voices to each other in some eastern european language. Suddenly the one man turned, stepped forward shouting "In the Name Of Jesus!" and smashed me across the one hand with his cane!

It was a good solid strike on the wrist bones & my hand went numb immediately. The pair of spheres in my hand hit the edge of the curb and were deflected out into the street.

((While these balls aren't solid metal, if you've ever picked up a set of these, you'll know just how heavy they are. If they were to be used as such, they could become seriously lethal weapons.))

The first one bounced almost across all 4 lanes of traffic before a car tire ran over it. It must have been at the edge of the tread, because the pressure the car exerted fired it the rest of the way across the street. It struck the far curb like a rifle shot and spun down the gutter to roll into the nearest sewer opening.

"Praise the Lord! Thank you Jesus for your help against the heathen!!" Comes out of the group of seniors.

The second one wound up on a more damaging trajectory. One car hit it, the impact fired it straight at another car coming towards it in the far lanes. It went straight through the oncoming car's grill & rad like a 3" slug from a 12 gauge shotgun!!!!

It must have hit the fan or the belts because it clacked around for a second before it was flung back out the bottom and across the center line again. It then bounced up off a crack in the asphalt, breaking another cars headlight & cornering light to be riccochetted off a front quarter panel of yet another car.
After causing damage to a total of 3 vehicles, it wobbled to a stop almost right back at my feet.
It was cracked & considerably more oval than round, covered in deep scratches & gouges with traces of antifreeze & oil over most of it's surface.

"Hallelujah!! Praise you Lord!!!! Thank you Jesus! Their power can not stand against the faithful!!!" echos from the group of seniors raising their hands & bibles to the sky.

The folks who's cars had been damaged stopped & pulled over. One of the senior couples immediately told the nearest guy (the 285lb linebacker with the hole thru his grill & rad) that I was the one who owned the projectiles.

I could see my life flashing before my eyes, but I was in absolute shock as to what to do.

I honestly believe my guardian angel was watching & knew exactly what to do.
God, In his infinite wisdom, saw fit to have the pair of cops on footpatrol within visual range when the older man hit me.
They saw the whole thing.

The security camera of the Bank we were in front of wasn't at the right angle to capture the mayhem that was caused on the street, but it did catch the assault part of the episode on tape.

[jimpierce7]

holy crap!!! I thought wierd stuff happened to me!!! That tale is one for the books no doubt!

[homebird]

I keep saying that there's a writer in there - kicking to get out.
I don't think even a creative writer could have come up with this outrageouuuuuuuus story - I think I had my mouth open the whole time! Truth is stranger than fiction!

My brother who lived in Paris for over 10 yrs was at the bank when a senior pushed ahead. He was on his break- trying to get some cash - for those who are younger, it used to be pretty annoying getting money out of the bank during 'bank hours' before electronic machines. When the senior got huffy with his lack of sympathy he replied, "Being old doesn't absolve you from being rude" (n perfect French) - as he saw it, the senior had all day to bank.

Never underestimate the elderly – of whose ranks I’m all too soon to join *shudder*.

[Buteo]

Shocked the helk outta me Homebird!
I have absolutely nothing against "born again" Christians or seniors.
Gee, I was always taught to respect my elders.

The one thing I just couldn't understand is I guess none of them had ever met a Krishna or a devote traditional Bhudist.....
most of them don't have beards, moustaches & hair halfway down their backs like I do.

Originally Posted by homebird

Never underestimate the elderly – of whose ranks I’m all too soon to join *shudder*.

That's why I let my hair grow.... before I can't anymore!!

[homebird]

You: Long hair – beard – standing peacefully, & not bothering anyone.
Seniors: They were just from church – No brotherly love there – No do unto others as they would do unto you (or were they getting in the first blows?).
Me: I might start ‘flaming’ if I talk Religion & 'personal takes' on piety.

You are probably as close to their idea of a 'vagrant' or a ‘delinquent /anti-middle-of-road’ kind of person they are paranoid/fearful about. They have seen too much Crime TV. They should get out more.
I guess the powers that be were looking after them, after all. I can’t imagine what would have gone down if one of the ‘balls’ had hit one of them! *the horror* Bet you would have been on the News! Of course you were the one saved from that as well. Funny how these things start to look better as you examine them. Feel sorry for the drivers tho.

Scary how reactionary they were. Maybe you should look into 'body language' classes or something - exude peace & love.
Go on What Not to Wear etc.

Got lots of ideas – not all of them good ones – but I know you won’t take offence.

[Buteo]

Originally Posted by homebird

Scary how reactionary they were. Maybe you should look into 'body language' classes or something - exude peace & love.
Go on What Not to Wear etc.

Got lots of ideas – not all of them good ones – but I know you won’t take offence.

You're tellin me?
The sad thing is, I was calm & happy till it happened.
In fact, I don't think I could have been exudin any more peacefulness than I already was.
With that kind of reaction, it wouldn't have mattered what I was wearing...
I'm pretty sure I could have been in a black suit with a white collar and I still woulda looked like the antichrist to them....
They're minds were already made up.

"What Not to Wear"??????????????
yer kiddin right?
((Ya mean there are real people that actually watch that show??????))

Sorry, I gave up on that show the first time I saw the opening sequence run.
You know where the 2 hosts are walking down the street gawking at what everyone else is wearing.
I'm really hesitant to take fashion advice from people who look like that.
Her blue blouse & skirt looks like she slept in it the night before the taping......
And I'm sure the guy stole that purple suede jacket from the wardrobe room Donnie Osmond used when he had that show with Marie.

[homebird]

Guilty! But I was kidding - but I could be wrong...you're protesting too much!

That saying, the show is always rather cruel at the start & like so many shows repetitive in layout - but I got hooked for a while, & there are a few good episodes in there. It's more of a 'grooming' kind of show.
I don't know about you, but a lot of us tend to let ourselves go over time.
No one will ever get me into high heels or pointy shoes - I can't believe they promote that.
The guy make-overs looked great - yes they have had guys on there. They may have had the best make-overs.
Men's clothing rarely looks trashy. But us women can find many ways to look bad.
It's kind of like Funniest Home Videos & they go to the people & try & make it better.

[Sophiestkated2]

Originally Posted by jimpierce7

I'm no idiot..........I ain't gonna mess with a guy that has brass balls..............and yes I knew what you were talkin about!!! But I gotta say I had that half cocked grin most the time I was reading!

Ditto what he said!!

Vewwy cute post, and good too!!

Jeth

[Sophiestkated2]

Originally Posted by Buteo

Irish:
Yeah I've seen people who juggle use them to keep up the dexterity and help exercise the hands. You've probably heard your daughter make hers sing.

jimpierce7:
I'm glad ya knew.
But ya remember the old saying about going off half cocked......



Yes, I realize I was skatin on some pretty thin ice.

However, the racy context is kinda unavoidable given the subject. I tried my best to keep the sugestive nature low key.
Believe me, I kept in mind that at all times there might be a younger audience reading it.... Considering my daughter reads many of these posts- of course I'm going to be very careful in how I wrote it.
I also realized that the mods & admins would most likely read it too.
I didn't receive any warnings, so I think it came off with the level of humor I tried to create.
That's as close as I'm ever going to get to posting anything of that nature.


I truly hope no one was offended by this thread.
If anyone was offended, you have my deepest and most sincere appologies.

As to a vidclip of me spinnin my brass, I'd love to, but..........

Unfortunately, none of my vidcap software is new enough; the compression algorithms are way outdated. The file sizes on the vidclips turn out HUGE, even for a short sample.



That's for sure. I've had one of my steel set ruined by a group of seniors!
I almost got a the crud kicked outta me over it too!!!
No kidding!

They're were about a half dozen of them.
They were waiting for a bus after they'd come out of what I guess was a prayer meeting at the church just down that block. Later, they were heard to say they thought I was a some kind of Hari Krishna or Bhudist cult member.
Just before all helk broke loose I thought I heard one of them saying I walking around laying some kind of "Evil curse" on everything.

One couple spoke in low terse voices to each other in some eastern european language. Suddenly the one man turned, stepped forward shouting "In the Name Of Jesus!" and smashed me across the one hand with his cane!

It was a good solid strike on the wrist bones & my hand went numb immediately. The pair of spheres in my hand hit the edge of the curb and were deflected out into the street.

((While these balls aren't solid metal, if you've ever picked up a set of these, you'll know just how heavy they are. If they were to be used as such, they could become seriously lethal weapons.))

The first one bounced almost across all 4 lanes of traffic before a car tire ran over it. It must have been at the edge of the tread, because the pressure the car exerted fired it the rest of the way across the street. It struck the far curb like a rifle shot and spun down the gutter to roll into the nearest sewer opening.

"Praise the Lord! Thank you Jesus for your help against the heathen!!" Comes out of the group of seniors.

The second one wound up on a more damaging trajectory. One car hit it, the impact fired it straight at another car coming towards it in the far lanes. It went straight through the oncoming car's grill & rad like a 3" slug from a 12 gauge shotgun!!!!

It must have hit the fan or the belts because it clacked around for a second before it was flung back out the bottom and across the center line again. It then bounced up off a crack in the asphalt, breaking another cars headlight & cornering light to be riccochetted off a front quarter panel of yet another car.
After causing damage to a total of 3 vehicles, it wobbled to a stop almost right back at my feet.
It was cracked & considerably more oval than round, covered in deep scratches & gouges with traces of antifreeze & oil over most of it's surface.

"Hallelujah!! Praise you Lord!!!! Thank you Jesus! Their power can not stand against the faithful!!!" echos from the group of seniors raising their hands & bibles to the sky.

The folks who's cars had been damaged stopped & pulled over. One of the senior couples immediately told the nearest guy (the 285lb linebacker with the hole thru his grill & rad) that I was the one who owned the projectiles.

I could see my life flashing before my eyes, but I was in absolute shock as to what to do.

I honestly believe my guardian angel was watching & knew exactly what to do.
God, In his infinite wisdom, saw fit to have the pair of cops on footpatrol within visual range when the older man hit me.
They saw the whole thing.

The security camera of the Bank we were in front of wasn't at the right angle to capture the mayhem that was caused on the street, but it did catch the assault part of the episode on tape.

Yougottabe****tin'me!!

*Pluswhich*, I still hold that your post was very clever indeed, and not in the least bit offensive. I've seen much worse on 7pm family programming! Yours was well thought out, well worded, and completely acceptable for a minor. What the adults take from your post is theirs alone!!
I say, vewwy-vewwy clever!!!!

Jeth

[Sophiestkated2]

PS, can you give me size ratio on your brass balls? Like hold them up against a familiar object so I can see how big they are? I'm actualy trying to be serious here.., Nanth and I both have arthritis issues, and I know this is something we could do. Also, is there any reason to have the brass versus anything else? We just need to relax the hands and fingers, basically.
Thanks!

Jeth