The Year's Best Actual Headlines

[LtlWngdAngl]

THE YEAR'S BEST [ACTUAL] HEADLINES OF 2004:

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
[imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[what a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[you think?!]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[Scotland Yard may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken!]

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
[That was really giving of himself!]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
[nuff said!]

[melster122]

Brilliant. Really liked those.

[Kevin]

HAHAHA couple of good ones

[aussieparrotchic]

how funny I havent stopped laughing through the whole thing. In Australia on one of our radio stations we have a show called Captain Obvious where people ring up and relay ridiculously obvious statements either made by the media or heard elsewhere it can be quite funny. WOndering if anyone has any ??????ILL start I recently brought a rug for my daughters bedroom floor it was in the shape of a surfboard and on the tag it said "this is not a flotation device"????????WHAT THE???????

[Lynjupiter]

You forgot the one that was on CNN

Experts agree Bin Laden may or may not be alive.
( ummm duh, boy someone was working hard to fill empty spaces that day)

Lynda

[LtlWngdAngl]

too funny!

[Tiki]

ROTFLAMO! :icon_lol:

Don't you just HATE people who get their jobs just because they look good in a suit? :aiwebs_02

[nidoster]

or I like the tags on extension cords that go "for indoor or outdoor use only" Where else can you use it?

or I like the one on blow dryers that say "do not use underwater" well um what can u dry underwater?

Nidoster

[aussieparrotchic]

what about the little packets of crystals that come in new shoe boxes with do not eat written on them like youd buy new shoes and eat the airfreshner out of them. But then again it probably goes to show that there are really really stupid people out there who need these warnings :aiwebs_01 :aiwebs_01 :aiwebs_01

[Graehstone]

http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/i...arwin2003.html

This site just kills me ... lol no pun initended