You know you have bad hair when...

[Lora, Archer, & Kira]

...birds return to your hair every year to nest.

...people ask you what it's like to get electrocuted.

...people stop you on the street and ask if you do children's
birthday parties.

...children point at your head and say, "What's your kitty's name?"

... you're asked to remove your hat in a restaurant even though
you're not wearing one.

...you get barber shop gift certificates for birthdays and
Christmas.

...dogs growl at your head.

...a parent points to your head and says to their kid, "That's
what will happen to you if you do drugs."

...you get job offers from Ringling Bros. Circus.

...you accidentally get pruned while standing near a hedge.

[Lora, Archer, & Kira]

He said . . . I don't now why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
**********************
He said . . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I
sit on the sofa!
**********************
He said . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave
you?
She said . . .Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
************************
On a wall in a ladies room . . "My husband follows me everywhere"
Written just below it . . . " I do not"
************************
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do
the dishes?
A. Both of them.
***************************
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.
*****************************
Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.
********************************
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
********************************
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.
********************************
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and
good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.
********************************
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.
***********************************
Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married
women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
**************************************
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.
************************************
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
***********************************

[TooLover]

Gotta love it :!:

[smallonion]

I love the hair one - it is approprate for both me and my husband- both long, curly thick hair. No wonder Humphrey likes to spend time on our heads- reminds him of a nest?

Michele and Humph