Lost my baby two weeks ago...

[birdybirdsmommy]

My husband and I feel alone in this grief in our life. I don't know of anyone who's gone through the loss of a bird, personally. It's like losing a child, honestly. The hurt and grief are so profound and deep. I feel like my heart broke that day. Everything was fine, and my 7 yr old best friend, a cockatiel named Bird, died in my arms for no apparent reason-two weeks ago. We had a nap, then a bath, we were warm, everything was fine, and on the way into the bedroom she jumped onto the dresser and started panting hard and the breathing slowed quickly until it stopped. I was horrified. I tried mouth-to-mouth, even tried cpr, but to no avail. She was gone, and part of me went with her. She was with me constantly everywhere I went in the house, and I'm in shock that she's gone. I especially miss her flying to me every day after work, totally excited that I was home, and giving me a million kisses hello. I can't bear the thought that I'm never going to see her little face again. I miss her so immensely and deeply, I can't tell you the absolute void I have in my soul without her in my life. I cry all the time. We're thinking she had a heart attack, had a problem we didn't know about. I hand tamed her as soon as she was fully weaned from her birdie mommy, and she was my baby. So many people can't relate to this, they don't understand the love a person can have for a bird. I had no idea how affectionate and smart and sweet birds were! Anyway, I wish I knew of this site when this first happened, I had nowhere to turn. Two weeks have passed. I swore I'd never have another bird-I'd never "replace her". My husband kept saying that I was such a great birdie mommy that it's not fair to not give another birdie that opportunity. Anyway, I went to a bird farm we have nearby on Monday, just to see the cockatiels, as I needed to see her again, even though that was impossible. When I got there, there was a cage with two tiels in it that were alone, less expensive as they were dark gray, not tame, and one had half of his tail CUT OFF. Literally a straight nasty cut off. As soon as I looked at him he started to talk to me endlessly. Looking right at me! I inquired and the guy told me no one wanted them as they were plain gray, not tame and old-about a year old, and possibly went through whatever as seen by the cut tail. Right then and there to my own surprise, I said I'd take them. Now we have two beautiful boys, we named them Maxie Agador and Rambo Spartacus. (maxie and rambo). They've been here for a few days and are getting used to us. It's probably going to be a hard long road taming them, who knows what they've been through, but we're willing. One thing for sure, they'll have a great home. I need advice and tips, though, if anyone has the time to tell me some. I posted that request in another section and didn't get much of a response. I ordered a book hopefully that will help me! Anyway, thanks for listening. Anyone else who would like to talk about bird loss, or helpfully offer taming advice, I'm here. -Dawn

[LizTheParrotSlave]

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your companion. But I'm glad that you have chosen to love again.

[NoLimitssjca]

Dawn,

Sorry to hear about your sudden loss. From the sound of it your husband was right. As far as advice goes I think you have lots of practical experience to offer. It will take time to earn their trust.

Beyond luring them out with treats, riding around on your shoulder and the like, taking your time is the key. I think you should give yourself credit for knowing a lot from your experience. One big difference will likely be that these are males. They are much more talkative and interact (in my case) a lot more verbally and less physically than a female. That may be one way to break the ice with them, Whistle a tune that they can mimic. I have found they get about 8 notes (max) to a run. I like obscure tunes and picked the theme from "Bridge Over the River Kwai". This really helped my little guy bond to me.

Again, sorry to hear of your loss but thrilled that two wonderful guys have found a great home.

[Chief's Mom]

So sorry to hear about Bird. Unfortunately, I have to tell you that the broken heart feeling never really goes away. The good thing is your husband was right. Its a shame to give up birds altogether after a loss. You'll create great new memories with your new birdies and they'll continually remind you of the birdie passion that Bird introduced you to.

It's funny because some things in your post sounded like the way I felt when my sun conure, Habanero died over a year ago; I couldn't replace him, but my house was too quiet. So we got a Greenwing Macaw instead and never stopped. Nine birds later, I finally decided I could add another sun conure to our flock. We've had Tootie for a month now (and we've added two more birds since ), and it's the best decision I could have ever made. ( And he had no tail either )

It sounds like they will have a great home and that's the first thing they'll need in successful training. Congrats on the two new tiels and again, I'm sorry about Bird.

[KimM]

I am so sorry! Yes. I have been through this as well. l lost my cockatiel about 8 yrs ago to a heart attack as well, and still think of him. I waited almost 2 yrs before I got another bird and low and behold I now have 2 macaws who are a complete joy, as well as my old man Cash, and my horse Handsome. My animals are my kids . they do become part of the family.

I've even talked to people who had pets they've lost and could not bear the loss so would not adopt more because they were shocked by the grief they felt. I'm glad you decided to open your heart and give your love to others "fids" that need you. You will be so glad you did. the grief will pass in time and you will remember the joy that little tiel brought to your lives.

[catschair]

I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard to explain that little hole in your heart to someone who has never unconditionally loved an animal. I am also glad that you have decided to offer that love to others. Best wishes to you and to them!

[jenseits]

So sorry for your loss, but welcome to BirdBoard. You'll find that people here "get" what you're feeling much more than anyone who's never been owned by a parrot. It's a nice group of folks here, and we're all passionate about our birds.

And I'll say this much too: you can never replace your first bird, and don't expect to; BUT... the joy and sense of wonderment that comes with earning the love and trust of an untame bird is like nothing else. It's great when they love you right off the bat, but when you have to work hard to get them to trust you, that moment when the light goes off over their head and they snuggle with you the first time, it's like magic.

Welcome.

[dgcashier]

So sorry for your loss. Don't they just grab your heart and hang on?? I love cockatiels. Thanks for giving these little guys a home.

[birdybirdsmommy]

Thank you all for such heartwarming and genuine responses. I really love this group! I'm so glad I found you and your words all truly do make me feel better. I'm excited to get to know these new little guys, I love them already!! --Dawn

[expressmailtome]

I am so sorry for your loss. No matter how many times you lose a friend (pets) it still hurts the same, I know.

Matt