Pepper, My Forever Love

[MusicalFeathers]

I'm sorry if this is in the wrong section but I wanted to express my pain. I've introduced my baby Pepper here before.
I made the decision to put her to sleep today.
Pepper was a pitbull I rescued from a man who used her to produce pups for money and to guard his illegal drug trade.
She loved me the minute we were introduced. Of course, so was I. We took her in, already having one pitbull. Both dogs got in a bitter fight and we were at wits end on what to do. My neighbor (who I was secretly dating at the time) took her in. Somehow she had a liking to him to. She was not friendly to strangers. This was where her forever home began.
For years she lived with my bf, Paul. I would see her and spend time with her everyday. It was so hard to adjust because I missed all the beautiful things we did together. Like, falling asleep on my bed together and giving her baths that she LOVED.
Just last year September I moved in with my bf and I was so happy to finally share a roof with her again.
She was a pig when it came to food (and loved to purposely wipe her slob on you after drinking or eating), a safety net for our family, a chihuahua inside a pitbull's body, and she gave love to us that was unimaginable. I cannot explain what an amazing dog she has been.
We took her to the vet today because she stopped eating last night and threw up. She NEVER refuses food. She had been losing weight, and had a milk sac in one of her nipples that seemed to harden.
We found out that she had cancer......that spread to her lungs. She had nodules that spread throughout her abdomen. She was 12 yrs and Chemo was really not an option. We never took her to the vet since we had her because of her aggression issue towards strangers. It has been hard dealing with that fact. I wish we had detected this earlier. Doc said it was possible it started before we adopted her.
It hasn't been a full day but I feel hurt and pain inside for the rest of my life. Never had I experienced unconditional love like that. Never will I again. Making music will never be the same again. Living our lives without her will never be the same again. 7 'o clock (her dinner time) will surely never be the same again. I miss my Pep. I will always cherish the beauty she exposed me to. I know my flock will miss her deeply. They were very attached to her. Pepper always made sure they were safe and seldom gave Chimney a back ride.
I hope in the heavens above she will watch over us like the angel she was when she was here. I love you Pepper.

Thanks so much for listening. Birdboard always somehow gives me that extra comfort.

Sitara

[kellywess]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Sounds like you and Pepper had a wonderful life. Take comfort in knowing that you gave her a chance at a second life. A tough decision you had to make today but a very loving one. Take Care

[mabird]

Oh, so sorry for your loss. I am sure she will watch over you at least as diligently as before (she's got such a beautiful view of you all now) Know that she is in a place where she is loved, cared for and most definately has a round, full belly.

*hugs to you and your family*

[hollyhawkz]

Oh Sitara,

I'm sorry to hear that. I would love to see pictures of her and her and you together.

I loved a rescue pit bull many years ago as well. My girlfriend begged me to go take this dog in. A friend of hers had been left with this vicious seething creature, by a vicious seething ex boyfriend. When I went to get the dog, she was chained up in a back yard as far away from the woman's house as possible. It took me an hour laying on the grass near her (just out of chains reach) before she stopped growling at me.

I knew there was hope because the woman told me it was her young son the the dog Grr, allowed to feed and water her. I realized if she trusted children, she could learn to trust adults.

Anyway, as soon as Grr came close enough to touch and pet, she was glued to my side for years. She was preggers, had 13 healthy puppies, (most went to neighbours LOL)and her name was changed to Little Girl. I used to sing "what's your name Little Girl" to her from Lynard Skynard.

The previous owner had bread her over and over and over, and tried to fight her. He tried to get her mean by feeding her gunpowder and locking her in a closet trick. Each time she had a litter, he made her bed of fiberglass insulation, which had worked it's way through out her body and organs. And eventually took it's toll.

She was smart and loving, and I loved the way she would gently rest her head on my lap, happy to be near me. She was a brindle, with little white feet and a white chest flash, and a small white streak down her nose.

It was over twenty years ago and I remember her like it was yesterday.

[MusicalFeathers]

Thanks a lot. All of your words really are comforting. It is so hard to adjust to life now when so much of her has been imprinted into our daily and nightly routine. Later I will post a few pictures. I so want to look at her photos but I know it will hurt.
We miss her so.

[Ashling]

I'm sorry I didn't find this sooner to share my condolences and empathy. I had to put down my dog of 12 years as well, just last year. He had cancer in his elbow and the vet said that amputation (IF he survived that) would only give him another 5 months of being 3 legged, old and arthritic. We put him down too, and although it's hard... it's the right thing to do.

[Tashnel]

Sorry for your loss I know the feeling I had a Pitbull named Bachus lost him 2 years ago due to tickfever also had to put him down as he had it a few times and in the end his liver just couldn't take the last one. The loss is unexplainable as he was my baby I was the only one he would come to for comfort ect. He was a tiger by day and a puppy at night as soon as arrived home!! I still miss him very much but know he is in a wonderfull place!! Strongs to you guys only time can heal!!

[MusicalFeathers]

Thank you guys. It is very hard knowing your baby is hurting with physical pain and they try so hard to not show it. Animals are just so incredible.
Sorry to hear for your losses. It's really a tough thing to sink in that they're physically gone forever....

[catschair]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thanks for giving Pepper such a wonderful life and a peaceful passage from her pain. Run free, Pepper

[new guy on the block]

omg, i deal with death everydat and thaught i was thick skinned about it but reading your story put a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye. i thank you for sharing this story as it has just helped my to regain a terrible but crutial to life feeling - sorrow and pain. i wich u all the best and good luck in the future. you were very fortunate to have crossed paths with such a loving soul.
kind regards luke