My sweet bird is gone

[bubbie57]

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My sweet Lutino cockatiel, Willow died last week and I blame myself. I have posted before but after my 2 "males" decided to have babies, I hand feed and raised 2 clutches. I love all my birds but had no idea how attached I would become :-)
The last clutch produced 3 lutinos and one gray. My babies would come to my office everyday and I would hand feed them and they were always by my side while I worked.

Anyway, (and this is where I blame myself for not being careful) I would let my birds be free in my office with the door shut and they would play. I let them play on the floor- please please don't let your birds do this :-). My sweet Willow was on the floor and she was stepped on. It was horrible- clearly her neck was broken. She died fairly quickly, but I still saw the agony she went through. She wasn't even fully weaned yet and not even 6 weeks old. I just can't forgive myself.

I miss her so much and whenever I look at my notes and my graphs of feedings and weight I just can't stand it. I go back and forth wanting another bird and not. I know I should give myself some time to think about it but I find myself looking at breeders ads.

Another question I have and would like some advice. My fids currently are:

Mom: Shatner (my boys names her :-)
Dad: Lubbens (my boys names her :-)


first clutch both grays
Bubbie- male he is only 4 months and can already wolf-whistle and say pretty bird!
Kiki: I believe female

Second clutch ( I only have Teela left)
Teela
So- 2 males and 3 females

I need to separate the parents but I am afraid to put Bubbie (male) in with the other male (dad) for fear he would be aggressive.
I plan on putting all three females in the other cage.

Questions:
IF i get another bird- would it be better to get another female or a male?
Does it matter?
I do like listening to males- such pretty sounds and the talking is pretty cool.

I am sorry this post is so long but I am just beside myself and there is such a big hole in my heart.

My thoughts are with all of you who has lost a baby.

[RubyMuse]

I am sorry for your loss. Give yourself some time.

[catschair]

I'm sorry for your loss. Fly free, Willow.