A bit too bonded?

[Pictaker]

I am worried over how Patience is treating the rest of my family (husband, kids). I think I may have allowed her to bond to closely to me.

At the start of June I was taking her down the halls of the elementary school and she and I would allow a few kids to touch her on the back with one finger. She was used to this type of thing because her breeder was very involved with Hospice and she would take her along to work and introduce her to lots of people.

Kermit who is about 2-3 mos. younger than patience doesn't care who is holding him. He can barely perch steady yet and he is just so sweet and looks up with those dark eyes that scream "I love you" to whomever he is with. So I am assuming they are normally all like this as babies and then grow into their personalities as the go right?

I can be sitting on the sofa with my husband and he might be minding his own business, when all of a sudden Patience tilts her head sideways and looks at him and then STOMPS off my shoulder, across the couch, climbs up on Shane and tries to nip his ear or nose! It actually looks so funny to see sweet little Patience try to look so bold and scary, but this is a new side to her. She treats the kids the same way except she won't let them come near her..she runs or flutters away when ever they come near.

Have I ruined her? Is there a chance I can still make her a bit more social? I have to admit to having a guilty little pleasure that she loves me most...I love her more than any of my other animals as well!

[Pepper's Pa]

It’s not too late to try to more fully socialize Patience to others.

The one thing that worries me is when you say, “I have to admit to having a guilty little pleasure that she loves me most”. If when Patience does something aggressive towards your husband or flees from your children, your response is her guide to what is acceptable. A grin, giggle or laugh from you is reinforcing this behavior. Those are the signals Patience will look for to determine if she’s demonstrating the correct behavior.

What you may want to do is when Patience begins heading towards your husband, stop her movement. Have her step-up to you and tell her to be a “Good Bird” and “No Bite”. Then have her step-up from your hand to your husbands. If she is “appropriate” towards your husband, then he should return her to you. If she is not “appropriate” your husband should work with her for a minute or two and if needed, give her a one-minute time-out in her cage. Then take her out and return her to you.
The goal is to teach Patience that being good will get her back to you faster.

Because your children look to be young, their mannerism, excitability and voices may be frightening to Patience. It may be harder to get her to accept them.

I live by myself and I’ve had to work to keep Pepper well socialized. I ask every visitor to my home to talk with Pepper and if they feel confident and comfortable to hold him. He has willingly stepped-up from my hand to nearly everyone and if he is not comfortable to step-up, I don’t force it . . . but will try again a few minutes later.
He has never bitten another person, I’m the lucky recipient of his bites, but he has claimed some rings, bracelets and watches as his own.

Though it’s not just about socialization, I have learned a lot about parrot behavior from the articles written by Dr. Susan Friedman. Here’s a link to several of her articles: Articles on Behavior Change - BehaviorWorks.com.

Good luck in helping Patience to be a more friendly and sociable parrot to others in your family.

[Pictaker]

Thank you for your thoughts "Pa" =)

First might I say that I read quite a bit on your website a few days ago! It is wonderfully written. I really enjoyed reading about your experience with Pepper.

As for the bonding issue, I think you are right in that I thought her behavior to be very funny to see at first. She looked so strong and mighty in her eyes for such a young little bird. But I do know that Senegal's have a reputation for being "spunky". I have made an effort not to laugh out loud however the last few times and I have told her "no" when she tries to nip. She has never even come close to nipping me at all, not even gently..she and I took to each other from the moment we met.

I do realize I want to keep a healthy parrot and to socialize her to the best of my ability will only benefit both of us. If for some awful reason I had to leave her with someone for an extended amount of time I would want her to be happy and not aggressive with the birdsitters.

My kids are loud and that is why they have rats and cats to play with for their pets. The parrots are strictly OUR pets and I don't care if they don't want to be around the kids too much. The kids are trained to treat animals with respect. They may get too loud around the cages from time to time, but they keep at a distance and never touch the cage or put their fingers in the bars at all.

I actually had a good day with the birds today. Patience is normally agressive toward Kermit if they see each other close by, but today I had to hold her back, but she just explored Kermit on the beak and they both looked pretty calm. If I would not have been holding her down a bit I know she would have lurched and bit Kermit though. These birds sure are territorial!

Thanks again for you comments!